‘The City’: Whitney Port shows New York what L.A. girls are made of

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Now that’s what I call a satisfying episode. After getting beaten down by everybody from her co-workers to her boyfriend lately, L.A. import Whitney Port finally reached her New York breaking point on Monday night’s episode of ‘The City.’ And in her moment of crisis, instead of looking to Erin or Allie for aid, Whit called Lauren Conrad, back in Los Angeles. For the ‘Hills’ fan turned ‘City’ girl, a more satisfying plot point is hard to imagine. When Lauren answered, her life looked too comfy and normal by comparison. No evil co-workers, no flaky boys, no need to wear a massive winter coat. ‘I feel like [New York] just swallows you up and spits you out,’ Whitney confessed to Lauren, finally able to drop the disguise of unflappable strength she has been wearing all season. ‘I just dont know if I made the right decision by coming here.’ Lauren immediately launched Operation Restore Whitney’s Confidence, saying that, thanks to Jay’s absence, ‘you can really do what you went out there to do.’ But Whitney didn’t look convinced.

For that, it took a visit from universal fairy godmother Diane Von Furstenberg, who seems to have more truisms on hand than a fortune cookie factory. Somehow, however, when Von Furstenberg recites the same self-help slogans you might find on a coaster at a spa, they sound like manna from heaven. ‘Absence is to love what the wind is to fire,’ Von Furstenberg purred to Whitney. And then, ‘the most important relationship you have in your life is the relationship you have with yourself.’ And with that, Von Furstenburg disappeared into a puff of smoke. OK, she didn’t, but I bet she totally could have if she’d wanted to. There is something almost inhuman about this woman. Maybe it’s her air of wisdom, or maybe it’s that unshakable poise; I bet she has never rushed anywhere in her entire life.

So, at the end of Whit’s convo with DVF-in-the-flesh, it was still unclear which way our fair-haired heroine would turn. When Jay popped up at the party, things got even murkier. Would Whit drink from his dangerous cocktail of stubble and tears, or would she obey her fairy godmother and cultivate a relationship with herself first? ‘It took me going away to realize that I really love you, Whit,’ whimpered a soggy Jay. Although his declaration came late, said Jay, ‘it’s better late than never.’

And that’s when the kicker came, courtesy of ex-wet-noodle Whitney: ‘It’s also too little, too late.’ Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner! And then, drunk on the self-respect that flooded her system with that bold declaration, Whitney tacked on this amazing kicker: ‘I just need to be on my own right now ... . I’m sorry, Jay. I’m sorry.’ Sound familiar? That’s exactly what Jay told Whitney last week.

Looks like this ‘City’ isn’t going to swallow Whitney up after all!

— Stephanie Lysaght