'The Hills': With friends like these ...

Audrina may not be the sharpest tool, but does she really need a “friend” like Lauren?

Lauren may get to narrate “The Hills,” but I think I speak for everyone when I say the series has turned on our fair narrator, who has reverted to a sniffling, green-eyed high schooler this season. (In fact, we’re going back to calling her by her high school nickname, LC, from now on.)

So without further ado, an open letter to LC …

LC, It’s time to move on. Heidi has. (And what kind of world are we living in when Heidi is the grown-up one?) We’re over LC vs. Heidi.

How is it fair for you, LC, to befriend Stephanie, sister of your sworn enemy Spencer, who once confronted you in a nightclub in defense of her brother, but Audrina can’t reunite with Heidi? I smell a hypocrite in these hills.

What’s worse, it seems as though everyone else around you is evolving. Heidi is Ms. Female Empowerment. Stephanie, our favorite “Hills” informant, sailed her olive branch over to you while letting Spencer crash in her apartment. Whitney matriculated from Teen Vogue (albeit to more grunt work). Brody got himself a new steady. Spencer’s giving Heidi her space (for the most part). Even Justin -- “It’s time to get my priorities straight” -- Bobby has given up the belching, started showering and has gotten a new ’do.

They all make you rather dull in your 24-hour Heidi hate. Not just dull, but downright bratty. I’m pretty sure I wasn’t the only viewer who threw her pillow (or, ya know, something) at her TV set when you started moaning -- “Will you kidnap me please?” “Oh my god, I need to leave this table immediately,” -- after Heidi squeezed into your table at Goa.

After Audrina caught up with Justin Bobby on a friend-date, your first question to her was “Did he burp in your face?” Not very friend-like. You followed that up with, of course, “Seems like you and Heidi are friendly again.” Yikes.

And now that Heidi has soiled your pad by hanging with Audrina in it for a few moments last week, you want to move out? Into a house? Oh sure, you say you’re bored by your West Hollywood apartment. And yes, you did get that spanking new job as model-herder for People’s Revolution. (But seriously, Mama and Papa Conrad, you're too kind.)

Why is poor Audrina in your cross hairs? Sure, you asked her to move in with you and Lo, but not before you harped all over her “dirty” boyfriends behind her back and told Lo how much fun it would be to continue doing so when you both are her roommates.

Looks like someone other than Justin Bobby needs to get their priorities straight.

--Denise Martin

(Photo courtesy AP)

Comments

[lauren]

i think this is so funny. it is all completely scripted-every single one of these "characters" are eating this up while it lasts. They know that this is what people want to see and thet are just making $$$$...if you ask me, i think they are all very bright or have the right people backing them and telling them what to do.
as for the comments about "there is a war going on..." this isn't the place for it, if you have the time and interest to even read AND comment on this article, than shut it!

[maura]

Have we all forgotten that although it's "reality" it's edited for television?

Lauren doesn't have any more control on what is shown than anyone on that show. If she comes across as stagnant or unevolving, it's MTV's fault.

Lauren still rocks. Heidi is still a tool.

[mell]

if it is scripted, why are we saying lauren has a bad personality. it must be that she is a wonderful actress? i do not think you can really judge a person's character if they are acting on a scripted drama. and since when does 21 mean you have to be mature, i work with people who are 45 and they act more childish than some people i know. so if you really think about it, isn't it human nature to be rude to someone you dislike. i'm sorry but if i'm told someone started a rumour about me, and they have no proof they didn't and they flip-flop on whether they did or not. i probably wouldn't want to sit by them at a club either, especially if they are sitting there complaining about how i'm not saying hi.

if you ask me, we should take this show for what it really is.... scripted. stop judging the personalities of actors. :D

[Cary]

What's up with the comment about Lauren's parents being too kind in reference to the new house? Do you really think that Lauren's only sources of income is her "model herder" and her parents? Do you have any idea how much money she makes from her show & her clothing line, + other MTV Hills stuff. The girl is set!

[umn]

Arent you supposed to be reporting the news? GROW UP.

[SavingDiva]

I totally stopped watching the Hills because Lauren is so annoying! I can't stand Heidi...and Audrina is a horrible actress!

[Bobbie]

Denise.. Danielle.. whatever right?

&newsflash.. it's not scripted.. but they do have people who do their hair and makeup and dress them and yada yada and big freakin deal.. you'd probably take the chance if you had it too!

[Dave]

Is someone kidding me with all this "serious" analysis of a SCRIPTED SHOW?!?! And one that's terribly written at that.

What's next, an open letter to, say, Sandra Oh's character in "Gray's Anatomy" telling her she'd be a better doctor if only she'd work on her bedside manner?

COME ON, YOU IDIOTS! This show is a waste of tape, and all the characters on it are complete fools. And so are you for watching it more than once (as I did).

[Marianna]

I think what's happening to Lauren is sad cause she's alway's been bestfriend to all her friend's and I think what Audrina is a Tool!!!
As for Miss,Heidi she's got ball's that's all I have to say and I'm totally loving what Spencer's doing!!!

[v]

leave her be. it is her decision, her life. you cant tell anyone to do. it is her who needs to make decisions for herself not you all.

[Melissa]

I don't understand how Lauren is made to be this immature and hateful person. I agree that all of the drama has been blown out of proportion but Lauren is not the only person to have their share of immaturity. In the new promo for next week's episode of The Hills, it shows Heidi giving Stephanie a hard time for attending Lauren's house warming party. The last episode showed that Lauren doesn't have a problem with Justin as long as he is respectful of and towards Audrina. Lauren is clearly not holding a grudge towards Stephanie because she is Spencer's sister and because of how she acted towards her during the last season. I can honestly say that if I were Lauren it would be a cold day in hell before I reconciled any friendship that I ever had with Heidi. She stays with that tool Spencer and acts like anything that he has said or done is ok because she didn't say it. By staying with him and not sticking up for her friend she's just as guilty. Heidi knows that Spencer is in the wrong but for some reason cannot fathom to admit it. Sticking up for the wrong person, not admitting any wrongdoing, and feigning ignorannce is the reason that Lauren will never forgive Heidi.

[Cynthia]

Why should LC try to be "friends" with a person who maliciously spread rumors about there being a "SEX TAPE"? I wouldn't want to be friends again ...EVER with a person like that.
If Audrina was supposed to be a FRIEND to LC and KNEW what Heidi did to LC ( RE: sex tape) what kind of friend does that make Audrina to LC? All of a sudden that act SPEIDI did to Lauren is Okay? Would LO go out and (befriend) Heidi KNOWING what she did to LC regarding the SEX TAPE RUMORS? NO.....
And let's be honest...Ricky Bobby...I mean Justin Bobby...is a slob. He doesn't shower, he burps in your face, he picks up other girls while out on a date with Audrina, LC is only trying to be a good friend to Audrina by making her sentiments known. I wouldn't want to hang around him either. It makes you wonder...how insecure Audrina is to date a man of his stature?

[Cynthia]

Why should LC try to be "friends" with a person who maliciously spread rumors about there being a "SEX TAPE"? I wouldn't want to be friends again ...EVER with a person like that.
If Audrina was supposed to be a FRIEND to LC and KNEW what Heidi did to LC ( RE: sex tape) what kind of friend does that make Audrina to LC? All of a sudden that act SPEIDI did to Lauren is Okay? Would LO go out and (befriend) Heidi KNOWING what she did to LC regarding the SEX TAPE RUMORS? NO.....
And let's be honest...Ricky Bobby...I mean Justin Bobby...is a slob. He doesn't shower, he burps in your face, he picks up other girls while out on a date with Audrina, LC is only trying to be a good friend to Audrina by making her sentiments known. I wouldn't want to hang around him either. It makes you wonder...how insecure Audrina is to date a man of his stature?

[joey]

I am so OVER Lauren!

She seriously has a lot of gowning up to do and needs to stay out of everyones business!

[MAYA]

Just because Lauren hates Heidi, Audrina can't be friends with her? This is highschool bull crap. And now that Audrina is getting friendly with Heidi, Lauren is getting jealous. DRAMA.

[Cheryl]

I agree with Kyran! Lauren didn't have a problem until Heidi started talking about her again! Nothing will or should change between them until Heidi first acknowledge that she was wrong for talking about Lauren on all those radio appearance AND saying (falsely) that Lauren has a sex tape. Byotch!

P.S. Is "Denise Martin" Heidi's publist?

[Victoria]

This seriously proves to the world more and more that people in California are fake and superficial and have no goals in life but to surround it with fake, dumb women and fake scripts. No wonder Hollywood has gone down to dump if this what you all worship and live to watch on TV. Get a life because California, you sure are living up to your reputation!

[please]

Guys, drama is what makes television. This show is hardly a reality, except for their real names. The drama that goes on between the cast members (yes they're a cast) is scripted by writers.

If everybody were friends there'd be no show, cause god knows nothing else happens in this show.

The Hills is a good example of the MTV generation gone STUPID! At least in Jackass people bruised from their stunts. This show is lame and all of you who take it seriously should try to open your minds to more captivating and less "FLUFF" stuff.

Less time into the hills, MORE time making YOUR lives more fulfilling.

[m*]

uuummm .... u guys know that everything in the hills is fake right lauren conrad is just something like an 'actress ' there if you can call it an actress
you wouldn't blame other actors or actresses for bad things they do in movies because it's just a role .... so get yourselves a life and stop disgussing stupid reality shows :D

[daisie]

we all seem to be forgetting that the Hills is a "realitly TV show" aka FAKE! so obviously there is going to be drama and fights and opinions on the show, it's staged for TV. Has the sun gotten to all of the people who watch the Hills in LA???