'The Bachelor's' Jason Mesnick: 'Everyone thinks I’m dragging Melissa over the coals'

It’s going to be a rough week for “The Bachelor’s” Jason Mesnick.

On Monday night, rampant online rumors concerning the show’s twist ending –- one that would potentially brand Mesnick a cad -– were confirmed when he retracted his proposal to Melissa Rycroft, delivered in the last moments of the finale, in favor of the runner-up, Molly Malaney.

What’s worse for Mesnick –- but good for ABC -– is that more than 17.6 million tuned in to watch Melissa get the shaft on the “After the Final Rose” special, making it the most-watched in the franchise’s seven-year history.

Jimmy Kimmel kicked off the roast early. “Is your arm sore from handing out and taking back roses?” he asked.

In an interview with The Times on Tuesday afternoon, Mesnick explained that he had, in fact, ended his relationship with Rycroft on the phone a week before the taping. “If you watched carefully, she wasn’t wearing her ring,” he said.

Either way, the jilted Rycroft seems quite unhappy, and though she might have been able to turn her sympathetic position into even more camera time as the next “Bachelorette,” ABC confirmed that second runner-up Jillian Harris would wear that mantle.

But back to Mesnick. While “The Bachelor” has been at the center of controversy before -- Season 11’s Brad Womack, for instance, rejected all of his options and was booed by the audience throughout his “After the Final Rose” -- but dumping a girl you just proposed to on national TV? Mesnick better have his flak jacket ready. Here he goes:

Was there any discussion between you and Melissa about how this might play out on TV since you say you had ended things on the phone beforehand?
No. Her response had been, “How do you want me to react to that?” I wasn’t going to coach her. I just told her that we were going to talk about things again [on the show] and however she felt is how she was going to react. I’m never going to tell anyone what to say.
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Are you surprised by the backlash against you?
I don’t know if the public expected me to just pretend like I’m in a good happy relationship. I mean, is that what people really wanted to see? Because that was the other option, but never a real option for me. It sucks that everyone thinks I’m dragging Melissa over the coals right in front of everybody because it’s not true. What’s funny is that everybody loves the fact that I break up with somebody every week in the regular part of the show ... and now I'm being judged.

Why ultimately didn’t you ask Molly to marry you the first time?
What scared me the most about Molly is that we had this young, fun, friendship relationship with a lot of passion, and people who have been together for a long time all say, "The passion is the first thing to go." In my regular everyday life I wouldn’t have stopped dating any one of [the final three]. I would have gone and tried to experience more with each of them.

At what point did you change your mind about Melissa? What was the turning point?
It was right after the holidays. We spent a week together during Christmas and I felt differently. She didn’t do anything wrong, but we had this great communication style where we could talk about anything while we were on the show, and then all of a sudden we’re together for longer periods of time afterwards and we just couldn’t talk about stuff. ... I was realizing that we didn’t have a great friendship, and that was hard for me to face.

Why did you go on a TV show to find love in front of millions? Why not just use match.com?
It sounded like the ultimate dating experience. I mean, if they’re going to go across the country and find 25 great matches -– if you’re going to talk about match.com –- it’s better than that! It’s very unique.

What do you think your 4-year-old son, Ty, who met both Melissa and Molly, will learn about how to treat women from watching “The Bachelor”?
I don’t know. I think that I want him to look at me and just say, "My daddy had this crazy experience and it’s OK to do some things differently from other people. It’s OK that relationships don’t work because that’s part of real life." I want him to see how real it was and how hard it was for me and that how much all that pain was worth it in the end.

Would you advise he find love the same way?
Would I recommend for Ty to do this? I hope Ty would be the type of person to think about doing something different, absolutely. I wouldn’t say necessarily a TV show.

-- Denise Martin

Photo: Associated Press

Comments

[Charlotte Conner]

Enjoyed this last Bachelor segment. I could see Jason and Molly falling in love over the weeks. They both lit up whenever they saw each other. I think Jason loved the way Melissa loved him, like the song says. She was sweet, motherly, always agreeable, and would have blended herself into Jason with anything he would want. I believe that Deanna's visit and what she said about not to use his heart, but to use his head to guide his heart--threw him off. After she left I said he'll chose Melissa because he won't follow his heart now. His Mother said to him on his last visit before he chose; "Follow your heart". When he had time to be wilth Melissa he found that his heart was really wilth Molly, and if he broke it off now there still might be a chance wilth Molly. He also said if she didn't want to try again he was all right wilth that, as it wasn't fair to Melisssa not to love her the way she deserved to be loved. Molly still loved him so it was a fairy tale come true to her. I wish them a happy future together.

[Gaby]

Ok so from the second he said 'no' to Molly and started with that sob fest, all I could think of was you are in denial that you are homosexual. In no way is that bad, but c'mon! Truly pathetic. I tuned in for that portion and changed the channel afterwards. I have seen any other part of it just been following it in the Entertainment column. I guess this really works for ABC. Let's see how long these two will last. This whole concept makes me pretty sad for all involved.

[Melissa]

I am so grossed out by this Jason cad! He clearly has no heart and is continuing the cycle that only he knows. Melissa should know that she is a beautiful women, inside and out and she deserves a "REAL MAN, " she needs to count her blessings that she didnt end up with that Jerk!!

Poor Molly, I just dont see how she can look past his actions! Its sad to say, but its bound to happen to her.

The sad thing about this whole situation, he got his son involved in the process and when his son gets older, he is going to think its ok to let women down and treat them as if they have no feelings!!! What a horrible father this man is.............................

[Sandra Decker]

Haha. Ya'll are ridiculous, it's just a show, I can't believe I even read this site (kind of by accident). It's TV. Reality? Seriously?? Reality is not found on TV. Get over it. Stop stressing, do something real, watch it for entertainment if you want, but that's all it is. Stop stressing, it's all good, go for a walk, bike ride, volunteer or something if you're bored, it will feel WAY better. Don't get sucked in.

[Kayla]

Jason should have never proposed to either of them in New Zealand. If he was THAT torn between two women, he never should have proposed to either of him. My very good friend's sister works with Molly and Molly and Jason HAD been talking QUITE regularly since the day he returned from New Zealand. He never gave his relationship with Melissa a chance. Melissa seemed like a MUCH nicer better person than Molly (I've heard choice phrases about her, from the beginning of this season, not just since the ugly end), and I think she ended up being the winner after all.

He should have never proposed, he should have never continued a relationship with Molly secretly, but given the fact that he did - He should have made SURE that Melissa was able to keep her dignity. He's a loser.

[Christine]

WOW!!!!!! You people are ruthless. Give them a break....If Jason preferred Molly over Melissa and figured that out so soon, you must know that something else happened. I give him credit for not exposing that personal stuff to the public. I think he has much more integrity than we can possibly know as NONE OF US HAVE BEEN IN THEIR situation. Melissa will go on to do good things and make $$ off of this just like anyone else. Jason and Molly will be happy....they deserve it after all the crap people are putting them through. Give it a break, people! It is a SHOW! It is not your lives. Why do we all think we can comment on a situation none of us have ever been through? I don't get it....

[rbk]

Everyone thinks you're dragging Melissa over the coals because did, you selfish, egotistical, cold-hearted cad. To drag your son into this is unforgiveable and the way you carried yourself pre and post final rose is dispicable.

LA Times asks: "Why did you go on a TV show to find love in front of millions?" Because the fame-whore wanted his 5 minutes of fame. Period. Now slink back to the hole you came from...

[JANINE]

JASON WHAT CAN I SAY?????YOU WHERE THE BIGGEST CRY BABY I EVER SEEN WAAWAAAWAHHHHH IM GLAD THE SHOW IS OVER BECAUSE IF I HAD TOO SEE YOU CRY ONE MORE TIME I WAS GOING TO THROW MY TV OUT THE WINDOW

[ophelia]

Where is his ex-wife?

[whattheeff]

Are you surprised by the backlash against you?
I don’t know if the public expected me to just pretend like I’m in a good happy relationship. I mean, is that what people really wanted to see?

Um....yes?

[Snow]

We know Jason is selfish, lost, not introspective and immature; however, what about Molly???? She's got to be a big loser, to be dumped, then take the guy back the "second" this guy dumps his FIANCEE....we are not even talking about a girlfriend! We are talking about FIANCEE...and then kiss that guy on national television????? MOLLY YOU ARE A LOSER TOO AND SO IS JASON...so I guess that makes you guys a perfect couple!

[Winifred]

Let's see Teri. The problem is, per her emails to him, he never gave her a proper reason for breaking up. I suspect she wanted closure. She asked him repeatedly when they were together whether their problems had to do with Molly. He lied and said no even though he had been speaking with Molly soon after the final rose was given out. She did not agree to come on television and learn that he was pursuing the runner up. This blind-side is what they wanted for ratings. And Jason is a jerk for falling into the trap. Again, I suggest you take a look at the emails between the two of them if you can't understand why he is a lying, weak, media loving, hurtful prick.

[Adele]

It looked to me like Molly wasn't surprised at all when Jason told her he had broken up with Melissa. My feeling is that he & Molly had been in contact with each other before the final rose episode aired. They both looked sheepish. Molly smiled all through the hilights of her part on the show. If she had been really broken up (like we were led to believe) wouldn't she have cried when seeing the happy times she had spent with Jason and knowing that she wouldn't have those times again. She didn't cry though. And she didn't seem upset at all on looking back at her time on the show. I don't buy for a minute that she & Jason saw each other for the first time that night since New Zealand. Liars both of them. Jason is the ultimate cad. I was never that crazy about him being on the show to begin with. No surprises that he didn't act like a man. He always seemed like a pansy. All that crap that his family said about how badly he had been hurt before. BOO HOO. Then he goes and achieves even new lows in the "cad's book on how to hurt women." I don't wish Molly any ill will. Living with Jason no matter how long (and I wouldn't be putting any bets on longevity here) will be penance enough.

[gail]

People I think are mad about how it was done. I think most people would agree it would have been terribly unfair to Mel if jason would have stayed with her if he really didn't love her, Because that would have kept her from find someone who could love her the way she deserves and someone she could love just as much in return. What makes him look like a cold hearted jerk is that he did this to her on tv for the world to see. If someone thinks that is fair then you have got problems. I don't wish jason or molly any ill will and I hope they go on to have a wonderful life together but who knows because i am a firm believer that when do something like they done with no regaurd to how it may effect another person, there is usally some ramafactions to your action. As for Mellisa I know you are going to be fine, I think you are made of stronger stuff than people give you credit for. And one day when you find your mister right you will look back on this and thank god that jason broke your heart and gave you the oppertunity .

[Steven Bell]

Let this be a lesson to women out there...single, recently divorced dads can be wolves in sheep's clothing. I was one too before I got remarried. We're brutal about cutting our losses. For a while we don't even like women (except physically) but feel entitled to a relationship because someone did us wrong. So we date, find or perceive some flaw or similarity with our ex, dump the woman and move on to the next one. Eventually most of us get better but in the meantime we're weapons of mass emotional destruction.

I'm just sorry that in this guys case, he went through his process on national TV.

I'm done watching the show too. The concept gives too much power to one partner or the other, but when the cameras go away, the one who was stuck in the position of having to compete (and isolated with only people of the same gender for weeks) would have to really be hurt by the images of someone, even in the regular part of the contest, being intimate with the other contestants and having such a hard time choosing.

[Frank]

If you really want some additional surprises go the US website and see the email exchanges that occrred between Jason and Melissa pre and post-after the rose show. It shows rather clearly Jason did let her know things were not working out. It was no surprise to Melissa that night and clearly she returned by choice, contract or money or all three. Producers are denying any role in Jason's revelation. And clearly from last night's show - he made a better choice. I would agree with one commenter that he should have said no at the final show to making a choice - he simply needed more reality time to make the choice. And I would agree, he did not need to propose but who knows what pressure they placed on him for the finale, too. Either way everyone ended up being a winner in the end. It is just all of us who seem to transfer our own experiences into this drama to elicit all this negative feelings - which is mostly from females more than males. Wonder why?

[LYDIA]

People respect yourselves and stop blaming jason,either is a true show or not,dont insult him.who wants to be in a relationship with everyday regretions,this is not sympathy,but folloe your heart we all make mistakes,so dont make this an extreme,the show was on T.V and we need to know,some people are horrible when it comes to character,maybe Mellisa waited till the proposal and the the true colors exposed,Jason has been hurt before,I agree with him not the second time,Molly be faithful love the child as you love Jason,wish you guys the best.No one can say anything negetive against you,it will not work for we all have flaws.I love you
Molly you have a good spirit,people can show your past forget them and look to what is ahead of you guys.invite me on your wedding day.shut your eyes from negetive words and close your eyes to see it,trash it and live your life,

[Louise]

I'm just wondering, What is Jason's profession? I couldn't find it anywhere.

[Cindy]

I watched the entire season and could not wait for him to choose Melissa, I loved her throughout the entire show and thought Molly was just a fake. She was fake in her actions, in the way she laughed, just fake. When she told Jason he'll regret not choosing her, I wanted to puke! Then, the crying by Jason, oh, geeze, get a grip, would you! I have never seen a man cry so much in my life. I hope Ty never gets a chance to see this when he gets older, he is going to think is dad is a woose!

[Dina]

You people that think Jason did nothing wrong and can't understand why people are angry...let me spell it out to you. It is not the fact that he changed his mind and wanted Molly, it is the fact that he said that he never stopped his feelings for her, cried like a baby and shortly after asked Melissa to marry him and spend the rest of their lives together. Well, come on. If he was confused and maybe could have been "in-love" with two women at the same time then all he had to do was tell Melissa he chose her but would like to have more time to get to know her before he committed to her. That would have been much more acceptable. He was not contactually obligated to ask someone to marry him. So, what HE chose to do was irresponsible, insensitive and cruel. He hurt Melissa and her family (thankfully they didn't go on the show), his son (by acting like a tool), and his family. I'm sure Molly's family isn't that happy either. I also don't get why Molly would want to come in as a second choice, oh yeah she was just hoping this dream (nightmare) would come true. I doubt very seriously that this will end in happily ever after.