'The Bachelor's' Jason Mesnick: 'Everyone thinks I’m dragging Melissa over the coals'

It’s going to be a rough week for “The Bachelor’s” Jason Mesnick.

On Monday night, rampant online rumors concerning the show’s twist ending –- one that would potentially brand Mesnick a cad -– were confirmed when he retracted his proposal to Melissa Rycroft, delivered in the last moments of the finale, in favor of the runner-up, Molly Malaney.

What’s worse for Mesnick –- but good for ABC -– is that more than 17.6 million tuned in to watch Melissa get the shaft on the “After the Final Rose” special, making it the most-watched in the franchise’s seven-year history.

Jimmy Kimmel kicked off the roast early. “Is your arm sore from handing out and taking back roses?” he asked.

In an interview with The Times on Tuesday afternoon, Mesnick explained that he had, in fact, ended his relationship with Rycroft on the phone a week before the taping. “If you watched carefully, she wasn’t wearing her ring,” he said.

Either way, the jilted Rycroft seems quite unhappy, and though she might have been able to turn her sympathetic position into even more camera time as the next “Bachelorette,” ABC confirmed that second runner-up Jillian Harris would wear that mantle.

But back to Mesnick. While “The Bachelor” has been at the center of controversy before -- Season 11’s Brad Womack, for instance, rejected all of his options and was booed by the audience throughout his “After the Final Rose” -- but dumping a girl you just proposed to on national TV? Mesnick better have his flak jacket ready. Here he goes:

Was there any discussion between you and Melissa about how this might play out on TV since you say you had ended things on the phone beforehand?
No. Her response had been, “How do you want me to react to that?” I wasn’t going to coach her. I just told her that we were going to talk about things again [on the show] and however she felt is how she was going to react. I’m never going to tell anyone what to say.
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Are you surprised by the backlash against you?
I don’t know if the public expected me to just pretend like I’m in a good happy relationship. I mean, is that what people really wanted to see? Because that was the other option, but never a real option for me. It sucks that everyone thinks I’m dragging Melissa over the coals right in front of everybody because it’s not true. What’s funny is that everybody loves the fact that I break up with somebody every week in the regular part of the show ... and now I'm being judged.

Why ultimately didn’t you ask Molly to marry you the first time?
What scared me the most about Molly is that we had this young, fun, friendship relationship with a lot of passion, and people who have been together for a long time all say, "The passion is the first thing to go." In my regular everyday life I wouldn’t have stopped dating any one of [the final three]. I would have gone and tried to experience more with each of them.

At what point did you change your mind about Melissa? What was the turning point?
It was right after the holidays. We spent a week together during Christmas and I felt differently. She didn’t do anything wrong, but we had this great communication style where we could talk about anything while we were on the show, and then all of a sudden we’re together for longer periods of time afterwards and we just couldn’t talk about stuff. ... I was realizing that we didn’t have a great friendship, and that was hard for me to face.

Why did you go on a TV show to find love in front of millions? Why not just use match.com?
It sounded like the ultimate dating experience. I mean, if they’re going to go across the country and find 25 great matches -– if you’re going to talk about match.com –- it’s better than that! It’s very unique.

What do you think your 4-year-old son, Ty, who met both Melissa and Molly, will learn about how to treat women from watching “The Bachelor”?
I don’t know. I think that I want him to look at me and just say, "My daddy had this crazy experience and it’s OK to do some things differently from other people. It’s OK that relationships don’t work because that’s part of real life." I want him to see how real it was and how hard it was for me and that how much all that pain was worth it in the end.

Would you advise he find love the same way?
Would I recommend for Ty to do this? I hope Ty would be the type of person to think about doing something different, absolutely. I wouldn’t say necessarily a TV show.

-- Denise Martin

Photo: Associated Press

Comments

[Pamela]

I'm SO HAPPY Jason chose Molly, I knew way back when that those two should be together, no one will really know or understand or appreciate their situation, Melissa WAS SO WRONG FOR HIM, he felt Very Sorry for her, (She should NOT have told Jason, or the Entire World, that she was always the DUMPEE!) No One should ever know those facts, (Too Personal of information to share with anyone) I was so devestated that Jason sent Molly home, but I knew..... because Molly knew that Jason was making a Huge Mistake, I love that this man can cry. we need more men to show their emotions, he cried 12 times, why was anyone keeping track of this info? Odd. Jason & Molly: GOOD LUCK, Be Happy, Ignore the pityful people & just Be Happy together... Love, Laugh & Make Babies!!!! I knew Jason would be with Molly. Her eyes, he even told her, those eyes.. Jason & Molly, We Love You Two!!!!! Pamela from Minnesota, we can't wait for the WEDDING!!!!

[kim]

Jason is a dumb, weak, fickle guy who doesn't know himself and has the worst decision making skills on the planet. And Molly? Ick. Making out with him on TV 10 minutes after he broke things off with his fiancee and still thinking that he is "the most amazing guy" is... um, laughable at best. I hope she has fun living in his tiny houseboat. Jason is such a bad, irresponsible parent, seriously.

[mcarroll]

JASON: You had just better thank your lucky stars you weren't dealing with a sister and especially this sister. If I had been in Molly's or Melissa's shoes, I would have KEPT the ring and blasted you to high heaven. The censors would all have had strokes and you would never want to date againl. Leave your kid out of your mess. The other kids wil give him hell!

[HomerJay]

This guy belongs on "Tool Academy".

[Rosa Tachi]

Jason just took a mighty fall in my eyes. Yes, no wonder he is divorced. And now he is damaged goods at a national level. I'm also finished watching what is a foolish way to find the person you want to marry. And just how many solid, lasting relationships have come out of this ill advised reality show anyway? Bye.

[JohnRJ08]

Reality television is a joke.

[Teri]

Whoa. Wait a minute. What's all this bashing of the guy for "rejecting her on TV." Gasp! How terrible of him. How cruel. Doing it on TV. Shame shame. NOT. He broke up with her privately. Then they BOTH agreed to go on TV and do it again and talk about it. Nobody forced her - least of all him - unless, of course, there were contract stipulations. So they both chose to play this game, and they both followed the rules all the way. Why the outrage aimed solely at him?

[Chris]

I have the person woman for Jason.....Nadya Suleiman.....meet Jason Mesnick.

[Winifred]

What we are all reacting to is not your change of heart, it's the fact that you didn't tell melissa when you said things weren't working the week before that you were going to pursue the runner up. That you chose to divulge this information on national TV adding to her heartbreak, and then chose to maul Molly on national TV minutes after. This is what people are responding to. And you know it. You just keep choosing to ignore your despicable methods. You could have told her all this in private and spared her public humiliation. That's what a good guy would do. No pressure from ABC would allow a decent human being to treat another like that on national tv. Are you such a media hound that you couldn't have that moment in private? You could have relayed to the audience that you told Melissa it wouldn't work and then chris could have brought out Molly and you could have maulled her without reproach. Even in the interview above you told Melissa you wanted to talk about things. She probably expected a conversation, not a fait accompli. What's worse is that you are so self involved, you can't see how this is worse than how Deanna treated you. Totally gross. You owe the fans and Melissa an apology for your lack of judgement and exploitation of someone's heartache, not to mention the inappropriate mauling of an "unsuspecting" Molly. We all know this was all well choreographed. That both you and Molly knew what was about to happen. Don't treat the audience like we are idiots. I can't believe you don't see the faults in your actions. Yick!

[Sara]

I am just fed up after watching Jsaon MeSick and his deplorable actions. Then to top it all off ABC somehow decides not to go with Melissa as the nect bachelorette makes me even more angry. Good bye Bachelor and Bachelorette I will no longer be watching.

[PhilZ]

Anybody who takes this show seriously is a fool. It's all about entertainment, get over it.

[katy]

Jason is a very selfish person. Melissa by no means deserved to be treated this way. For him to propose for the sake of ratings and most likely his own ego makes him a disgusting person.
Every time he opens his mouth it is all about him and what he wants. I don't wish the best to him and Molly.

[billy]

You ugly women are all the same, clinging to a pathetic TV show to fulfill your "fairy tale" fantasies about love and marriage. There are no white knights out there willing to sacrifice their own happiness for the sake of someone else to make their fictional dreams come true. There are only regular people. I don't think what he did was bad at all.
This kind of thing happens every day.

I dumped my fiancee when I realized we weren't right for each other. Should I have married her and been miserable and had a miserable family life for 20 years? Grow up and join the real world.

[Mommy to the best]

Please!!!! Jason is a jerk! Incase you don't know that is the way of life for a lot of those Northwestern Men. They don't know what they want and they do want a woman to run them. So Jason and Molly may end up being the best match.
Being a Texas gal myself, I was in a relationship with a man from MT. Same thought process. Tunes change like their underwear. Don't worry Melissa, Jason will get his. What is more is he has a child that we be watching his every move. One day he will regret the ABC rating stunt he pulled. Walk strong, head held high, and be very proud!!

[colliemom]

Jason is no prize. Does he have a real job? I appreciate sensitivity in men, but this guy is just a crybaby.

[Frank]

Some of you holier than thou people amaze me. "No wonder he is divorced." No wonder 50 to 60% of the population is divorced. We marry too young. We think without using our brain when it comes to love and we have all been manipulated by some one from the opposite gender. People use people for their own ends. When their purpose has been served you are let go whether you ar eready or not. Most never tell you the reasons why or even politiely tell you are all. One moment you are in their life, the next you are out. This is reality. It is bitter and it is painful. We have not loved if we have not suffered from the loss of some one we have loved. At some point in all of our relationships we will be betrayed or the trust for that special someone will be challenged. What makes us strong is how we cope with these expected changes in our lives and not endlessly wishing for something that was not meant to be. Jason makes us all anger and bitter because we see our own lives in his short relationships with these last two women. This is the ultimate fast track example of the real world. Sure it is played out on a stage and in sound bites but the emotions it all elicites in each of us is from our own past relationships not his. We can all still feel the rejection we have experienced from a past lover as well as the high of being in love with some one too. So those of you who are so critical for any of these characters, stop by your mirror and take a hard look at yourself and your past and present and tell me you have not been there and done that too.

[eanderson1974]

Hey Jason! Grow a pair, and become a man (if you can). A real man wouldn't publicly humiliate a woman by dumping her on tv. Nice message that you sent your son about how to treat women. I would call you a pig but I would be insulting pigs everywhere.

[RMG]

Why is everyone saying what a terrible person Jason is? Honestly, none of us know what happens behind closed doors. ABC wants ratings like any other TV network, so obviously, they are going to make everything look more dramatic on the After the Final Rose Show. How do we know Melissa and Jason hadn't talked about breaking up before? She wasn't wearing her ring. Yes, there may have been a more tactful way to approach everything, but he needs to be happy. If thing weren't working out with Melissa, what would be the point of them to stay together? I hope he and Molly are very happy together.

[Emie]

I agree with everything you said Suzy, exactly what I was thinking. I watched the show from the first episode to the last and I adored Jason. But after he dumped poor Melissa on National TV I lost ALL respect for this guy........ if he though it was bad what Deanna did to him, he just threw Melissa under the bus 100x worse. Melissa was so right when she said that he lied and that he didn't even want to work on the relationship. If he was not sure he should have never asked Melissa to Marry him. Also I think Molly is STUPID for taking him back after he told her just 3 months prior that she wasn't good enough, now she is???? I would have laughed in Jasons face if I were Molly and said HA HA HA now you have no one AGAIN!!!!! Jason you are a LOSER!!!!!! I feel so bad for poor Ty!!!! What a Jerk!!!!!

[Tony F]

Most of you readers are just pathetic. I think any adult would recognize that Melissa was a phony with serious problems that fooled Jason for awhile. She has a removed distant relationship with her own family and appears to be a low self esteem cheer leader that has little depth as an experienced person.

Jason needs to be careful for his little boy and I really think that Melissa went psycho after she was chosen. This is nothing new for those that date. Once a commit is made the real person emerges. I think there are things that went on with Melissa that we do not know.

Jason did the correct thing, he listened to himself.

If he suffered with a long term relationship with Melissa to make others happy it would eventually end in disaster and would hurt Ty. Stupid traditional behavior is why marriages end.

You readers are obviously wounded like Melissa. Grow up and get a healthy life, losers.

Great job Jason.