'The Real World': Ryan Conklin talks about getting called back to Iraq

"The Real World: Brooklyn's" Ryan Conklin is only 23, but he's preparing to serve his second tour of duty in Iraq. He first enlisted after 9/11, when he was just 17, and several times since has narrowly escaped with his life. He also experienced the death of a close friend.

On tonight's episode, Conklin will get the call back into action, which he describes as devastating. (He's scheduled to go back on April 15.) Last week, he phoned in from Camp Shelby, Miss., where he's training with other military members of the Individual Ready Reserve, to explain how he's adjusted to the unexpected situation and why he feels lucky to have been selected to be on the umpteenth iteration of an MTV reality show.

What have you been doing since being called back?
We’re training, actually, it's re-training for all the IRR guys who’ve been out of the Army for a few years. We’re just running through weapons systems, shooting weapons, getting back into the mode, taking classes, just trying to remember everything. They’re having to teach us new things because a lot has changed. We’re working seven days a week, trying to get last-minute training in.

What went through your mind when you found out that you would be going back to Iraq? During the season, you said several times you hoped this wouldn’t happen.
It sucked. When I got the call, I was playing pool with Scott. I remember picking up the phone and someone started asking me how the Veterans Day parade was. At first I didn’t even recognize who it was, but it was my brother. He just sounded so down in the dumps, I had never heard him like that! He told me he got the letter I'd been dreading and everything just changed. My mind was going a mile a minute. Everything disappeared, Scott, the cameras, I was just absorbed in that phone call. At first I wanted so bad for my brother to say he was joking, but he wasn’t. 

Did the cameras back off?
Man, I would have loved to have that. But they’re there all the time and that was near the end of my experience so I knew the rules. Cameras are there, but I was in such a daze, I didn’t even see them. When I watched the episode you’ll see tonight for the first time it was like watching someone else. I didn’t really remember any of that. My mind was racing so fast.

What were your roommates' reactions?
I didn’t tell them immediately. I needed to process. There were a million questions: What the hell is going on with my life? Am I ready? Can I do it? Where am I going? What’s it like over there? How’s my family going to take it? How am I going to break it to my girlfriend? I also thought about how my roommates were going to take it. I didn't want to bum them out for the rest of the time we were there. It was near the end [of our time] and everyone was doing good things and pursuing their own careers. I didn’t want to bring the tone down. I just had to come to terms with it for myself first, and if anything, I wanted to appreciate the rest of the time even more. So I put up a good front and I tried to stay my own immature, crazy self, but it wasn’t that easy. You’ll see when I tell the roommates, each approach was different. I figured out what was best for each of them.

When you were selected to be on "The Real World," did you know you wanted to talk about your experiences in the Army?
First, I was stoked. I couldn’t believe they picked me. It sounded like the easiest job in the world; all I would have to do is be me. Then I thought I was in a good spot. I could focus on some real bigger issues at hand, such as veterans. I wasn’t a big political advocate in my day, but if I could share some experiences and turn some people, educate them in an easy, fun way, if they could get to know me and listen to me, that’s a platform I was willing to take. I had no problem exposing anything about me.

On the show, you seemed very opinionated about the war. What are you hoping viewers take away from watching you?
I wanted  people to know that even though, yes, I was in the military, and yes, I was a front-line infantryman, I turned out alright. You can go and do things over there and see things you wouldn’t want other people to see, but you can turn out alright. That’s why I didn’t bring up being in the Army at first. I wanted my housemates to get to know me for me. In turn, I wanted viewers to see that first and then go, "Oh, he also served in the Army and in Iraq and was an infantryman." The demographic for "The Real World," I wanted them to see that it’s not only our demographic, it’s our generation over there serving. When I was first in Iraq, I wasn’t even old enough to drink in America. This many years into the war, I wanted people to remember, especially younger people, that it’s us over there. It’s been five years and I’m sick of seeing news about celebrities going to rehab or Angelina adopting a new baby, and oh, by the way, two soldiers died in Iraq today. I wanted people to wake up because people forget.

You were 17 when you enlisted. Knowing what you know now, would you do anything differently?
I don’t live with regrets. I believe everything happens for a reason. If I could go back in time, I’d do the exact same thing because the Army molded me the way I am. If I’d never joined the Army, I would  probably have gone to college, I’d probably be sitting at a desk and there would be millions of people that would never have heard of me. I wouldn’t have the same message that I do now.

In one episode, you told your roommates, “We’re not the world’s Army. We need to stop fighting for other countries.” How do you feel about having to go back to Iraq?
I still feel the same way. Obviously, America’s got plenty of problems on its own, whether it’s economy or the borders or other issues. I know we’re a superpower and that’s always been in our history. But, and this is strictly just my opinion, I don’t speak for others, I’m from Gettysburg and we have plenty of Civil War monuments and when this country had its civil war … I’m not saying Iraq’s having a civil war, but other countries stay out of our business when we’re having problems.

You’re older now. Are you doing anything differently to prepare yourself mentally?
I’m more focused. I’m going to a unit where there’s going to be people who have not deployed. I’ve always wanted to be a teacher, I’m from a household of teachers, so it’s no problem passing on my knowledge if it’s going to help someone else. If I see someone doing something wrong, I’ll speak up more. This time around, I’m not doing it for the career -- I got out for a reason. I’m here to serve my time. I’m going to make sure I make it back and I’m going to make sure everyone around me makes it back.

How satisfied are you with how you’ve been portrayed on "The Real World"?
I’m actually very happy. What they have is what happened. I was me. I’m glad they showed the good sides and bad sides of me because I’m human and I know I make mistakes. I was very happy with the episode you’re going to see tonight. They really showed a lot of things I got involved in with the veterans. A lot of people in the house were very supportive and inquisitive about it. It’s my favorite episode, even though the last part is kind of dismal. But this is real. Getting called back is a part of this war that I guarantee that people aren’t aware of or aren’t thinking about.

-- Denise Martin

Photo credit: MTV

Comments

[M.J.]

Ryan, I am a 35 yr old woman, married with a 1 yr old son. I was overwhelmed with tears after watching last nights episode of real world. My heart aches for your family, girlfriend and most of all the toll that your recent tour has already taken on you. You are brave and I honor you along with the many others who have and are serving... Your story has touched me in a way that words cannot even describe... I will not forget! Thank you!

[Jeff]

How is Ryan liking his Obama decision now? Real great choice in electing a person that goes back on everything he promised during the campaign. I laughed when Ryan got the call thinking about how he said "not going back to Iraq now" after Obama was elected. Hopefully he gets smarter before he goes back to Iraq.

[MaryBeth]

Ryan,
I watched the show last night and I must say it really touched me. My son has joined the army and it has been a tough road emotionally. As a Mom, I am proud that he feels the need to stand up for our country but I worry for his safety. When you got upset during last night's episode and said how can I do this to my Mom and Dad again it made me cry. You're an amazing young man. You're parents, family and friends should be very proud of you. I'll be certain to remember you, your brother and your two cousins in my prayers. Good luck and be safe!

[joe]

mature, smart, brave. be safe.

[SGT Hernandez]

Ryan,

Thanks for being on the Real World this season. You are the main reason I tune to MTV Wednesday nights. I know how you're feeling...I deployed to Baghdad during Operation Iraqi Freedom 2 and those events made me appreciate life much more. Will you please post your unit's mailing address on your Myspace page. I'd love to follow your deployment progress and would like to send come care packages for you and your unit. Please keep all of us posted. Godspeed-

*Keep your head low*

Rebecca aka "SGT Hernandez"

[Bryan]

Thanks to everyone who voted for Obama, since hes doing what he said he would and all by getting everyone out of iraq........ righhhhhhhhhhhhhht.

[Erin]

I love you Ryan! You are such a great guy!! Be safe and thank you for serving our country.

[Brittany]

Ryan, I am sorry to hear you have to go back. My thoughts and prayers will be with you! Everything truly does happen for a reason and have faith while you are over there! You are truly a great person and thank you so much for fighting for our freedom!! God bless you and the USA!

[Angela]

Hi Ryan,
I hope you read this, and I hope you find some comfort in knowing that people across America will be praying for you. My brother was killed in Iraq while serving on his third tour over there with the 3rd ID. As a civilian I know I will never fully understand what you went through and will go through over there, but I have some idea what your family is going through so I will keep them in my prayers as well. I know people say "thank you" to soldiers quite often, and sometimes I wonder if it rings hollow. People thanked me all the time after my brother was killed and I just wanted to scream "you're not welcome, I didn't choose this, I want him back!" That said, I do hope you can accept my sincere appreciation. I appreciate that although you (and many many of the soldiers I know) do not necessarily agree with this war or want to go to Iraq, you are risking your life because your country asked you to. To me, that's a true hero.
God bless you,
Angela

[mandi mccarty]

Ryan,
There's nothing I can say that hasn't already been said. I was heartbroken to see that you really had to go back. You and all of your brothers and sisters fighting for all of us, will be in my prayers everyday until you're home safe to your families. Gotta admit, I had a crush on you from the very first episode:) Belle is a very lucky girl. You are truly an amazing person, and I'm so happy they picked you to tell your story on "The Real World" this season. Hang in there and always keep being you, I'd love to be just 1/2 the person you are. I wish you the best of luck, and please let us know how you're doing. Never put the camera down, you've got thousands, who have enjoyed every minute of your story, because it's so real, with the most genuine guy behind it! Never stop telling your story!! Be ready, alert, and safe, I won't stop praying for your safe return home.

[Melissa]

the episode made me cry, i hope for the best for you and I hope that soon all of you will be home for good. Thank you for your message, you have touched many lives

[Lovett]

I love you Ryan! Remember it is ok to be afraid. Please come home safe!!
Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear. ~Ambrose Redmoon
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear. Except a creature be part coward it is not a compliment to say it is brave. ~Mark Twain, Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar, 1894

[samantha]

i think u r amazing

[Tina]

Ryan has made this one of the better seasons of the RW. This is one of the first seasons were the people are focused on more than getting drunk and hooking up. I was glad to see Ryan openly deal with his PTSD and bring attention to veteran's issues for a younger generation. My brother has been deployed a couple times & my mom nearly passed out when she heard he was being deployed the first time so the episode was hard to watch.

Thank you Ryan for being so open. I am glad to know that you will be there for the newly deployed. May the angels be with all of you.

[Nuala]

You are by far the most real character on this show, and your message resonates with the emotions of so many. May God be with you during your recall.

[Angela]

I was shocked, offended and embarrassed by Ryan's anti-American statements in last night's episode. How can you criticize the good we're doing in Iraq one day and regret your time in service, and then march in a Veteran's Parade the next?

[Jennifer]

What a great guy. We owe everything to these folks that are fighting for freedom. Thank you Ryan & everyone that has devoted their life and services to this country.

[Karen]

Ryan,
May God Bless you and watch over you and every soldier that serves this country. You are an inspiration to me and I will think of you daily and keep you in my heart.
Thank you for being a role model and for being such a brave young man.
With love,
Karen

[Natasha]

Dear Ryan,
As many have told you I have a new found respect for what you are doing and for what all the soldiers have done for us. Thank you for allowing MTV to put your story out there as it has hit many people. I feel truly blessed to have watched your story. My heart is breaking for you but I dont think you need that. You need support, encouragement, and to know you are respected. Thankyou for opening my eyes!

[Rend]

Ryan you are so brave. I was so impressed about how you were facing something so frightening but you were too busy thinking about how everyone else was going to feel. Now that's a HERO. That's a soldier. Just like when you joined the army you were thinking of Americans and not your self.I am a Christian American Citizen that was born in Iraq and I can't thank you for your selfless nature enough!! - I pray for your safe return. God bless you.