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‘The City’: Let ‘em have sex and eat cake

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As someone who just moved to New York, I can only pray that the men in the city are not really as heinous as the men in ‘The City.’ Think about it. The only decent fellow captured by MTV’s cameras all season was Erin’s elfin beau, and he did not live in New York! He was just visiting.

Whitney Port’s boyfriend, Jay, is pretty much as bad as it gets. Cheating on your girlfriend is unforgivable, clearly, but Jay took infidelity to a new low in last Monday’s episode -- ‘Fool Me Twice, Shame On Me’ -- when he insisted on moving in with Whitney, and then went out in search of another woman.

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It didn’t take him long to find one. Minutes after running into his ex, Danielle, at a club, Jay had convinced the ‘dumpling’ to leave with him. ‘Are you ready to get out of here?’ He inquired. ‘Of course,’ she replied.

Jay was not the only one to take advantage of Whitney in Monday’s eppy. Pocket-nemesis Olivia also taught our golden girl a lesson in trusting too soon by taking credit for Whitney’s work on the Jessica Alba Elle cover.

Not only did Olivia fail to correct her bosses when they assumed she had ‘spearheaded the project,’ but she even strutted through the DVF luncheon chirping, ‘I pulled that look!’

Now that Olivia has revealed the full scope of her evil, Whitney has choices. She can confront her dodgy co-worker, confront her bosses, try to beat Olivia at her own game, or make her eyes really big and look solemn. Which one do you think she will pick?

And now, a word about brunch. Every episode, Whitney, Erin and Allie congregate at trendy eateries around the city to debrief, giggle and sulk. It doesn’t take a TV scholar to see that MTV is going for the ‘Sex and the City’ vibe with these calorie-laden gab-fests. So why, when the ‘SATC’ brunches were so savory, are ‘The City’ suppers so flavorless? Easy. They are missing the two main ingredients that made ‘SATC’ meals so delectable: Food and sex.

In Monday’s episode, Whit and Allie entered a salivation-inducing bakery, complete with multilayer cakes with inch-high icing and Frisbee-sized cookies. So why did out heroines merely sip coffee? Couldn’t they at least pretend to eat?

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And as for the peculiar dearth of sex, I challenge you to find a more prudish group of twentysomething New York women. Over cocktails and dinner (which we never saw eaten), Whit dished about her waning love life by saying, ‘The whole intimate part of the relationship is just … where has the passion gone?’ This was the first indication we have had all season that our leading lady even has sex! But she must, right? She certainly must do more than work and weep. So please, MTV, let ‘em eat cake. And have sex. Before we viewers die of boredom.

Till next time,

-- Stephanie Lysaght

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