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'The City': Who is the meanest of them all?

January 20, 2009 |  6:40 am

Episode281x211 Olivia who? There's a new mean girl in town, and she's giving the former queen of mean -– self-proclaimed "social" Olivia Palermo -– a run for her (plentiful) money.

Meet Allie. She may be small, but she's scrappy.

Upon meeting Allie, sweet-as-honey Whitney Port opened up about her difficulties adjusting to life in the Big Apple, saying, "There are times when I'm ready to go home definitely." Whit's new frenemy-to-be appeared perplexed. "[New York] just feels like home like instantly for me." Oookay.

So apparently, everything is easy for lil Miss Allie, which makes us -- and Whitney -- kind of hate her. To add insult to injury, Allie is a model, and is so comfy in her own (minimal) skin that she was headed to a nude-ish photo shoot. "Diesel," she said, holding back a yawn.

But then, a very clever thing happened.... Just as we were all primed and ready to loathe this petite tornado of a newcomer, MTV threw us a curveball, by making her utterly sympathetic. Ya see, while Lil Allie was off shooting her nude-ish Diesel thing, her new live-in beau, Adam, got friendly with some party girls at a club in Chelsea.  And took them home with him!

What happened next was murky, but it was enough to make our new villainess weep alligator tears all over her pretty red scarf. Wait! I'm supposed to hate her! But now I hate Adam! And I feel bad for Allie! You see the dilemma? A lovable witch is born.

In light of Allie's waterworks, Olivia's personal dramas felt decidedly yawn-inducing tonight. Her mangy cousin, Nevan, was on her couch, leaving Olivia to implore him to get a "job." (Note: In today's episode of "The City," we learned that a "job" is something designed to prevent you from getting drunk in the afternoon.) Give Olivia something better to do than insult her cousin's geriatric sneakers, MTV. At the very least, a shopping montage?

And then there's Jay. Who has had a girlfriend -- Whitney -- for all of one week and is already accusing her of being a nut-caper: "Women seem to constantly be taking control of our nuts," mused Jay at the club. "Somedays you just gotta take the nuts back in your hand and go 'okay, it's my turn.'" Poignant stuff.

Seriously though, homeboy is one drink away from a one-night stand. Whitney take note: Jay was far too amused at the prospect of Adam going home with one of the women from the bar tonight.

Needless to say, Whitney is in way above her crochet-flowered headband. "What is wrong with these people!" she exclaimed at one point during tonight's episode. A lot, Whit. A lot. 

What do you all think? Has Allie's ice-princess stare eclipsed Olivia's pursed-lip once-over, or is Olivia still the reigning villainess? Who is the meanest of them all?

-- Stephanie Lysaght

Photo: MTV