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‘90210’: It’s about to hit the fan

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Well, now we’re talking. Finally an episode of “90210” I can get behind. Funny, emotional, chock-full of cliffhangers, and did I mention funny?

Of course, now we all have to wait until Jan. 6 for more. No new episodes until then. So cruel, CW.

How did the show get turned right upside down? What exactly will I be missing? Lots of groundwork has been laid, so diving right in:

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Who is Sean? It’s safe to say he’s probably not Harry’s son. His Southern drawl disappeared with that last mysterious phone call. Very “Desperate Housewives” of you, “90210.” I like. Looks like the little scammer’s mooching off the Wilsons! Naughty, naughty. Wait until Tabitha gets her hands on you.

Someone’s got morning sickness. OK, my original guess that it would be Brenda was wrong. Newly sober Adriana seems to be the one expecting. We saw her lose her lunch after she got a whiff of some hot dogs. Could Navid be the father? Hmmm, doubtful…

Speaking of Brenda … wait, she’s only in one more episode? Rumor has it she may have a terminal illness. But now that we’ve seen the explanation for the hospital bed -- she fell off a stage -- I think this is not likely. What are they going to do with her? Still rooting for an all-out cat fight between her and Kells. That would be a way to write her off the show. ... But let’s instead all hope that Shannen Doherty signs on for even more episodes.

Naomi finally goes bad … Up until now, Naomi’s been a whiny brat with bothersome nostrils, as opposed to just a brat I love to hate. But Tuesday night she delivered. First, she got to explain to counselor Kelly -- and in perfect Blair Waldorf fashion -- why she and Annie can’t be friends. “Well, it’s just that Annie is a whore and went out with my boyfriend behind my back -- after I asked her not to!” (Speaking of Blair, did anyone else find it a little coincidental that she also now has a maid for a sidekick? Doroda meet Penelope.) Now, she’s earned her keep in a very “Mean Girls”-esque clique, which is altogether very promising for the once-wannabe bad girl.

… while Dixon’s about to go bad. Dixon has been the most consistent of the “90210” kids. Funny, charming, a guy you could actually picture in the real world. When he and adoptive dad Harry worked out their father-son issues -- and Dixon’s race finally entered the picture -- you felt for him. But that sexy little cheerleader might be a problem for Silver, no?

There are still a few hiccups. Those back-to-back T-Mobile product placements were beyond awkward. Not all of Naomi’s digs were sharp (“Tip for the short: Wear heels.” Huh?) And not everyone’s a winner yet. Annie’s saccharine-sweet good-girl routine is pushing me to my breaking point. Either bad stuff goes down for Annie -- as we’ve been promised -- or she’ll go down in history as the Andrea of the new “90210”: boring and almost entirely unnecessary.

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And what about all the loose ends? Is Mr. Matthews (and his former ‘student’ and narc) coming back? What about Debbie? Is she going to have something to do besides being Harry’s dutiful wife? What will Kelly do if and when Brenda is gone?

We have seven weeks to ponder. Let me know what you thought of the episode in the comments section below.

-- Denise Martin

Related:
Tristan Wilds talks Dixon’s dilemma
Complete “90210” coverage

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