‘The Chopping Block’: Good grief, contain yourself!

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We know this much about Marco Pierre White: He does not suffer fools gladly.

Some reality TV shows might keep someone like the abrasive Panya around for at least one more week -- that woman could argue with someone who bid her to have a nice day. In other words, she made for good TV, what with thinking that everyone was conspiring against her at every turn and stealing her ideas. Moreover, her husband, Michael, showed immense promise. He was a calm and steady hand in the kitchen. And his cooking impressed M.P.W. from day one.

But no matter: ‘Michael, Panya -- go home.’

Panya, who is probably feeling pretty bad for submarining her husband, noted: ‘Maybe I need to shut up sometimes.’

Ya think?

As M.P.W. put it, ‘contain your emotions.’

We also learned this about M.P.W. -- he may not suffer fools, but he certainly suffers characters. Did you get a load of that Central Park loon? (The guy, not the bird.) The expert took the contestants for a tour of all things edible in Central Park, and the contestants then had to use those ingredients at the challenge -- and then at the next dinner service.

The red team started out the challenge by trying to fillet a carp, and then had to double back to another fish when they realized they didn’t have a pair of pincers handy to remove the bones. M.P.W. dinged them for this and handed victory to the black team. (Unless I missed it, he never said how the red team’s fish tasted, and the decision to give it to the black team based upon their fishy regrouping seemed a little unfair.)

BTW, did you note how M.P.W. scolded the black team for referred to the ‘herbs’ seasoning their dish, instead of describing it more accurately as being seasoned with ‘thyme.’ Seconds later, though, M.P.W. turned around and complimented them on the ‘herbs’ seasoning their dish. But then, who is going to talk back to M.P.W., whom one contestant described as circling his wards like a great white shark circles its prey.

True that!

Speaking of scolding. Dang! What a smack-down delivered to Zan, who was enjoying his bad self when guest judges Nina and Tim Zagat of Zagat guide fame delivered the dining card results and said that several diners noted that Zan was kinda cute.

‘Contain yourself!’ M.P.W. rebuked.

And Zan did just that.

--Rene Lynch

Photo credit: NBC Universal