'The Hills': A half-hour commercial for 'The City'
I'm getting a bit worried about "The City."
Last night's half-hour commercial for "The Hills" spin-off was far less interesting than last month's, which set up the love triangle, and the one prior, introducing Whitney-without-Lauren to viewers. Monday, Whitney went back to being duller than rocks.
In the episode, boss Kelly Cutrone quite unbelievably told Whitney that she's been such a great staffer-slash-model-herder that Cutrone's recommending her for a bigger, better job with design grande dame Diane Von Furstenberg. With little doubt about whether or not to uproot herself, Whitney relayed the good news to Lauren, who got weepy, natch, and then flew out for the day to New York, where she was interviewed by some immaculately put-together vice president about why she's right for the job.
Whitney listed the jobs on her resume -- Teen Vogue internship and Cutrone's go-to gal -- and explained that she'd be an asset because "it would be a great opportunity" for her. Viewers should note that such an explanation would never get you a job, obviously. But this VP looked impressed. (She's going to fit right in with "The Hills" other unconvincing bosses, from Lisa Love at Teen Vogue to Brent Bolthouse at SBE, none of whom seem to possess the gift of acting like these "Hills" girls really belong in the workforce.) Whitney was then visited -- and smooched -- by her shaggy-haired Australian, to whom she practically shouted "New York, here I come!"
All in all, it was pretty boring. Can Whitney carry a show? I had thought so, but my original concerns about her utter lack of personality came creeping back after last night. Sure, she'll be surrounded by colorful characters, but now I'm unsure if they'll be enough.
In deference to Whitney -- or maybe to make her look better? -- it seemed like MTV used only the worst, most boring "Hills" moments to pad out Monday's episode. Lauren visited Audrina's new pad, where Audrina maddeningly told her that, nope, Justin Bobby is not out of the picture yet. Then Lauren took Lo to pack up her old room in Laguna Beach after finding out her parents are moving into a smaller abode. Meanwhile, Stephanie cried big, old, wet tears while breaking up with Cameron, whose had exactly five minutes of screen time start to finish on the series, for the fifth time. Even Spencer's brotherly put-downs of Stephanie couldn't shake me from my stupor.
At least next week looks better: MTV fudges the show's time line and shows us Spencer's and Heidi's sort-of wedding.
-- Denise Martin
Photo: Whitney Port. Credit: MTV