Kate Gosselin on octuplets' birth: People will judge you
Kate Gosselin has a piece of advice for the Whittier mom who gave birth to octuplets: People will judge you, people will gawk at you, but "keep your head up, and do your absolute best for your children."
Kate is the star of TLC's hit TV show "Jon & Kate Plus 8," which follows the never-boring life with her husband, Jon, and their eight children -- a set of twins and a set of sextuplets.
"I felt like I had octuplets ... I had eight in three years," Kate said. "[The news of the octuplets' birth] caused me to review the feelings and emotions I had when my six were born! So overwhelming!"
The birth of the octuplets to Nadya Suleman, a Whittier woman "who loves children," has raised concerns about the number of embryos implanted and whether the procedure was within medical guidelines.
We asked Kate to reflect on the day-to-day realities that lie ahead for the new mom, the octuplets and their six siblings. (Truth be told, we originally tried to interview the Duggars, who have 18 kids and their own TV show on Discovery, but they declined because, believe it or not, they said they couldn't relate to having eight infants all at the same time.)
Kate answered questions via e-mail from Chicago, where she is doing a book signing for Multiple Blessings: Surviving to Thriving with Twins and Sextuplets.
Q.: What is the new mom experiencing physically? Emotionally?
A.: Right now, the mother is likely exhausted yet grateful that her babies are here and doing well so far! She is probably inundated with offers from people, companies and the media. Her main focus now though is her babies and their health.... Nothing else matters right now. She is feeling overwhelmed and as though she is in a fog. Feelings of helplessness and fear threaten to overtake! We relied on prayer and lots of it!!! We were blessed with all healthy babies and still don't forget that miracle!
Q.: She’s feeling exhaustion, no doubt, but does she even have time to be exhausted with eight new mouths to feed?
A.: She will ignore her exhaustion and will have to for the rest of her life! The babies' health matters most now. But it will be important for her to take care of herself too or she will not be of any use to her children!
Q.: She is said to be planning on breastfeeding. What do you think about that? Is that even possible?
A.: I think by 'breastfeeding' she plans on offering the option to each baby ... but will pump and supplement for all of them. I pumped/breastfed for six months for my six.... Quite a feat! It was the least I could do for my babies! There is literally not enough time to exclusively breastfeed six let alone eight babies.
Q.: What is she likely to be worried about as she contemplates a future with 14 children? (Other than those college payments.)
A.: Right now, the issue is getting through each day, each hour, each minute. Every day will have issues of its own.... She can and will survive!
Q.: What can she do to help her other six children adjust to their new life?
A.: She can get them involved in the care of the babies.... Point out their unique qualities.... And, no joke, help the other kids learn which baby is which. Quite a job! I remember Cara and Mady being frustrated with themselves when they got babies confused at first! It didn't take long!:) Taking time with each child will definitely be a challenge!
Q.: Will she have to be willing to ask for help when she needs it?
A.: There is absolutely no way she will survive without tons of help!!! Period.
Q.: What’s the one piece of advice that you didn't get, that you’d like to pass along to this new mother?
A.: There are no words to describe the overwhelming emotions that will flow from you -- ones you will have to suppress till way later, ones that you think will overtake you. People will want to help, people will want to simply gawk, others will judge you. Through all of this, keep your head up, and do your absolute best for your children.... You'll never regret it.
Q.: What would you do if you had 14 children? Can you imagine it?
A.: I cannot imagine having any more than eight. It would be almost double my workload and even though I am very organized, I could not do it well!
-- Rene Lynch
Photo: TLC
Niether the Duggar family nor the Gosselins are on welfare. Both are two-parent families. Judge the mother of the octuplets? Heck, yes.
Posted by: Bettie | January 31, 2009 at 12:49 PM
Kate Gosselin continues to be delusional regarding the public's perception of her. Perhaps some people judge her because she went against her doctor's advice and became pregnant when she was in a hyper ovulated state- Perhaps some taxpayers in PA judge her because they did not agree with Kate that they owed her childcare and goods because the state allowed her to have fertility treatments. The primary reason Jon and Kate Gosselin are severely criticized is completely within their control to change. They are judged and disliked because they exploit 8 innocent children. These two people allow their children to be filmed 4 days a week for profit. (which is what "exploit" means, Jon) The children are shown in embarrassing, often humiliating, situations (which constanly include their bathroom habits and mistakes in spite of the fact the children are almost kindergarten age) which the parents make fun of later during couch interviews with Jen, the producer. Kate and Jon argue and shriek at each other in front of their children and shriek at and belittle their kids and then say this behavior is okay because they are just showing their "real selves."
Now - to all of you Gosselin "lovers" - no need to respond to this comment with: A) You're just jealous! B)Just switch the channel if you don't like the Gosselins! C) These are good Christian parents and it's okay to spank kids, the kids are happy - leave the Gosselins alone!
Don't worry Jon and Kate "lovers" - TLC makes so much money of the Gosselins and the Gosselin parents make so much money off their kids that your favorite family will be on the air for you to "love" for a long time regardless of the Gosselin critics. And hopefully you caught just how "happy" Mady is on the CBS interviews yesterday.
Posted by: Elizabeth | January 31, 2009 at 02:43 PM
Kate sucks, show sucks, not natural! and are they christians? cuz i don't think science is supposed to be involved when making babies.
Posted by: oman | January 31, 2009 at 03:41 PM
Elizabeth,
I couldn't agree with you more about these spectacles! I absolutely refuse to watch the Gosselins. I conceived my fraternal twins 100% naturally at 31, and delivered them 100% naturally at 39 weeks. They weighed 6.11 lbs. and 6.5 lbs, spent no time in the NICU and we were released from the hospital less than 48 hours after birth. I had no help whatsoever from anyone except my husband and I have stayed home with my kids ever since their birth almost five years ago (choosing to give up my career to spend quality time raising my children). No one has ever approached me about having my own reality TV show so that I can profit off my kids, and I live in the entertainment capital of the world!! Nor have I had a plastic surgeon offering free services to me. I find it abhorring that these people are pimping their children out, making them spectacles to society and depriving them of the love and attention they EACH deserve from their parents. These children did not choose this situation, their parents did, and I feel nothing but pity for the kids.
!
Posted by: LA Twins Mom | January 31, 2009 at 04:20 PM
I for one would love to leave a comment in responce to "Elizabeth". First of all, I don't know if you yourself have children, but your "opinion" of the Gosselin's is completely wrong. Not once have Jon & Kate stated that their family is "perfect". They have never billed themselves in any other form other than they are a family with day to issues similar to those of a family of let's say 4. They chose to have their lives filmed to give people an inside view. There are aspects of their lives that are not put on camera, to which I applaud them.
As for Mady being "happy". What child her age is completely content and cheerfull all the time. I myself am from a family of six kids and I can remember being disgusted at times with my brothers and sisters. The Gosselins aren't "exploiting" their children anymore than a pageant mother.
Now for the mother of the recently born octuplets...I would hope that all California taxpayers would be up in arms over having to "foot the bill" for these kids. She clearly had no reguard for the financial strain she'd be putting her family and the citizens of California in. How selfish of her to "expect" to have these children. When I think of the millions of couples out there who fight and pray to have just one and this woman now has 14?? I don't feel sarry for her. I don't feel sorry for her parents. I feel sorry for those kids. They're the innocent ones in this media circus.
Posted by: Robin | January 31, 2009 at 04:47 PM
How do you think Jon and Kate just purchased a gigantic house that must be worth about $1,5 to 2.0MM - No doubt they are stashing most of the money for the kids college funds. As soon as the kids aren't cute anymore like around 6 or so,the show will go away. I think that this couple really spoil their children. Maddy is a real brat!! She is going to be one outrageous teenager.
Posted by: Lynn | January 31, 2009 at 05:15 PM
I don't know who Kate Gosselin is, but yes. I am definitely judging the single mother of octuplets who already has six other children. There's too many people on the planet anyway. Has it ever occurred to these people that they might be contributing to the problems we're facing? Especially considering that people in the Western world consume more than their share of natural resources.
Posted by: Valkyrie607 | January 31, 2009 at 05:30 PM
I love this family. I think the children are very normal and oblivious to the cameras but are aware of the persons taking the pictures. Jon and Kate are normal human parents. They adore each other and the kids know it. If they are sometimes frustrated and yell that is normal behavior. Neither have abused the children with spanking in any episodes I have watched. The extended family is very supportive. The children are very individual and Jon and Kate encourage it (individuality). Yes, they have earned money from their books and guest appearances and this program...it's called a working family. Is this any different from parents who have their babies/toddlers doing commercials?
Posted by: Ann Light | January 31, 2009 at 05:32 PM
College payments for the Whittier 8?
Taxpayers of course. I have a feeling that somehow taxpayer funds paid for this whole shebang. One of the older kids in the Whittier family is autistic so there's a nice federal disability check in the mail for that kid.
They'll be lucky to finish high school, their grandparents will be long gone and their mother won't be able to keep track of nay of them.
Shame shame on that "mother," her enabler family and the doctor that followed initiated this pregnancy.
P.S. I won't be watching the "reality show" either, and TLC or Discovery, WE or Lifetime, etc. don't you DARE take this story on!
Posted by: Marianne | January 31, 2009 at 05:32 PM
I have had it with Kate and Jon. They sit there and complain about EVERY situation they are in. This house is not big enough we NEED a bigger one. We couldn't afford to buy the kids bikes, thank you for the free ones.
Now they just bought a 1.3 MILLION dollar home, which they claim they REALLY needed. They don't NEED that big of a house. The one they are leaving is BIG ENOUGH. The first one they had was BIG ENOUGH.
My friends live in a 750sq ft home. There are FOUR people, two of which are teenage boys. Their home is 150 years old and in need of massive repair. THEY do not COMPLAIN about their home not being big enough, THEY do NOT complain about it needing repairs, THEY do not complain to others and ask for free handouts.
Kate and JOn should really shut their traps when it comes to talking about things they NEED vs what they want.
Posted by: TNK | January 31, 2009 at 05:57 PM
It's understandable that everyone's thinking about taxpayer costs, but the still more serious issues here are ethical and possibly legal ones. This was not a case of drug-induced hyperfertility. These were manually implanted embryos - far more than the human womb can safely bring to maturity. The woman who chose to do this had worked at a fertility clinic. She knew she was putting her offsprings' health seriously at risk. Because of her choice, there's a good chance one or more of her children have brain, lung, or intestinal damage, and may suffer with lifelong learning disabilities.
Posted by: Robin | January 31, 2009 at 07:05 PM
It is a crime against an overpopulated planet and an abuse of medical, educational and other support systems exploited by this irresponsible mother and all that support her.
Posted by: USA Citizen Colorado | January 31, 2009 at 07:51 PM
I love Jon and Kate, in fact when i am having a bad day with my two young ones, i turn on the show and think, wow how do they do it. They are inspiration to every family. Imagine have 8 mouths to feed all at once everyone pulling you in every direction. How dare you criticize them. Good luck to them and i hope they continue the show for a very long time.
Posted by: FRECKLES | January 31, 2009 at 08:18 PM
The doctors who perform such fertility procedures which result in more than 2 or 3 babies should have their license to practice medicine revoked permanently.
Posted by: Jane B. | January 31, 2009 at 08:24 PM
"do your absolute best for your children"
Does not that start by thinking carefully about them before you conceive them.
Posted by: G.O. | January 31, 2009 at 08:37 PM
I really love watching Jon and Kate plus eight since I think they represent all of the negative challenges faced in a marriage with lots of children. I don't feel they exploit their children at all, they do need a way to make money to afford all of those kids. The mother of the octuplets is a completely different story. If you already have 6 children aged 2 to 7, and are a single mom living at home with your mother why on earth would you want even 1 more, let alone 8. What doctor would allow you to even consider another one............and then they implant 8 embryos. What were they thinking. Clearly this woman has a problem. You have six and you want seven, no, not seven, fourteen! She needs psychological help for sure!
Posted by: Sandy G | January 31, 2009 at 08:55 PM
please leave kate, jon, and their wonderful children out of this. Jon and kate do the best for there family and work hard to provide for them. yes they did get a bigger house, but im sorry if u dont believe in getting the best for ur kids. im sorry if u think that people shouldnt be kind and give from their hearts things they think the family would love. im soory that u had to see maddy in a bad mood and not in a happy, cheerful robot state and that she is human. But when u were a kid u were in love with ur sibbling and never thought they aggervated u. I love this family because they do what they believe what is right for thier family and not let nasty, hate filled comments run thier lives.
For the new octuplet mother i feel it was irrsonsible to have those children with out having her own home or a job that provides for all their needs. kate and jon were in stable jobs and had a house to come home to. the mother should think about how she is going to provide for these 14 children. i hope she can do right for them and provide them with tons of love, a good education, and stable home. i pray for this family.
Posted by: christan for life | January 31, 2009 at 09:07 PM
Do we have to hear an opinion from Kate Gosselin on this matter? She has used her children to create an opulant lifestyle for her and her husband. A real life mom she is not. She is a publicity machine and the product she is pushing on the public are her own children. She needs to take them back into the nest and tell the cameras to go home. No child's life should be turned into a reality TV show. It is wrong. It is sad.
Posted by: TYN | January 31, 2009 at 09:11 PM
I think the Gosselins sold out. I did at one time enjoy watching the show because it was the story of a real life couple struggling with day to day issues of having a large family. Now that is not the case. I am one of 8 children - all single births - and grew up in a three bedroom house. My mother stayed at home to care for us and cared for my cousin, who is younger than my youngest sibling, so my aunt could work. My father worked a blue colored job to feed us. But to my parents credit, we are now all adults and college graduates and some of us even have masters degrees. After all of us were grown and moved out, my parents sold their three bedroom suburban home in NJ, and bought a big 7 bedroom house in the mountains so all their children and grandchildren can come and visit. The point is there are many families that have had multiples and they work hard to raise their family without having to be in the public eye. As for the woman with the octoplets, how long do you think it with be before child protective services steps in?
Posted by: Adrienne | January 31, 2009 at 09:13 PM
I don't know which Kate is worse at; being a "Christian" or being a mom. She lambasts that poor, wimpy husband and has no CLUE how to handle her children.
She wants to run her family like a logistician, all lists and inventory. Those precious kids are so emotionally starved. They want to have a normal life but Kate loves her pedicures, spas and fancy treatment - all at the expense of her children's privacy.
I think this train wreck is screeching to a halt. The new multi-million dollar house, the obvious fact that the children are imploding and now backlash against High Order multiples may rescue these kids before it's too late.
Posted by: Denise | January 31, 2009 at 09:34 PM