'Top Chef': Separating the cooks from the chefs

Like Bravo's “Project Runway,” there is just no way to fake your way through “Top Chef.” Can’t sew? Nina Garcia will run you off the runway. Can’t brunoise an apple? Start packing those knives.

Contestants on these shows either know what they’re doing, or they should not be contestants at all.

Now there's no question that the 17 initial competitors in this, the fifth season of “Top Chef,” are capable of pulling together incredible meals. (I have, at least, that much faith in the producers.) But cooking well and cooking well under pressure (as in a restaurant-style setting) are different talents. What I’d appreciate, as a longtime fan and loyal viewer of the show, is for the casting folks to do us all a favor and pick people who can handle a few curve balls.

The premiere episodes of the last few seasons of "Top Chef" have disappointed in this very regard; they've been suspense-free. I’m still scratching my head over how the audition tapes of Lauren and Patrick made it past the recycle pile. Neither were characters who popped (not that Lauren had any time to pop; she was cut in the first 15 minutes). The idea should be to get personalities with skills, as is the case with Stefan, the night’s winner in both the "Quickfire" and "Elimination" challenges, a puffed-up chef from Finland eager to take down his Stateside competition while debating the difference between vinaigrette and dressing. I feel like I’ll be in the minority when I say this, but I like him already.

There are also no excuses -- certainly not after four seasons -- for going on  “Top Chef” and doing something that will immediately get you drop-kicked out of the competition. I’m not even talking about knowing how to come up with 2 cups of expertly diced apples. Although (again, poor Lauren) if you're slower than 16 other people doing it, you won't last long anyway.

I'm talking about what the judges prize most: execution, execution, execution. So, dear producers, why bother casting someone like Patrick? (Head judge Tom Colicchio even echoes this sentiment.) Have we forgotten adorable but inexperienced Candice from Season 1? She was also a still-in-school culinary student. She was booted, not because the flavors of her dishes tasted bad but because she attempted the impossible: a microwaveable quiche. Patrick gets dropped off in Chinatown and picks up some noodles he says he's never worked with, figuring he’ll boil them because that’s what you do to noodles. (I’ll stop short of going into the many different ways dried noodles are handled and just say that they don’t all get boiled.) That’s not only inexperience, that’s  lack of common sense.

It’s like watching clueless Nimma from last season. It’s like re-living crazy Clay all over again, except in Clay’s case, he was at least colorful. There’s little guessing involved when people who would never in a million years win “Top Chef” are included. Let that trend stop here.

The Elimination challenge was interesting enough: Pairs of contestants were sent to seven different ethnic neighborhoods to get inspiration (and ingredients) for their dishes. They were limited only by their imagination and know-how; the task was far less demanding than last season’s battle of the classics and definitely less intimidating than Season 3’s exercise in exotic proteins.

But let’s take a look at what the judges had to say about some of the losing dishes. Ariane’s farro? Undercooked. The lamb in Richard’s lamb sliders? Overcooked. Fabio’s pork? Needs salt. Carla’s slaw? Needs salt. Melissa’s steak sauce? Needs salt. Patrick’s noodles? Cooked incorrectly.

Some of these mistakes can be corrected simply by tasting the food before it goes to the judges, which,  again, is something that they complain about every season. But I'm willing to take into account first-time jitters and suspend further judgment until next week. I did appreciate seeing Fabio, in the season preview, telling his teammates to taste every *bleeping* thing on their plates. You tell 'em, Fabio!

It’s also too early to start rooting with 15 contestants remaining, but if I had to choose the standouts besides Stefan thus far, I’d stand behind Hosea, who is quiet but could be one of the more sophisticated players this season, having turned in a high-end preparation of a trio of fish. I’ll also be keeping my eye on Leah, who got kudos from Colicchio on her scallops in the Quickfire and for her Italian-style fish with (correctly cooked) farro risotto.

Less impressive was Radhika, who said that because she’s Indian people expect her only to make heavily spiced Indian food; she then proceeded to make an apple chutney in the first challenge! I’m also not (yet) fond of big talker Jeff, who cares more about his hair than the fact that he turned in one ugly plate of rice and beans.

What are your thoughts on the first episode? Did you like weeding out the weak first with a skills challenge? (I hope they still do the skills relay later on.) Should Ariane have gone home before Patrick? Are you annoyed by Stefan’s arrogance? Let's discuss in the comments below.

-- Denise Martin

Related:
Complete "Top Chef" coverage on Showtracker.

Photo credit: NBC Universal

Comments

[Godot]

Hi Ms. Martin,
My wife and I watch the show, but our first love is "Iron Chef" (Japan) where the excitement was generated by the commentary and judges. One thing that I notice with the American shows is that sometimes they seem to value showmanship over skill, narcissism over self-confidence, and brash over humble. As a competitive show, "Top Chef" suffers occasionally from the same thing that affects sports - grandstanding at the expense of good sportsmanship. If you wonder what I mean, try watching "Iron Chef" (Japan) with Bobby Flay's rematch.

Godot

[fr]

What about Gene? I thought he fared fairly well.

[JCR]

I was worried for Gene since he had to cook Indian and he was going to be judged by Padma. For not knowing Indian and Padma and the other judges giving him high marks, I thought that was excellent! Great job!

[jaradams]

Angela, Patrick.. salad? You really think the judges on this show are impressed with salads?

I really do think some of the lame ones get on the show to give the show a chance to burn a few contestants while the viewrship falls in love with the ultimate final eight. I mean, how pumped up would you be for the first show if some fabulous chef came on and was blown out on the first Quickfire? So Patrick and Angela (and Nimma and Clay) are invited, but nobody really believes they have a chance. Watch for Radhika, Jeff, or Ariane to go next. After that, it's anybody's game.

I personally love Stefan and Gene, and am already tired of the female part of Team Rainbow. And salt and pepper do seem to have disappeared from American restaurants, though not from American cooking shows or cook books.

[Maura]

Stefan is from Germany, not Finland

[Denise Martin]

Maura, Yeah I read he was raised in Germany, but he's technically from Finland. http://www.bravotv.com/Top_Chef/season/5/bios/bios.php?c=stefan

Re: Gene, yes, I like him a lot too. I think he'll go far since he obviously knows how to cook on the fly.

[Sky]

Stefan is from Germany, not Finland

Posted by: Maura | November 14, 2008 at 07:47 AM
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That is incorrect. Please read his bio. He is from Tampere Finland.

He did spend the majority of his childhood in Germany, but he still returns to Finland every summer to hunt and fish - and he owns a home there.

He refers to himself as Finnish.

[Dave in Northridge]

I'll give you a sleeper right now. If you've ever eaten at Absinthe in San Francisco, you'll know what Jamie is capable of, and I think she's intentionally flying below the radar at this point.

And who cares where Stefan and Fabio grew up. One's catering company is in Santa Monica, the other's restaurant is in Moorpark. No, I'm NOT saying this is a reason to be kind to them, but I agree with Denise about Stefan. Frankly, xenophobic Daniel is a lot more annoying than Fabio.

[stefan]

Hello Everybody and Denise another great article ( like always i love to read your stuff )

Thank you for all your support. Yes i was born in Finland and grew up in Germany. I speak both and do have both Passports. And proud to be a American soon ;-). I love this Country more then the country i was born in. And especially Los Angeles and Santa Monica. Thats why i settled in CA.

Keep watching love all your comments ;-). And i know i sound a little cocky sometimes but i think it is my accent.

Best Stefan

www.stefanscatering.com www.santamonicachef.com