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'The Hills': Life without Spencer

Spencer

During the latest episode of "The Hills," Lauren wondered aloud: "Where do you think we'd all be if Heidi never met Spencer?"

Easy. Without Spencer, "The Hills" would not have turned into the hit it is today.

No one talks about -- or remembers -- the first season of the series. It was only when he arrived in all his cocky two-timing brashness that things got interesting -- read: messy -- for Lauren and her best pal, Heidi.

And as far as TV show-making goes (not to mention Lauren's reality show career) goes, that was a good thing.

But, one still has to wonder: Will Heidi never learn? Lauren may be many things, but she's 100% justified in being bewildered by Heidi's attraction to Spencer. And, let's face, she probably won't ever learn.

Just last week, she and Spencer made the media rounds. The terrible twosome bashed Whitney Port's (pricey!) new clothing line, slammed Charlize Theron for not getting down with "The Hills," and prayed for "victimized" VP candidate Sarah Palin.

Shameless self-promotion? Sure. (But I'll take it over this season so far.) Needless to say, hopeful (or hopeless?) viewers shouldn't wait for a reunion between Heidi and Lauren. It ain't happening. Even while Monday's episode really, really wanted to convince fans otherwise. Makes you wonder how many "Hills" watchers aren't keeping up with the real-time actual reality of their lives. . . .

Cut down to just the pertinent scenes, this is what it looked like:

Lauren debated having drinks with Holly, Heidi's younger sister, who she hopes isn't trying to play matchmaker between the former best friends. Housemate Lo concluded, "Well, drinks are harmless."

Over a meal, Holly misled Heidi into thinking that she stood a chance at getting back in Lauren's good graces and encouraged her to write a letter to Lauren. "[Lauren] knows who you are, she knows your heart . . . maybe she needs to be reminded."

Later that night at S Bar, Holly made a play to get Lauren to emphathize with Heidi. "She misses you a lot." Lauren explained that Heidi's past wrongs are "water under the bridge . . . but it changed our situation."

Lauren received a letter from Heidi and showed it to Whitney. It said:

I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am about everything. I'm so sorry for every negative or hurtful comment I've ever said. That is not how I feel or who I am. I think you are a great person and I will always cherish our memories. Thank you for everything you have ever done for me. I really wish things hadn't turned out this way but I take responsibility. This whole thing has also been really hard for me.
Sincerely,
Heidi Montag

Whitney thought the letter seemed genuine.

At Lauren's house for dinner, Holly asked Lauren if a reconciliation with Heidi was possible. Lauren said Heidi wasn't the problem: "I would love to be like, that's fine, but it's not about her. It's about the person she's always with."

Lauren later pondered: "Where do you think we'd all be if Heidi never met Spencer?"

Holly explained the situation -- that the friendship could happen again, just not with Spencer still in the picture -- to Heidi. Spencer weighed in: "I think it's great that you guys aren't friends. It's a win-win. If it's [Heidi's] fault or my fault, it's great that you do not have her in your life." Holly fired back: "The point is there is still a chance and since it doesn't involve you, it sounds like a great option."

Oh, Holly. You and your sis really did fall out of touch. And maybe she didn't have the Internet back home, but it's just not happening.

Meanwhile, in Audrinaland...

Audrina reported to Chiara that she has a date with Colin -- a former bull ride operator at Saddle Ranch -- and she's not telling Justin Bobby. "He doesn't tell me who he's dating." Chiara asked if Audrina hoped it would make him jeaous. "Well, maybe a little . . . [but] I don't have a ring on my finger."

Colin is "the happiest drunk."

Audrina starts off date No. 2 with Colin by again talking about Justin Bobby. And says they're not boyfriend-girlfriend, but says he's what's holding her back.

Audrina tells Justin Bobby about her "innocent" date. But Justin Bobby was less than impressed: "He went so far that he's not here. Ha ha."

But, as I just wrote about, Audrina's gotten a lot more action -- and a new role in a horror movie -- off camera.

-- Denise Martin

Photo credit: MTV

Related:

'The Hills': A midseason report card

 
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I think Holly is actually older than Heidi


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