'American Idol' Banter: Sayonara, Syesha

Sometimes, things turn out just like you thought they would. That new program manager you thought was flirting with you over at the water cooler asks you out. You cut out carbs and lose 5 pounds. Keeping the Tater Mitts gloves you bought after watching that infomercial and treating Mom to a pedicure instead guarantees you a happier Mother's Day. And the two "American Idol" finalists everyone was betting on, at least since the moody and glorious Carly Smithson felt the blade a month ago, are indeed battling for the crown next week.

David Archuleta and David Cook -- the clean teen versus the Bed Head by TIGI-coiffed rocker -- should make for a final round marked by big notes and bitten lips. Both young fellows looked kinda sick after learning they'd be going on, in contrast to departing Syesha Mercado, who kept her Miss World smile frozen in place as she delivered yet another pitch-perfect, stylish performance, reprising "If I Ain't Got You" by Alicia Keys.

In her hometown visit, her dad bravely reminded the world that he'd struggled with drugs and alcohol, and suddenly, we all remembered -- Syesha's not part-robot because she's evil, but because she's been holding it together as her family's struggled for God knows how long.

Darn! We should have voted for you, girl. Instead we're stuck with gosh-monger Archuleta and shrug-meister Cook, who announced last night that he'd never even meant to try out for "Idol" -- he just did it, apparently, to torment his poor younger brother, Andrew, who had dragged him along to the auditions for moral support. Poor Andrew! There's a place for you dude, in your bro's future. It might be on the roadie bus, but you'll still get to meet plenty of hot girls. And direct them toward David.

Okay, I'm being flip now. It will be a great final: historic, thrilling, et cetera. In truth, I have no idea how next week will shake down. It could be utterly predictable; it could be a train wreck.

One scary possibility is that David the Younger will collapse completely under the force of David the Elder's gale force alternative-rock attack. Another, perhaps more likely, possibility is that the finale will radiate toxic cognitive dissonance -- these two strivers are so fundamentally different that a competition between them seems almost ridiculous. Until now, a buffer existed between them, but next week, this season's multiple-personality disorder will be on full display, as the "Star Search" paradigm collides with that of "Rock Star: Supernova."

But then, that's a lot like the entertainment business these days: increasingly decentered, full of weird success stories, and strangely, sadly devoid of the unifying power that once made music culture a force for change. "Idol" really is a mirror, it turns out, though not a very heartening one into which to gaze. But more on that next week. For now, it's time to brush up on my inspirational soft-rock ballads and anthemic post-grunge anthems. I have a feeling next week is going to turn out just like I thought it would.

P.S.: A special thanks to Fantasia Barrino for reminding "Idol" viewers what musical excitement looks and sounds like with her fiery, funky rendition of "Bore Me (Yawn)," from her last album. Unpredictable, raw, dangerously close to chaotic, Fantasia's performance recalled how the best music on television once felt -- like something breaking through the screen. Simon, of course, looked horrified. Thank goodness he wasn't a judge at Janis Joplin's audition.

-- Ann Powers

Photo courtesy of Fox

Comments

[tamzin]

Fantasia was not singing, but screeching, honestly I thought she sounded terrible. It was over the top and manic

[Diane Ballard]

Surely you jest in your reference to Fantasia's performance last night? That was the worst performance I have ever had the displeasure of seeing. It bordered on embarrassing. You see, I thought Fantasia was going to sing, but it turns out we were treated to her back up singers do all the singing. Fantasia was too busy screaming and and trying to get the audience to clap along so they wouldn't notice the hideous color of her hair and her the fact that she wasn't singing, occasionally throwing in a Yeah, Uh-huh, come on y'all. Perhaps she such a big talent now that she's taking tips from P. Diddy, who normally puts out a song with much more talented people doing all the work, while he provides the flash, and no substance.

[Nancyb]

Fantasia came a long way. She is known, not only for her talent, but her being nice. Daughtry, known for talent and open and honest personality. Yamin, Elliott, Mr. Nice Guy and doing well thank you. Syesha will also do well, perhaps another Jennifer Hudson. So now to the 2 Davids. Does it really matter who wins? What matters is will those that call in purchase their CDs. Will either of them survive the first year of success? I am actually betting both will. American Idol is not a show. It's an experience; a vote for underdogs in life to succeed in the fantasy world of succes. So those of us who participate in the mundane day to day live can live vicariously through them.....that they were once who we remain.

[james]

Next week on American Idol...
The most boring night on television!

[George Kaplan]

Simon's face seen during Fantasia's "song" was hilarious and mimicked the faces in our household. The performance was a tsunami of energy, but nothing I would sit through a second time, even for free. It was atrocious.

Oh, and Ann: "anthemic post-grunge anthems"? Did you want to take a mulligan on that redundant phrase, or simply fire the intern who wrote it?

[Mariangela]

I totally loved Fantasia last night! Her natural and exuberant energy, her performing talent, her originality and stage presence. She was awesome crazy FUN!!! She made the show worth watching. Otherwise, it would have been one of the most boring Idol nights ever. I really think Fantasia saved the show last night and gave everybody a lesson of what a true Idol should be about.

[Charles Sergis]

Thank you, Idol judges, for saving me two hours next week--or is it four?
I would rather watch Senator Harry Reid and Larry King discuss crocheting
and embroidery than watch the two Davids.

The producers and judges, who did everything they could to sabotage Syesha, must think their audience is composed entirely of 11-year-old girls. Good luck with selling that demographic to advertisers who, unless they have taken leave of their senss and love of profit, should shut down this show immediately.

Syesha is more talented and entertaining than the two Davids added together and multiplied by a billion. And she is not even a finished product yet. Any music producer who understands music--not preeteeny-bopper trash--can polish Syesha into an outstanding gem. She was easily the best of the ,three finalists. A couple of other girls were much better than the Davids too, and might have outdistanced Syesha if they had not been eliminated early because the judges are so determined to promote BAAAD
singing.

[Marvelle Karahadian]

You're being flip now Ann? That's all you ever are!

[delta 7777]

Really stupid situation....Syesha should have been kept--Archie dumped!

If Archie wins, Idol is dead meat--I don't think that anyone over 14 will be willing to endure another season of any program that has become a "TwinkieTeens" popularity contest....

It will be painful to watch the last show, probably won't even bother.

[The Dude]

It may not be politically correct to say it, but Fantasia's performance was freakish and painful to watch. I hope I never have to endure anything like that again.

[Housefrau]

I agree Fantasia's performance had energy, noise and bright color-- it was what I've always imagined a migraine must feel like. I think the David v. David finale will finally let us see if the tweens rule American Idol. If they do, David A. will win. If the rest of America (i.e., those of us over the age of 12) actually decide to vote, David C. will win. Either way, I think David C. will end up selling more records than David A.

[dan s]

Fantasia's performance was off the hook great! She was possessed! It was way better than ANY of the performances by the contestants this entire season. She really showed us what it means to be a great entertainer.

[Desert Dreamer]

Fantasia was horrible. I still to this day do not understand how she won. Maybe it was the sympathy vote. She was so obnoxious last night. Can't believe they make someone like that rich. It's a crime.

[kathyJ]

Fantasia rocked the house off it's foundation. It was fresh and raw - much the way I'd imagine it was like to watch Tina Turner many years ago. This competition had been pretty boring up til she got on the stage.

[Tim]

Fantasia's performance was a tsunami of funk, soul, rythm and raw, distilled sexual energy. It transformed her in five minutes from a distant memory to a reinvigorated superstar. For those who didn't get it, that's ok- you either have soul in your soul, or you don't. I personally tuned in to the rerun of Idol the same night solely to watch Fantasia rock it again.

I suspect those who didn't like her performance would be more comfortable watching say Billy Ray Cyrus or Johhny Cash. To each his own.

Syesha I think was shamefully undermined. Simon and Paula had apparently already made up their minds who they wanted in the final, and very overtly tried to sway the voting against her, insterad of sticking to giving their opinions. It was blatant, shameful favoritism. They BOTH explicitly said that she would be going home. Wasn't that for the voters to decide?

Archuletta is atrociously boring. He is a one-note wonder with zero star potential (like last year's winner- what's her name again?), while Syesha became more vibrant, sexy and entertaining with each show. At first, I hated her, but she gradually won me over.

The final should have been David Cook vs Syesha.

[Sylvia]

Fantasia was wonderful. It was so exciiting to see someone who knows how to work a crowd. This is what a star looks like: Exciting Dynamic and Unpredictable!!

[Sara]

Ann - I really enjoy your columns, but... 'pitch-perfect' as a description of a Syesha performance? Not only does the woman screech, scream and shriek, but she does it as off-key and flat as can be. Why don't you watch her again?

[Violet]

I don't see how Carly was moody. Wow. You guys must've really not seen through that television. With these shows, its so much more accurate to choose the winner if you can see through how television portrays a contestants. Don't be so gullible. Make your own opinions. Listen to the music first without looking. Don't worry about what other people say and base your opinons off of your own heart. Carly was so pressured from the start to beat herself every week and everyone knows how high of a standard that is. All that pressure gave her no time to focus on who she is and making sure America sees it. All she wanted to do was give her very best performance every week and when she finally found a balance, she was sent home prematurely. So yeah. America saw the love of Carly and sent her home because it was too late. But that's ok. She's going to go very far anyways. <3 for Carly!