'Lost': And the dead guy is ... Jeremy Bentham?!?

Chat about "Lost" here at noon PST. on Friday, May 30.

"Lost's" fourth season ended in a flurry of action, a few major revelations and whole lot of familiar beats. As a season-ender, it ranks below last year's game-changing flash-forward shocker and Season 2's four-toed statue and listening station surprise. (Speaking of the statue, I demand that be addressed next year.) But it's well above the disappointing hatch-opening at the end of season 1.

The biggest shock, of course, was the identity of the person in the coffin at the end of last season. As we learn at the beginning of the episode, the bearded Jack exists three years ahead of the just-rescued Jack. Which puts the flash-forwards somewhere around 2008. And according to Kate in 2008, the man in the coffin is Jeremy Bentham. Don't feel slow if you had to rack your brains the first time you heard the name; I thought I had missed something as well. It wasn't until a few scenes later, when Hurley alluded to Sayid that Bentham was a pseudonym, that I began to feel a little relief. There's a lot of loose ends on this show to keep track of, and I think we all live with a little fear that we've completely forgotten some important clue. (But we haven't forgotten about that statue.) Bentham, it turns out, is just a pseudonym for none other than John Locke.

The Locke twist was reserved for the very last scene in the episode, but anyone multitasking while watching could have easily figured this out through a Google search. Bentham was a noted 19th century philosopher whose main claim to fame was his advocacy of utilitarianism -- a belief that the morality of any action is dictated by its utility to the overall happiness of the group. In other words, the ends justify the means. Bentham's rejection of the traditional view of individual rights was a reversal from the beliefs of such 17th century philosophers as John Locke. In the three years between his ascendancy as the leader of the Others and his death, it seems Locke underwent a pretty major change in his value system. Just what happened on that island after he moved it? 

But enough about dead philosophers. What about the action?

"So You Think You Can Dance": The tryouts continue in Charleston and DC

Aside from the art they produce onstage, the dancers on "So You Think You Can Dance" tend to be an enjoyable lot to watch on TV. While the Snuggle "Happy Dance" feature of the audition episodes is pretty cheesy, it highlights what makes the dancers so watchable. They're real performers, trained to use their entire bodies to convey messages to their audience. Nigel Lythgoe isn't just being a typical guy when he praises a comely performer's face: He's complimenting her for using her whole self in her performance. That's why the judges got on Marcus Shield's case for dancing beautifully but keeping a morose expression. It's just genuine fun to watch the dancers goof around before the auditions or explode with joy after an intense performance.  It could be considered hammy if it didn't seem so real. 

'Top Chef': Down to the final four

As much as I'd hoped to see Lisa go last night, the Final Four has been chosen and she's one of them. And when it came down to her performance last night versus Spike's, I suppose she was the lesser of two evils.

Frozen. Scallops. Not much left to say after that. Actually, there is. Forget that they were frozen, they looked torn-up and horrible! No amount of technical prowess in the kitchen could have saved them. I did, however, enjoy him nailing Rick Tramonto for even having frozen scallops at his restaurants -- for shame, Rick! (Ted Allen blogs most eloquently on the cons of using frozen seafood, while Tom Colicchio explains why it was in Rick's kitchen in the first place.)

I do give Spike total props for the way he butchered that massive rib roast. Wow.

To be fair, it didn't really matter whether it was Spike or Lisa who'd fill the last spot anyway; it should have gone to Dale. Neither have proven themselves to be real contenders for the title. Lisa is a poor technician, period. She may do some interesting things with her flavor profiles -- I would have tried that peanut butter mashed potato concoction -- but if she can't produce (or reproduce) her dishes with competent and consistent execution, her ideas matter little.

And that brings us to the Final Three, each of whom proved themselves in last night's stripped down challenge. Let's talk who should win...

"So You Think You Can Dance": The judges not doing their happy dance

While the judges on "So You Think You Can Dance" tend to be more straightforward, optimistic and knowledgeable about the subject matter than those on that other, more famous reality competition on Fox, it doesn't mean that they don't get crabby from time to time, and plenty of dancers on Wednesday night's audition episode tested their patience. Subpar dancers with subpar attitudes were accused of wasting everyone's time, of not really dancing, of executing a joke merely by being there.  And on "SYTYCD" it's not just the British chap who delivers the bad news: Mary Murphy was quite sharp-tongued on the episode, even having to be covered up by the censor's blue button. 

'Lost': Behind-the-scenes secrets from reading the uncensored scripts

Reading “Lost” is very different from watching “Lost.”

To prepare for a feature about this time-defying season, “Lost” producers allowed The Times to view the written word.  That is, we read scripts instead of watching rough cuts.

We quickly realized that, on the page, “Lost” is quite a different show — it made us blush a little.  That’s because the “Lost” scribes do not hold back in print. Life on the island is dirty and sweaty … and profane!

Our favorite characters cannot cuss on ABC, so the writers do it for them, sometimes in the directions, sometimes parenthetically in dialogue.  The one constant is how frequently the f-bombs flow.  Remember the beautiful opening scene of the May 15 episode? The one in which the Oceanic 6 are seen in the helicopter arriving at civilization? That alone had three f-words.

Why do the writers take this approach on a broadcast TV show?

'Hell's Kitchen': Jen gives us a headache, too

Looks like "Hell's Kitchen" needs a new work-flow chart.

Matt's back on the Blue Team.

Jen's back on the Red Team.

Former archenemies Christina and Corey are now banding together -- against Jen.

Louross goes home. The piggy Petrozza lives to see another elimination. And Bobby's boast -- that he'd take it all and become Gordon Ramsay's newest second-in-command -- is looking less outlandish with each passing challenge.

'Lost': A DVR warning on the season finale

Attention time shifters! (What an appropriate term for those of us who DVR the time-looping adventures of the "Lost" survivors.)

According to Los Angeles ABC affiliate KABC's website, the finals of the Scripps National Spelling Bee will be airing 8-10 p.m. Thursday, leaving just one hour for the season finale of "Lost."

We all know "Lost" is supposed to end with a jaw-dropping two-hour finale, so what gives?

According to a spokesperson from KABC, the season finale will be airing on KABC as originally planned, 9-11 p.m., with a one-hour retrospective airing at 8 p.m. The spelling bee will be on Friday night.

But we're not out of the woods yet. The TV listings on KABC's website, provided by Titan TV Media, still list the spelling bee on Thursday night, and if you have your DVR season pass set for "Lost," the erroneous listing info may cause you to get just one hour of the finale. (One reader has already written me to report that her DVR is set for only one hour currently.)

The people at KABC say they are looking into the problem, and things may turn out for the best. But just in case, you might want to double-check your DVR schedule and manually set it to record on Thursday night.

Or just watch it live. Something tells me you won't want to wait to see Locke "move the island."

-- Patrick Kevin Day

'So You Think You Can Dance': Guinness record-setting Dance Dance Revolution event

When it comes to auditioning before "So You Think You Can Dance" executive producer and judge Nigel Lythgoe, it helps to stand out. "Whenever you can attach a label to somebody, you stand a chance of being successful,” revealed Lythgoe during an interview last week. “So we’ll say 'farmboy,' 'rollerskate girl,' 'big-boob girl,' 'small-bum girl,' you know, anything.”

But on the season premiere of "So You Think You Can Dance” on Thursday night, being "underwear guy" wasn't such a good thing. When a dancer took to the stage in tighty-whiteys and nothing more, Nigel was too distracted to judge and rejected the scantily clad contestant. "It was a bold statement," admitted the dancer after hearing the news. "I'll try something more – uh – clothed next year."

And underwear guy was hardly the only stand-out at auditions. Returning rejects "Gold Inferno" and "Sex" also took to the stage again Thursday – and got rejected anew. The rejects were as wily as ever when they got sent home. "They're racist against tall people," insisted one especially livid reject.

But not everybody at auditions went home angry. Lythgoe proclaimed one dancer "my favorite dancer of 2008," and the judges all agreed that another had "the 'it' factor.”

'American Idol' makeup guru Mezhgan Hussainy tells all

“I love the big transformations,” gushed “American Idol” makeup guru Mezhgan Hussainy in a phone interview last week.  Every season, as we watch country cuties like Carrie Underwood morph into full-blown superstars, Mezhgan is the woman behind the blush brush. This year, Mezhgan was most impressed by Syesha Mercado’s transformation from bohemian queen to old-Hollywood glamorpuss.

But it’s not just the ladies who  benefit from Mezhgan’s artistry.  The gentlemen clock some serious time in her makeup chair as well.  Mezhgan disguises their perpetual exhaustion with primer, foundation, and a little bit of bronzer.  But the “Idol” men weren’t always as bronzer-friendly as they are today.  Season 2’s Ruben Studdard, for instance, wasn’t having it. “I remember when I said, ‘I’m ready for you in makeup,” laughed Mezhgan.  “He was like, ‘Uh, what are you talking ‘bout?’”

But this season’s men aren’t just accepting, they’re enthusiastic. David Archuleta, for instance, once asked Mezhgan if she thought he needed a dusting of bronzer on his neck. Mezhgan inspected Archie and decided he was right. “Good call!” Mezhgan exclaimed, and “put a little bronzer around his collar.” 

And don’t be fooled be his dreadlocks and lazy demeanor; Jason Castro embraced Mezhgan’s makeup case as well.  According to Mezhgan, he fell hard for the eyelash curler, which made his blue eyes “pop,” without the use of mascara. “Now he insists on it,” said Mezhgan. “There’s no way we can forget about it.”

For the women, eyelashes are a tricky subject.  Mascara and false lashes must be able to survive torrential downpours.  “If they cry, the mascara's gonna be running,” sighed Mezhgan.  Plus, the women wear false eyelashes, and Mezhgan has to “make sure their eyelashes aren’t falling off up there.”  When you look back at all of the sobbing ladies we’ve seen over the last seven seasons of “Idol,” it’s a wonder we’ve never watched a wayward false lash flutter to the floor. 

'American Idol' finalists David Cook and David Archuleta on girls, video games and more

"I just wanna make a record that's gonna make the hair on the back of your neck stand up," exclaimed newly crowned "American Idol," David Cook, during a conference call with the media this morning.  When asked when he would recover from the exhaustion and excitement of it all, Cook replied, "Hopefully never."

Throughout the competition, Cook's mentality has been "hope for the best, expect the worst."  After all, following Tuesday's performance, the general sentiment was that Cook's rival, David Archuleta, had won the night. Believe it or not, Cook agreed.  "I definitely thought if you were basing it off of Tuesday, [Archuleta] deserved to win. He came out and did three amazing songs," recalled Cook. 

After his big win, Cook stopped by the "Idol" after-party with none other than his family. Throughout the call, Cook's family was at the front of his mind.  Cook even mentioned the possibility of a collaboration with his musician brother. "I've left the option open, and I'm kinda leaving it up to him," Cook explained, adding that he hopes that his brother will come hang out with him on tour, if only for "a short stint."

After all, Cook's brother was the one who persuaded him to attend the "Idol" audition in the first place. "He has been my No. 1 supporter from Day One," emphasized David Cook, "and has routinely told me how proud he is of me." When asked what he had given his brother in return, Cook replied, "Inadvertently, I'm responsible for getting him into video games."  Hmmm, sounds like one of the Cooks is getting the short end of the stick here.