'The Bachelor's' Jason Mesnick: 'Everyone thinks I’m dragging Melissa over the coals'

It’s going to be a rough week for “The Bachelor’s” Jason Mesnick.

On Monday night, rampant online rumors concerning the show’s twist ending –- one that would potentially brand Mesnick a cad -– were confirmed when he retracted his proposal to Melissa Rycroft, delivered in the last moments of the finale, in favor of the runner-up, Molly Malaney.

What’s worse for Mesnick –- but good for ABC -– is that more than 17.6 million tuned in to watch Melissa get the shaft on the “After the Final Rose” special, making it the most-watched in the franchise’s seven-year history.

Jimmy Kimmel kicked off the roast early. “Is your arm sore from handing out and taking back roses?” he asked.

In an interview with The Times on Tuesday afternoon, Mesnick explained that he had, in fact, ended his relationship with Rycroft on the phone a week before the taping. “If you watched carefully, she wasn’t wearing her ring,” he said.

Either way, the jilted Rycroft seems quite unhappy, and though she might have been able to turn her sympathetic position into even more camera time as the next “Bachelorette,” ABC confirmed that second runner-up Jillian Harris would wear that mantle.

But back to Mesnick. While “The Bachelor” has been at the center of controversy before -- Season 11’s Brad Womack, for instance, rejected all of his options and was booed by the audience throughout his “After the Final Rose” -- but dumping a girl you just proposed to on national TV? Mesnick better have his flak jacket ready. Here he goes:

Was there any discussion between you and Melissa about how this might play out on TV since you say you had ended things on the phone beforehand?
No. Her response had been, “How do you want me to react to that?” I wasn’t going to coach her. I just told her that we were going to talk about things again [on the show] and however she felt is how she was going to react. I’m never going to tell anyone what to say.
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Are you surprised by the backlash against you?
I don’t know if the public expected me to just pretend like I’m in a good happy relationship. I mean, is that what people really wanted to see? Because that was the other option, but never a real option for me. It sucks that everyone thinks I’m dragging Melissa over the coals right in front of everybody because it’s not true. What’s funny is that everybody loves the fact that I break up with somebody every week in the regular part of the show ... and now I'm being judged.

Why ultimately didn’t you ask Molly to marry you the first time?
What scared me the most about Molly is that we had this young, fun, friendship relationship with a lot of passion, and people who have been together for a long time all say, "The passion is the first thing to go." In my regular everyday life I wouldn’t have stopped dating any one of [the final three]. I would have gone and tried to experience more with each of them.

At what point did you change your mind about Melissa? What was the turning point?
It was right after the holidays. We spent a week together during Christmas and I felt differently. She didn’t do anything wrong, but we had this great communication style where we could talk about anything while we were on the show, and then all of a sudden we’re together for longer periods of time afterwards and we just couldn’t talk about stuff. ... I was realizing that we didn’t have a great friendship, and that was hard for me to face.

Why did you go on a TV show to find love in front of millions? Why not just use match.com?
It sounded like the ultimate dating experience. I mean, if they’re going to go across the country and find 25 great matches -– if you’re going to talk about match.com –- it’s better than that! It’s very unique.

What do you think your 4-year-old son, Ty, who met both Melissa and Molly, will learn about how to treat women from watching “The Bachelor”?
I don’t know. I think that I want him to look at me and just say, "My daddy had this crazy experience and it’s OK to do some things differently from other people. It’s OK that relationships don’t work because that’s part of real life." I want him to see how real it was and how hard it was for me and that how much all that pain was worth it in the end.

Would you advise he find love the same way?
Would I recommend for Ty to do this? I hope Ty would be the type of person to think about doing something different, absolutely. I wouldn’t say necessarily a TV show.

-- Denise Martin

Photo: Associated Press

Comments

[Dogloverdeb]

The fault is with ABC - not Jason. 6 weeks is way too short a time to find your soulmate. The show should be over at least a 3 month time period to start off with.Every show should cover a 2-3 week time period. Jason really did not have enough alone time with Melissa until after the proposal. There has to be a reason that others dumped Melissa before. I guess he found he could not spend the rest of his life with Melissa after spending time with her during the holiday period (and by the way, he is Jewish, so hopefully he celebrated his own holiday). When Jason's parents met the 2 women, it seemed that they liked Molly better. Even the sister-in-law said nice things about Molly and nothing about Melissa. Good luck Jason-I wish you and Molly (and Ty) only the best in life. The expression on your face and your eyes with Molly on "After the Final Rose" Part 2 shows how much you love her.

[Trish]

Jason is a sociopath, he such a drama queen. I never seen anyone cry at the drop of the hat like him. I bet he stepped on a bug he cry...He needs to man up...He is definitely not all that-- He is kinda homely...One of the comments someone made is that he looks like pewee herman ya I see it... He always said- I want to be happy like the world needs to make him oh so happy...You are not even special get a grip Jason...May be you need professional to help you sort out the world because you are just so crazy... now what you really need is a blow up doll of yourself so you can make out with it..Weirdo!!!!!!

[Frank Newman]

Jason is an absolute dip and if Molly hasn't run yet, too bad for her.

[Peter]

People who go on The Bachelor, with full knowledge of past seasons, ought not to be surprised by anything that happens==whether before or after the final rose.

[Jennifer]

I can't get over the fact that people seem to want Jason to stay in a relationship that was not right. Would you all rather he had married Melissa, started a family, then divorced? I'm glad he realized his mistake before it was too late. I wish Jason and Molly all the best, and I hope they live a long and happy life together. All you haters should wish them the same thing. Remember, negativity attracts negativity...be happy for them!

[Julie]

Frank, Megan, et al, your reading comprehension and general understanding of the situation leave a lot to be desired. People aren't saying that Jason should NOT have broken up with Melissa and that he should be continuing on with that relationship. I don't think anyone agrees that he should have stayed with her if he weren't in love with her. The salient points are that (a) he should not have picked Melissa to begin with if he were so in love with Molly and (b) he should have definitively broken up with Melissa before the show with no equivocation, rather than saying they needed to "talk" on the show and that maybe things weren't going well. He is a complete hypocrite. He was so "hurt" by Deanna and couldn't get over the fact that she "let him" get down on one knee, yet he behaved even worse toward Melissa. And anyone with any observational skills whatsoever could see through his acting (i.e., fake crying at optimal times, etc.). And who would start sucking face with (Molly) moments after he'd broken up with Melissa, on national TV? He didn't even have the decency to wait until they were off camera. Seriously? So, those are the problems. No, he shouldn't have stayed with Melissa. And he never should have asked her to marry him in the first place. Do you understand that?

[paddyoski]

I'm impressed but not at all surprised at the angry, judging, rock-throwing women, lugging their train cars of emotional baggage as they ride Jason out of town on a rail. The angry men are even more amusing, if not pathetic. Jason and Melissa were obviously already broken-up when the final drama occurred. Notice the ring was off the finger? Notice that they barely embraced? Try to pay attention, people. In addition to that, the whole Bachelor(ette) situation is spring-loaded for disaster. Anyone who's successfully searched for a mate knows that intense, simultaneous dating is a BAD idea. It makes for great TV, but as we saw (in the compressed, edited, surreal "reality"), it doesn't seem to be a good way to end up married.

As for the innocent women whose pain has been exploited for all of us to consume (and redirect misguided anger towards)? They signed up for this! Get over it already. Jason could have taken the easy way out and played along until the final taping was over, broke it off with Melissa and then taken his shot with Molly. As for his young son, he had a play date with a couple of nice ladies (I'm sure he spent a lot more quality time with the production staff). That's not traumatic. It's not like the "cad," shacked-up with either of the final two, created a family situation where a little boy would seriously bond with the new woman, and then wrench her from his life in say a year or two. The dude made the right call. Obviously there was something different/missing with Melissa in regular life. He never blamed her for it. Blame the premise of the show if you have to. Blame yourself for having an inappropriate emotional attachment to the outcome of a TV show.

Melissa (and her undying blog-army of supporters) whined that he didn't fight for their relationship. Fight? Who fights at the beginning of love? It's all sunshine and rainbows. If the chemistry/comfort died when it wasn't super-heated by the wine, helicopters and exotic locales, then that's your reality check. Jason seems to be the only guy willing to face that reality.

My wife's reaction? "See? He should have gone with Molly in the first place."

So for those of you in the angry mob, you might want to reflect on the tendency to point out in others, that which we dislike about ourselves.

[Larry Parker]

The Bachelor, while called a reality show, is as scripted and edited as any soap opera or evening drama show. In this particular case, Mike Fleiss, the creator of The Bachelor, deliberately asked Jason to choose his second favorite girl. Jason agreed,knowing in advance that he would soon break up with Melissa, and choose Molly on TV, all for the purpose of higher TV ratings. Go to realitysteve.com and you can read all sorts of inside information that explains everything.

[doby3]

I thought the funniest part of the whole thing was before Molly stepped into the limo after having been rejected by Jason that she stated something to the effect that Jason would get his heart broken again because Melissa would discover that they weren't right together and Melissa would break it off!

[Happily Married for Years]

What I can't understand is how his family was so concerned about him being hurt again and then to watch him publically humiliate this young woman on television. Molly, should have questioned this and not seem so desparate for a man. I feel that he will not marry her or anyone for that matter. He is all about himself. Melissa should not have been put through this on television. The show just might lose viewers. And, another thing - he needs to have a jacket that fits him. As someone has mentioned, he did look like Pee Wee Herman.

[SanDiegoGrl]

Jason does what is good for Jason and that is not what love is. He seems like a pathological liar too. The sooner Melissa found out the better. I found out after 2 years. After I told my bf Larry I got laid off from my executive position because of the economy, within days he started seeing a woman (also named Melissa) from work and his pool team, and I caught her at his house at 11 pm - he lied to her in front of me that we broke up. There are just people like Jason, and he will never get it.

[Lavern White]

I feel sorry for Melissa, but I think Jason did the right thing by following him heart it may sound crazy to most people but you should alway follow your inter feeling. Melissa is a great person and Jason felt the same way he had great respect for her and care for her, but his feeling were greater for Molly. I myself like Melissa have been hurt in relationships so I know what it feels like to get hurt,but if Jason would have continue this with her and knowing how he felt about Molly he woul have hurt her more in the long run.

[lyz]

That's ridiculous and he knows it. He didn't "change his mind" b/c he didn't want Melissa in the first place. He wanted to be with Molly, but he sold his integrity to the producers. He went from being the most loved Bachelor to the most despised. And Molly.....well, she's right there with him. They deserve each other, but unfortunately they won't last. They'll move on to taint others with their lying ways.

[Jason Is Clueless & Classless]

"I don’t know if the public expected me to just pretend like I’m in a good happy relationship. What’s funny is that everybody loves the fact that I break up with somebody every week in the regular part of the show ... and now I'm being judged."
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OMG, is this guy for REAL???? He doesn't see that NO ONE expects him to stay in a relationship he doesn't want to be in. BUT--he PROPOSED for God's sake! He couldn't WAIT to spend the REST of his LIFE with Melissa, per his own words! What a child! Dismissing a woman every week during the course of the show is FAR different than reneging on an engagement on television & then springing it on her that he wants the LOSER in the process. Making out with the LOSER, Molly "The Slut" Malaney minutes after dumping Melissa was beyong trashy & classless. I think this guy has mental problems, I really do.

[LJohnson]

JASON: You knew that Rycroft had i ssues with relationships in the pass. I think it was low down to do that on National TV for everyone to see. ALL RELATIONSHIPS TAKE TIME perhaps she was pre mentual, one week does not tell how a person is.

I think you are to sensative for a MALES ROLE in life. You stole Rycroft role on the show you are definitely on you FEMALE side.

CRYING LIKE A BITCH. you need to stop it and B A MAN!

[one]

Jason is a Bastard, Idiot . I curse him for all the unhappiness in life

[Frankers]

Isn't it obvious?! Molly and Jason were talking before the 1st After the Rose...and she wanted redemption! She wanted Melissa to be dumped on national television just like she had been. If Jason was going to have a chance with Molly, he had to go through with the public humiliation to "prove" his sincerity to Molly. That's it...no doubt about it!

[PhineasBoggs]

Enough. I won't watch any "fictionality" shows again. I am neither intrigued nor amused. I feel this should be the end of this disgusting genre. This was Serial Degradation!

Fleiss might have thought this was clever, but, although it brought ratings and publicity (just spell his and Mesnick's name right) I do hope this is the death knell of The Bachelor.

Melissa and the public were all screwed over by the producers and Mesnick. They all deserve a special place in hell. I now think of all of them--INCLUDING Mesnick, as pond-scum-sucking creeps who prey on unsuspecting people.

[Edwin]

Isn't anyone curious about Jason's ex-wife? Also, what does he do for a living? The parallels between Jason and the bachelorette who dumped him, Deanna, are striking. They both opted for a "fun and games" partner over the "normal, reasonable, mainstream partner" and then dumped "fun and games" to try to go back to "normal". Of course none of this can be normal under the glare of television lighting. Fun and games could last for quite a while if a TV Network is paying all the expenses.

So when are we going to get the scoop on Jason's ex wife? Is the Enquirer going to do it or will the TV Show do it first? I suspect that there are ugly details surrounding the ex-wife and how Jason wound up with custody of their son. The women who watch the show probably don't even want to know the sordid details. Anyway, it's just a television show and not real life after all.

[annette]

time will tell how things will work out for jason and molly but the odds are really stacked against them. i would not want to be in their shoes for anything. be careful what you wish for it may come back to bite you in the butt. i personnally really liked melissa over molly. to me she has integrity to stay out of the limelight and to have refushed to be the next bachelorette. she seems like the type of ;erson i would want to be friends with. i find it sad that it did not work out but i do think she will eventually find the person that is right for her. you have my support mellissa.