Spencer Pratt shows us how it’s done

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Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag did not attend NBC’s summer press day today to promote ‘I’m a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here!’ perhaps because they’re getting married this weekend.

Or perhaps because former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich’s presence threatened to upstage them. And that -- as fans of ‘The Hills,’ Perez Hilton’s dispatches on them and the entire Speidiverse know -- cannot happen.

So I e-mailed Spencer to ask for an on-the-record comment about ‘I’m a Celebrity,’ or anything else he wanted to say.

He responded immediately. ‘Help me coming up with your dream quote for print and its all yours!!!’

Spencer still cares about print! It’s gratifying.

I then asked him a specific question: What’s your strategy for winning over America since the public votes?

Spencer e-mailed back adding four new people to the cc list (I’ve edited for spelling because he was responding on Blackberry): ‘Team, what’s my brilliant response about the American public wanting me to stay in the jungle being tortured by NBC producers with eating live creatures and having to sleep on the jungle floor for as long as possible in one quick soundbyte for the greatest writer/editor in history! My good friend Kate Arthur [Note: It’s Aurthur!] who will be attending the Speidi wedding tomorrow.’

This is a thoroughly modern wedding invitation if I’ve ever seen one.

Fifty-two minutes later, one of the cc’d people, from the public relations firm of Cohn & Wolfe, wrote:

‘Here is Spencer’s response to your question about ‘his strategy for winning over America’ in the new show:

‘This is nothing new to me; I’m tortured everyday by every entertainment show, tabloid, Web site and blog known to man. To me, it’s a vacation in Costa Rica. I just hope America let’s me stay long enough to get a tan.’’

I thanked them.

Spencer then wrote back: ‘Do you think that’s good enough? There are so many great angles, help us Kate. I want a legendary first quote about this show!’

Spencer, with a smile on your face, you continue to show us how the machine works in the Celebrity Industrial Complex. We thank you.

-- Kate Aurthur