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‘90210’: Cupid fires, cynical Silver goes down

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It’s Valentine’s Day at West Beverly, and Cupid’s arrows are a-flying. But no, it’s not love junkies Annie and Ethan, or even lost lovers Navid and Adriana, that prove most susceptible to the chubby one’s powers; it’s the formerly jaded and cynical Silver! And isn’t it always the ones who resist love most who fall the hardest? Oh 9-0, you dish out nothing but the truth.

So, last week Silver proclaimed her love to Dixon, albeit accidentally, and by this week she was tattooing his name on her hip, scheduling shmancy dinners and even dressing like a girl. Too fast, you say? Not at all. Love knows no time.

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Unfortunately, however, Dixon does, and he was more than a little creeped out when his gal-pal’s adoration suddenly translated into a ginormous tattoo. (Funny how he did not seem upset when her adoration translated to them booking a hotel room together for the first time … but I digress.)

Dixon, prepare to get freaked out. Silver, prepare to get dumped. Dixon, prepare to get torn to shreds on Silver’s blog. It’s a tragic turn for the golden couple, but also a totally believable one. If only Silver had read ‘Why Men Love Bitches,’ or ‘The Game,’ or any of the many manuals that teach young lovers how to disguise their young love as loathing, maybe she could have kept Dixon hanging on. But, hey, it isn’t fair to mourn the death of Dilver (Sixon?) before its time. Maybe these two can still work it out! Fingers crossed.

Now on to the whole underage bartender/Naomi saga, which felt more than a little familiar. Isn’t this bartender the same person as Naomi’s rebellious Latin-lover? Both are seductive and vaguely dangerous outsiders who dwell well below Naomi’s social class.

And on another note, were we really supposed to think the bartender was some kind of working-class hero just because he knew that ‘Miguel,’ whom he works with, was from Guatemala and not Mexico? I should hope he’d know that. Would that declaration have even seemed progressive during the original ‘90210’?

And now, time for awards!

Most out of character: Nitpicky I know, but when Navid started ragging on Adrianna by the lockers it seemed totally out of character. This guy is a saint, and he’s madly in love with Ad. No cluster of jocks is going to make him behave otherwise!

Most curious coincidence: So many commenters, right here on this blog, have complained about Shenae Grimes’ acting. Is it just a coincidence that the writers have made Annie’s character a terrible actress, or are they winking at us?

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Most tragic loss: Silver has lost so much to Dixon: her heart, her virginity, her pride ... but there’s no reason the girl needs to lose her fashion sense too. Rhonda’s gorgeous (silver) dress should have been Silver’s tonight. Instead, the moony one got stuck with an Eighties zip-up thing and an unforgivable overabundance of accessories.

Best new mean girl: Naomi has never really worked as the evil character on this show. It’s too easy. But Annie had a killer mean-girl moment tonight, when she bore lasers through Rhonda and Ethan at the lunch table. The new West Beverly has yet to find a good villainess, and so I nominate Annie. Why not let the country cutie run amok, a la Jenny on ‘Gossip Girl’?

As for next week, the preview looked pretty strange. Sex and drag racing and fires and broken glass! Was that even the same show? Buckle up, 9-0 fans. Looks like it’ll be a doozy.

Till next week!

-- Stephanie Lysaght

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