‘The Biggest Loser’: A three-hankie elimination

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“The Biggest Loser” eliminations are always good for at least one lump-in-the-throat moment. But tonight’s was a downright tear-jerker.

Before we get to that, though, Heba and Ed are right, they’d better work hard to stay above that yellow line because they’ve both got bull’s-eyes on their backs. The orange team won the temptation -– which earned them the right to stay in a swank, pimped-out RV while the rest of the contestants roughed it in tents and sleeping bags during a road trip to the Grand Canyon. Then, they won a swank, pimped-out RV during the challenge.

The trip to the Grand Canyon was remarkable for three reasons: First, the contestants completely dropped the ball –- literally -– on exercising. Which I don’t get. If you knew you’d face the wrath of Jillian and Bob when you returned wouldn’t you offer to swap places with the first pack mule that walked by just to burn off as many calories as possible?

Bob put it best: This is the Grand Canyon, people! Hike, run, do sit-ups, burpees. Just do something other than laze around.

Second, the trip was remarkable because it was Coleen’s 24th birthday. It was touching to see just how close this group has become as they went around the campfire circle to tell her how much she had meant to them all. Her father, Jerry, was too choked up to speak, but she told him that he didn’t need to put it into words. She already knew. Awwww.

Third, it was remarkable because Amy mistook a Coleman portable gas stove for a laptop computer. (In her defense, the mother-and-daughter purple team admitted up front that they were not cut out for roughing it.)

As expected, Jillian and Bob were mad, mad, mad to find out that their teams had basically spent the week on vacation. And it showed during the weigh-ins. Phil and Amy, the red team, managed to land on top this week –- by losing only 15 pounds.

There was also a diabolical twist to this weigh in: Only one team would fall below the yellow line, and those two teammates would have to choose between themselves which one of them would be going home alone.

This season of ‘The Biggest Loser’ asks whether the bonds are stronger between the family you’re born into –- Jillian’s team of parents and children -- or sworn into. That would be Bob’s team made up of husbands and wives.

But it quickly became every man –- and woman -– for themselves at the prospect of this latest twist. Vicky, for one, made clear who would be staying put if she and her husband fell below the yellow line: “Brady can go home and do it on his own ... I’m going to finish it.”

Alas, it was the yellow team that fell below the yellow line. Jerry, who tore his hamstring and was suffering dangerous swelling to his leg, ended up gaining two pounds. Yikes. His daughter Coleen lost seven. It was a measure of their relationship that the two spent the hour leading up to the elimination each tearfully arguing why the other should stay. (Vicky, take note.)

Jerry, who has struggled with his weight his whole life, said he wished he’d been given such a chance when he was Coleen’s age. He also said he didn’t know if he could soldier on without her: ‘If you went home and I was here, I couldn’t function ... knowing that an opportunity for one of my children ... ‘

‘For once just worry about yourself, Dad! ... I want to get married. I want you to be there to walk down the aisle,’ Coleen said, arguing that Jerry needed the training, medical attention and diet regimen more than she.

In the end, Jerry went home.

Pass me another tissue, please.

-- Rene Lynch