'Gossip Girl': Wharton hears a who

After a month-long hiatus, I expected "Gossip Girl" to return with enough drama to leave me slack-jawed. Only the promise of awe-inspiring revelations and possibly a really good catfight could justify leaving us with so many empty Monday nights, right? Instead, we got Nelly Yuki in a fat suit (OK, that was actually funny), the most pointless Chuck-related story line ever and a blank-faced Rachel Carr meeting her timely demise. Though the actions in last night's episode served as precursors to future scandal, it all seemed disjointed and a bit tedious. But before I threw a fit as if someone stole my early acceptance spot at Yale, I was reminded by the increasingly wise Vanessa that the beauty of uneventful society stories lies in the details.

We start backstage at Constance Billard/St. Jude's production of "The Age of Innocence," the show's most explicit nod to Edith Wharton (the less obvious being two characters named after Lily Bart from  "The House of Mirth" and its overall satire of New York society). In a space that rivaled a small Broadway production, we witness Blair's fall from grace. Her antics involving Ms. Carr caused Yale to rescind her acceptance, and the news that everyone at school hates her sends her into a tailspin. Though she initially prepares to draw blood, B realizes she's fated to be the disgraced countess she plays on stage. I love Evil Blair, but her self-awareness is what transcends her from other TV mean-girl archetypes. Her wiles have earned her nothing but karmic retribution, and it looks as though she'll reluctantly turn to Plan B: finding a wealthy suitor. Who needs Yale when you've got Chuck, Carter Baizen and even Nate lining up to woo you?

Serena, however, isn't having much luck in the love department. She's resorted to pulling the age-old Cyrano de Bergerac trick  to impress a guy. (Note to shows: do not use this story line unless the guy behind the mike is Steve Martin with a prosthetic nose.) We know S doesn't exactly have the sharpest gaydar -- she didn't even notice her own brother was gay -- so the outcome sparked little surprise. Call it the calm before the storm since Serena's love life is going to get much more interesting toward the end of the season. More importantly, Vanessa's turn as Cyrano inadvertently revealed Nate's insecurity over their relationship. Their fundamental differences will play a part in his return to Blair and rightfully so. I can only imagine Vanessa's head exploding after a few nights of SportsCenter. 

I'm all for exercising patience when it comes to a Blair-Chuck reunion, but did we really have to endure that cul-de-sac of a story with Elle to remind us they're meant to be together? It re-introduced Carter Baizen and further emphasized that entry into this secret men's club was going to be more difficult than Chuck imagined, but other than that, I needed it no more than S needs more low-cut shirts. Chuck belongs back with the group, not swilling scotch with his dad's old cronies.

Finally, last night's episode closed the book on Dan and Rachel's torrid love affair. This was inevitable, but would it hurt to show what, aside from the forbidden aspect of it, intrigued Dan in the first place? Rachel had the same expression on her face the entire hour! She left nothing to be desired and couldn't even make an otherwise steamy closet scene exciting. It was disappointing considering the drama leading up to it, but after that episode, she deserved to get sent back to the cornfields.

Time for your thoughts on the episode. Who would you prefer to give Chuck a run for his money with Blair: Nate or Carter? Do you think Dan and Rachel's story got wrapped up too quickly?

xoxo

--Enid Portuguez

Photo: The CW

Comments

[Not a Gossip Girl Fan]

Gossip Girl is painful! I don't know how people watch this kind of tripe. I saw the show yesterday - the first time I ever saw the show - and this is because I had found out that they might be mentioning classic movies. After the hour was up, I changed the channel, and vowed never to watch these empty-headed women mouthing drivel ever again.

[Angelica Upper East Side Princess of Manhattan]

Last Night's episode was a great episode however, i do kinda think that Dan and Rachel's affair was wrapped up too soon. however, i don't get chuck and Elle's stupid scene and i was getting kinda tired of it. however, I'm glad to see that chuck is returning home to his Blair Bear. i would love to see chuck get a a run for his money with Nate. Besides Karma is a bitch. that would be quite interesting between Nate and Chuck. anyways i love the show regardless of what happens. just as long as it does not cancel permanently. can u guys imagine if it did? i would be devastated. i need this show. this is my adrenaline every week. Plus i live in Manhattan, NY so the fashion tips from this show is great! XOXO I LOVE GOSSIP GIRL!!!!!

[O-town]

To develop a desire to watch a tv show because "they might mention old movies" sounds as stupid as any of the stunts these spoiled little rich kids get into. This is a fun show and to expect to get intelligent conversation about old movies is hilarious. You're rightfully so, not a Gossip Girl fan. It'd be too much to expect you to actually enjoy watching tv without wanting to debate something. Do stay away.

[gossip girl fanatic]

i loved last night episode, cant wait for future episodes to come. i just wanted to know if anyone knew what kind of bluetooth S was wearing, it looked so cool!!

[zudi]

The earpiece Serena was sporting is the newest "jawbone"