‘United States of Tara’: Five creepiest moments

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The Hell House episode hath arrived. Who is a better alter to witness the circles of hell but Alice?

After stalking Dr. Ocean to get an appointment while Tara is still herself, Max caves and confides in his wife that another alter may have appeared, and, perhaps more disturbing in a marriage, that he’s been talking to Tara’s doctor behind her back. ‘It’s animalistic, pure id, I guess,’ Max tells Tara. ‘You’re making me sound like an evil, rabid squirrel or something,’ she replies. Time to transition into Alice, who likes to come out when damage control and modulated tones are required.

While Hell House was definitely creeptastic in its over-the-top portrayal of the church’s scare tactics for teens (did we really need to see the abortion table?), there were other, more subtle creepy moments to this episode. Here’s a top five list of the best:

5. Watching Alice try to pee on command to take a pregnancy test to prove that, despite Tara’s IUD, she is ‘with child.’

4. Kate canned for her ‘general lack of glee’ after she dumped her manager, Gene.

3. ‘The Others’ no longer referring to Richard Alpert’s indigenous people on ‘Lost,’ but to Alice’s ‘charges’ inside Tara.

2. Gene’s DVD knock-and-drop delivery of a creepy poem telling Kate she has her job back with the next after-school shift. I was sure we’d see him in the window, watching Kate watch the DVD.

1. ‘Please excuse us, Jesus.’ Alice raising her voice to Max, in church! after asking Jesus (played by Paulie) to bless her faux-baby. ‘You’ve gone and brought Gimmie out. You have no idea, no idea, what you’re dealing with.’

Shiver. Can Gimmie really be bad enough to upset Alice to raise her dulcet tones to a threat?

What was your creepiest moment of the show?

-- Rebecca Snavely