'90210': Annie and Ethan 'go to Palm Springs'
And by "go to Palm Springs," I mean Annie and Ethan do it. Almost. "Go to Palm Springs" was just their cutesy way of saying it.
And by "cutesy," I mean nauseating.
Oh, and they do it to a David Archuletta song. Almost.
Oh! And they don't wind up doing it because Ethan, who has nothing to do on this show whatsoever, tells Annie that he doesn't want to end up hurting her. (Can you imagine the script Dustin Milligan got for this episode? Tell Annie you love her. Make out with her for half the episode. Say you'd love to "go to Palm Springs" with her. Wuss out at the last minute. Dustin, we feel for you.)
Thought so. Because I want to talk about the rest of the episode, which wasn't at all bad! It involved a Grandma-Aunt Becky (or Debbie, you know, whatever you prefer to call Lori Loughlin) power struggle, Silver going berserk on Dixon, Navid finding out the horrible truth and Adriana and Naomi mending their friendship.
Let me break it down:
Tabitha spoils Annie and Dixon, Debbie goes characteristically ballistic. Yeah, we feel your pain, Lori. Debbie doesn't have much to do except go at it with the non-teenage females. Harry's ex? Tabitha? Maybe they should put her in a room with Kelly and Brenda, because this war with Tabitha is already old. Tabitha, however, we'll take more of, in any form. Jessica Walters, and the stuff the writing team gives her to say, is always spot on. But Debbie, well, hey, at least she got to do it with Harry and Annie didn't get to do anything. That's a small victory.
Speaking of ballistic, has Silver lost it? Last week, she gets super jealous of Dixon's cheerleader friend, but she turns out to be gay, so she's chill. This week, she emasculates Dixon about joining chorus (isn't making fun of activities, like, that so "Saved by the Bell"?) and then when he tells her that he loves her, she goes bonkers. No explanations yet, but we're hoping it's a good one.
Navid, who also has nothing to do on the show, is given even less to do. He learns that Adriana is pregnant, and obviously not with his kid because he's a virgin. So, for now, he bails. Politely. Respectfully. But he does bail. With any luck, he'll come around, because he's the second most appealing male teen on the show. (Dixon is the most appealing, natch.)
Adriana and Naomi start over. Naomi didn't cry once in this episode and that's already a plus. Give AnnaLynne McCord nothing but snarky zingers from now and I'll be happy. They don't all stick, but most of them last night did. She hasn't lost her footing with the crew of mean girls, either, so things can only get better from here. Adriana's drama fuels the show. I'm so glad they extended the little pill popper's life beyond three episodes. Especially in an episode when I'm not feeling my favorite gal, Silver.
All in all, I'd give it a solid B. Next week could get messy though: Annie's first man, the tall thespian Ty, is back. A war over Annie? Say it ain't so!
-- Denise Martin
Photo credit: The CW