Rosie O'Donnell's 'Rosie Live': What was she thinking?

Two words: Dancing food. “Rosie Live” ended with dancing food. There’s nothing else to say, really except perhaps, Liza Minnelli. “Rosie Live” opened with a little song and dance from Liza Minnelli, who rose to the stage, as if from the grave, to sing a duet with O’Donnell, in a luminous white suit, complete with fetching Broadway hat. Liza, we love you, we will always love you, but there is no shame in retirement.

In between we were treated to Harry Connick Jr. in a Santa hat, Conan O’Brien taking a pie in the face, and Jane Krakowski singing about all the free stuff audience members would get. Some of the items were pretty swell, but I’m here to tell you it wasn’t enough. Rosie made jokes about Spanx, Alec Baldwin appeared in a jacket two sizes too small with weird Einstein hair -- neither of which were part of a gag. Clay Aiken strolled over from “Spamalot” to participate in the world’s most painfully long gay joke ("What was the other thing we have in common," Rosie mused, "oh yeah, we're both Gaaa ... briel Byrne fans.") and Alanis Morissette sang a song referencing the 12 Steps in front of, I kid you not, an endless loop of geese flying through a sunset.

Flying geese! There are not enough free video cameras or White Castle burgers in the world to make up for that. And what about the viewers at home? Where are our new cellphones and white strips products?
Rosie, Rosie, what on earth were you thinking? Were you thinking camp? Were you thinking this will be big and brassy and so-over-the-top even the dancing cupcakes will be irresistible? For those of us who are, and remain, Rosie fans, who think “The View” will never quite recover from her departure, who think her desire to resurrect the variety show was, and is, a great idea, disappointment does not even begin to describe it. For weeks now NBC has seduced and tantalized with the promise of a cross between Carol Burnett and “Sonny and Cher.” And this is what we get? Rosie in a glitter top having Baldwin speak into her cleavage and making jokes about her weight? Someone get a hold of Tim Conaway, stat.

To be fair, not everything on the show fell as flat as a turkey at a Sarah Palin picnic, or whatever the line was—yes, there was a Sarah Palin joke but Rosie was in a policeman’s costume at this point and I had my fingers in my ears. The Argentinian Lombard Twins were very good, and never have I been so glad to hear “You Spin Me Round” as when Anti-gravity took the stage with their giant tea cups and their hula hoops. But then we had to endure Kathy Griffin as Nancy Grace and Gloria Estefan making a joke about the turkey being the only one not hungry on Thanksgiving (because, you know, he’s stuffed). Estefan was the final act, but whatever collective relief that fact provided was immediately wiped away by a song  about eating and then, of course, the dancing food. Men and women dressed as slices of cake and giant cookies topped off by Rachael Ray making an appearance with a giant rubber turkey.

“Rosie Live” may enter the realm of unsolved mysteries, along with the fate of Amelia Earhart and the design team of the pyramids. O’Donnell was clearly attempting to recapture the uplifting unapologetic wonder of the big Broadway musical and the television variety show. But having a bunch of talented guests does not a terrific show make—you have to actually give them something interesting to do. Otherwise you're left with, well, a rubber turkey.

-- Mary McNamara

Photo: NBC

Comments

[Richard in Dallas]

She will not make us forget Dean Martin.

[E. Russel]

Simply stated this is an over-hyped, bitter, angry, confused and full-of-rage woman. Her talent is dwarfed by her sophomoric, political agenda and her petty, half-baked brawls with those superior to her in brain power have gone beyond tiresome. I wish her no ill will but feel that most of this is payback for her boorish behavior on that unwatchable day-time show and her poorly articulated argument that 9-11 was in inside job. Turkey day, indeed. Furthermore, the gay card has worn to threadbare. Even my most hearty "Dykes on Bikes" crowd is over her stale act.

[Tee Vee Viewer]

I purposely missed this experiment in bad ideas for TV and it appears as though I didn't miss the mark in my assessment of it, even without seeing it. Rosie is not funny, personable, or even talented. She is a bad joke and the collective intelligence at NBC wasn't smart enough to realize that the best TV project for Rosie is...nothing.

[SIGMUND EPSTEIN -]

wHAT'S THE BIG FUSS ABOUT??? i LIKED IT. i LIKED ADOLF AND BENITO, TOJO AND ATTILA THE HUN TOO..
I THINK THEY ALL GOT A BAD RAP. LIGHTEN UP FOLKS. GIVE HER A CHANCE. THERE MIGHT BE HOPE FOR HER YET. AFTER ALL, WE STILL REMEMBER LEE HARVEY, CHARLIE M. AND WHAT'S HIS NAME.

[SIGMUND EPSTEIN -]

She's a little pixie.....

[Commie Stooge]

Having just celebrated my 50th birthday this November; the idea of the Variety show returning to TV seemed good.
I grew up watching Ed Sullivan; Dean Martin (who was usually toasted during his show); Sonny & Cher: Laugh-In; and Carol Burnett (her show went off CBS back in 1982!).
Unfortunately, this bomb will not revive the genre.
I was bored to tears watching this embarresment.
Back in vaudeville, a hook would yank the performer off the stage.
I hope that NBC still has one laying around.

[Mary S.]

Can we retire Rosie once and for all, please!

[Mr Dale]

Why Can't She Stop with the "GAY"
Why Can't She Learn Manners?

Rosie ... Stop ... just stop. The idea is great and the concept should keep on going. But you have no stage talent... you never have. As a Host you are great!... let the folks do what they are hired "with talent" ...just do that.
As for the gay thing.. just stop. I am a proud gay man and don't run around telling everyone I am. Your mouth when it opens and mutter about gay gay gay.. Just Stop!

[Mark Jessup]

Rosie is so 20th century. She should NEVER be allowed anywhere near a serious media production is if the investors WANT to lose a bundle on it. Years and years ago, she was able to pull off that "Queen of Nice" schtick, but not now.

The only reason to watch her on ANY screen, little or large is to see just how big a train wreck is going to happen. This abysmal and pathetic 'Rosie Live' show could have been a lead in for a reunion episode of 'Murder She Wrote = The Case of the Slaughtered Variety Show Genre'.

I suggest that the producers of 'Dexter' see about inviting Rosie for a cameo appearance.

Perhaps Michael C. Hall could give us a little extra for our viewing pleasure. :-)

And what is IN the water in Kansas City? Whatever it is, George needs to STOP DRINKING IT.

[Robert J]

I was expecting this show to be quite different, but I was still content with the outcome. Americans are used to reality television from COPS to America's Next Top Model. It will take sometime for people to adjust to the change. If you ask me, I prefer more than reality television, and this show does it for me. Will it take some getting used to? Yes, but I'm confident that Rosie Live will do well. Give her a chance people, and more importantly give the showa chance. It's a hell of a lot better than other shows on tv, and Rosie is of course the BEST!!!

[Ron]

Rosie O'Donnell is a loser, and it was obvious from the commercials that the show would be horrible. This is the same woman who joked and rejoiced in the fact that people she had a civil lawsuit against developed cancer. Even a run of the mill decent person can see that comments like that are in poor taste, and it shows what kind of a low-class piece of trash she really is.

When celebrities start shooting off their mouth about things like "I'm glad she got cancer. She was opposing me", that's when I turn the t.v. off. I'm amazed there's so many people that are supportive of such a horrible human being on this thread.

[Paul Cessna]

You hit the nail on the head. Thoose words were going through my head while watching the show. Why didn't I change tha channel....I don't know, I was expecting more.

[Timmy]

Not such a bad idea to bring back variety shows, but why would Rosie be the host? You want a mass appeal figure, not a polarizing one; as talented as Rosie may be she still alienates a huge constituency.

[Ed Haskell]

I don't like Rosie and I don't like NBC. I don't think network TV has an audience that will sustain a weekly variety show. I agree with all the bad things said about the show and I didn't even see the program.

But I do hope NBC lets Rosie continue with her show.

I have never enjoyed reading a blog as much as this one. Some of these comments are funnier than anything I have ever seen on network TV. This is very good entertainment. I will "tune in" again next week (to the blog). You don't even have to know the comments are about Rosie's show--some stand alone as very funny writing.

And, thank-you NBC.

[Jan]

This tired show Rosie put on, was the real turkey on an American holiday week we all hold dear. Rosie has a way of grabbing all the hilights for herself, and that gets a little old.

[Jan]

This half baked excuse of a TV show is about all Rosie has left Her presence is sad as it abuses the audience and fans...a real turkey this holiday season.

[Jan]

This half baked excuse of a TV show is about all Rosie has left Her presence is sad as it abuses the audience and fans...a real turkey this holiday season.

[Tim G.]

B O M B !!!

Put a fork in it, that turkey's dead.

Not only will it not revive the variety show, but it won't revive Rosie's career.

Sad.

[Bill Aubin]

Rosie's Starting to look like Roseann Barr!

[Steve N]

I predicted the show would be a miserable flop and boy was I ever right.
R.O. is not popular nor are any of the people she had on the show...unless you are an extreme left wing sort of person. This in itself will not get very many veiwers. Pushing the gay agenda was also predicted and that is NOT what the people of this great country want. Variety shows will work, with the right people....which Rosie aint.