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‘The Hills’: A midseason report card

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On tonight’s episode of “The Hills,” Lauren will report to Audrina that Heidi sent her a let’s-kiss-and-make-up-already letter. She’ll then wonder aloud what life would be like had Spencer never entered the picture.

Ah, yes, another “action-packed” half-hour is on the way.

But seriously, it’s just too bad the reality-show drama of the current fourth season has yet to live up to the actual reality happening off-camera.

On camera: Lauren dated and dumped the “strikingly handsomeDoug. Stephanie also dated but was dumped by Doug. Audrina dumped and reconciled with Justin Bobby. And Lo. And Lauren. Heidi’s sister Holly moved in. And Spencer upset both Holly and Mama Montag.

Off camera: Holly goes out with Doug! Lauren rings in her birthday in Vegas -- without Audrina! Brody patches things up with Stephanie! Audrina moves out of Casa Conrad!

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And the big ones … Lauren makes out with Justin Bobby! And Audrina and Heidi rekindle their friendship!

Perez Hilton reported on LC’s alleged make-out session with Audrina’s off-again-on-again beau Justin Bobby on Friday, and Lauren took to her blog almost immediately to deny everything:

‘This accusation is insulting on so many levels. I’m being accused of being a bad friend, a slut and a liar all at once. It would actually be funny to me if people weren’t taking it seriously...I have never even been in the same place as Justin when Audrina wasn’t around. I have been there for Audrina for years of ups and downs with this guy. Now she is accusing me of hooking up with him?? It’s the most awkward position to put me in because I can’t defend myself without putting both her and Justin down. Bottom line, I did not and would never hook up with Justin.’

Audrina fired back, but, perhaps more tellingly, didn’t say whether or not the rumors were true:

‘I’m not sure what to believe. Though Justin and I have not been exclusive for quite some time, these rumors are very confusing and hurtful. I can’t comment on whether they are true or false.’

Then this morning, Perez posted pictures of Audrina and Heidi sitting down for a bite to eat.

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If only the show was this juicy.

And you know that things off-camera are just going to get more messy. Us Weekly is reportedly splashing Lauren’s new feud -- first Heidi, now Audrina -- on an upcoming cover. Maybe MTV could give both Whitney and Audrina their own spinoffs?

“The Hills” reality show: C
“The Hills” reality: A-

What do you think? Which is more fun to watch: The show or the media coverage of it?

-- Denise Martin

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