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‘America’s Next Top Model’: The slow boat to hell

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Who got sent home on ‘America’s Next Top Model’ tonight? Click below to read all about it, or, dear L.A. readers, hold off until the episode airs Friday to avoid spoilage.

The thing that I found so enjoyable about ‘America’s Next Top Model’ contestant Elina Ivanova was that it seemed like she believed she was entering the competition as the cycle’s ‘wild girl,’ and it completely backfired. We’ve all known these girls whose bad self-esteem manifests itself in obnoxious ways, and Elina was no different. She strolled into the competition bragging about her tattoos and how her favorite hobby was seducing straight women. Yet who was the biggest crybaby when it came to the makeover challenge? Who had the hardest time finding her own identity during the competition? Even though I thought it was ridiculous when she said on tonight’s episode that tattoos are ‘the best way for me to express myself,’ maybe she was right, because she hasn’t found a better way. Hopefully she will find her path -- she is pretty and seems intelligent and after all is only 18 (which the judges were incredulous about). But moreover, pitting her against Marjorie in the bottom two after the clean-face/makeup face and go-see challenges seemed simply unfair. Marjorie Conrad’s extravagant shows of bad self-esteem are getting wearying, but that girl is simply much more of a model.

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Marjorie is going to torpedo herself if she doesn’t at least fake some confidence: I would pick her to win this cycle of the show except that her inability to function is rather ridiculous, especially for someone who seems so relaxed on camera on a nationally televised show. Thus I’m thinking McKey Sullivan will probably be the next big winner. She truly has a one-in-a-million face (whereas, let’s face it, many of the Top Models over the years haven’t been much more than pretty girls with good personalities, and sometimes not even that) and she seems to perform well in the challenges. The other girls obviously fear her or else they wouldn’t have cheered so heartily when she turned up late for the go-sees. My only complaint about her was that she seemed to have picked up some sort of strange ‘European’ accent this episode, but maybe that means Marjorie will have someone who can sympathize with her now that Elina is gone.

-- Claire Zulkey

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