'The Hills': With friends like these ...

Audrina may not be the sharpest tool, but does she really need a “friend” like Lauren?

Lauren may get to narrate “The Hills,” but I think I speak for everyone when I say the series has turned on our fair narrator, who has reverted to a sniffling, green-eyed high schooler this season. (In fact, we’re going back to calling her by her high school nickname, LC, from now on.)

So without further ado, an open letter to LC …

LC, It’s time to move on. Heidi has. (And what kind of world are we living in when Heidi is the grown-up one?) We’re over LC vs. Heidi.

How is it fair for you, LC, to befriend Stephanie, sister of your sworn enemy Spencer, who once confronted you in a nightclub in defense of her brother, but Audrina can’t reunite with Heidi? I smell a hypocrite in these hills.

What’s worse, it seems as though everyone else around you is evolving. Heidi is Ms. Female Empowerment. Stephanie, our favorite “Hills” informant, sailed her olive branch over to you while letting Spencer crash in her apartment. Whitney matriculated from Teen Vogue (albeit to more grunt work). Brody got himself a new steady. Spencer’s giving Heidi her space (for the most part). Even Justin -- “It’s time to get my priorities straight” -- Bobby has given up the belching, started showering and has gotten a new ’do.

They all make you rather dull in your 24-hour Heidi hate. Not just dull, but downright bratty. I’m pretty sure I wasn’t the only viewer who threw her pillow (or, ya know, something) at her TV set when you started moaning -- “Will you kidnap me please?” “Oh my god, I need to leave this table immediately,” -- after Heidi squeezed into your table at Goa.

After Audrina caught up with Justin Bobby on a friend-date, your first question to her was “Did he burp in your face?” Not very friend-like. You followed that up with, of course, “Seems like you and Heidi are friendly again.” Yikes.

And now that Heidi has soiled your pad by hanging with Audrina in it for a few moments last week, you want to move out? Into a house? Oh sure, you say you’re bored by your West Hollywood apartment. And yes, you did get that spanking new job as model-herder for People’s Revolution. (But seriously, Mama and Papa Conrad, you're too kind.)

Why is poor Audrina in your cross hairs? Sure, you asked her to move in with you and Lo, but not before you harped all over her “dirty” boyfriends behind her back and told Lo how much fun it would be to continue doing so when you both are her roommates.

Looks like someone other than Justin Bobby needs to get their priorities straight.

--Denise Martin

(Photo courtesy AP)

Comments

[gooooooo]

This article is so ridiculous. How has Lauren not "gotten over it". There's nothing to get over. There are some people you just DO NOT LIKE. It's Lauren's choice of who she wants to be around and who she likes...not yours or mine. And to me...Lauren is being REAL in not wanting to be around Heidi (obviously throwing herself on Justin Bobby to spite her). She handled the situation very well. Further, Heidi is the one GRAVELLING at Lauren's feet. Like Stephanie said...at least Audrina is friends with you. But no...wah wah Heidi wants Lauren. NEWSFLASH: you can't just treat people any ole' way. Heidi is learning she is not the Queen...I'm glad both SPencer and Lauren are putting her in her place.

[youknowit72]

The Whole show would be so much better if they just write Heidi out of the whole damn thing ..she gets enough attention with the photographers she pays to have follow her..gag me!

[Elysia]

I have been a commited viewer since day one, from my point of view LC is such a self-centered, spoiled brat. I totally agree with Denise. "LC" needs to grow up, she is not a teenager anymore. I don't believe in holding grudges, so she needs to get over it. Obviously she doen't have to be best friends with Heidi, but she shouldn't make Audrina feel guilty. Also since this show is based on drama, LC exxagerates a tad "bit" to get ratings. After all this show made her famous & a so-called designer. Im glad Audrina did what she did because it proved that she is not LC's lil puppet and can make her own decisions. If Audrina wants to hang out with Justin or Heidi...who cares? Bravo, Audrina! If I was Audrina I wouldn't move in with LC & Lo...that's trouble wating to happen. Now I understand why Brody wouldn't want her as a gf she is sooo bossy! By the way, Lo really bugs me she is very superficial, she needs to get off the show, she is such a instigator!

[Sam]

haha this is hillarious... I crack up when I read posts from people stressing about a reality TV show. hahahahAHAHAHAHAH. PEOPLE GET A LIFE!! ITS A T.V SHOW!!!! no seriously...do any of you have lives of your own to worry about and stress over? who gives a crap if LC is being immature or Heidi is talking crap WHO CARES! its a FREAKING TV SHOW!!!!!!! GET OVER IT and realize its TELEVISION. and half of it is fake anyway! its for entertainment...I feel bad for people that get all worked up and get all in detail with characters that they dont even personally know. its hillarious...our world is coming to an end.....

[Deb]

Do you really watch the show? Next time TiVo it and really watch it! Heidi was talking about Lauren as if she wasn't even there.......as for Audrina? The only reason she is even on the show is because she is Laurens roommate (now living in her GUEST house LOL). I can't wait for Lo to get more air time now that she is living with Lauren. Maybe Heidi and Audrina can fall off the face of the show. Scripted or not, it would be great if Kristin would show up for some drama! Team Lauren all the way!

[Stephanie]

NO!!! Excuse me. There is no way Lauren should ever associate with Heidi! Heidi's boyfriend (Spencer/A-hole of the Year) to this day refers to Lauen in his pathetic little blog as "Beef curtains." There is no reason Lauren needs to hang out with people who are so desperate for attention and so ruthless to push themselves into the paprazzi limelight. She is better than that and is fully aware. Even Heidi is aware that Lauren is too good for her. Without Lauren Heidi would be nothing. Heidi goes as far as to drop Lauren's name as often as possible in all of her interviews. For example, when she was on "Regis and Kelly," Lauren's name was mentioned more often than Heidi's new clothing line or album. You would think someone who is making an apperance on their show would what to push their album or clothing line as much as possible. Oh no, not Heidi!!! She knows the only way anyone would care about anything she has to say is if "Lauren" came out of her mouth. Onto the Audrina issue, if you have had the privledge to move in with Lauren and share the spotlight on her show then you should know where your loyalty lies. Anyone with common sense would agree with me. Just like Heidi, Audrina would be nothing without Lauren. Just as Lauren would be nothing without MTV but you don't see Lauren doing buisness with any other televison program. LOYALTY, look it up girls!

[Diana]

I agree this makes me laugh.
Come on people we love the show because everyone is immature We need them to be like this. If they all act nice to each other there wouldn't be a show for us to watch. The characters are all silly and spoiled. Boo whooo she wont be my friend. Who cares. Heidi should get a life. I liked Lauren until I saw that she talked and picked on Audrina. And Audrina is too nice to even say anything. Audrina needs some balls to put her straight. Now there would be an interesting turn of events. And Lo she is such an instigator on things. Jesus. Can she really be anymore fake. Either way we love this silly show. One day we will find out that they were all acting and that it was all fake. Till then enjoy whats on tv.

[Tina]

Um... how has Heidi "moved on" ? What does she have to move on from? She and her std infected boyfriend started the sex tape rumor and she thinks an insincere and vague "sorry" is going to fix it? I wouldn't want to be around Heidi anymore either. BTW Hiedi and Spencer are the fakest, cheesiest people on the show... they only want to reconcil with Lauren to attact more attention to themselves.

Hiedi is weak. All she does is complain about Spencer and cry about how she has no friends and how she hated her body and that's why she bought a new one. I fail to see how she is "Ms. Female Empowerment." That relationship break is totally fake garbage. I hope MTV kills their storyline, it's sickening like Hiedi's cheap bloated lips.

As for Justin Bobby... he's just a dirty bad boy. He will burn poor sweet little Audrina again. In fact I bet if he did start treating Audrina right she wouldn't be attracted to him because she likes the bad boys and he wouldn't be nearly as interesting anymore..

[Kindle]

"Heidi is Ms. Female Empowerment." HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Do you even watch the show? Did you notice Heidi's huge new boobs, plastic nose and lips? Have you seen her complain about Spencer yet got back to him again and again even when he's boarderline verbally and emotionally abusive to her? Do you hear Heidi's pitious cries "I have no girlfriends because I dumped them all for my boyfriend"? Did you hear them on KISS FM talking about Lauren's "beef curtains"?

If that's female empowerment I hope I never bring a female child into this silicon filled world. I don't blame Lauren for not wanting to hang out with Heidi after the things Hiedi and Spencer said about her and Heidi's pitiful excuse for an apology.

[carly]

you are totally out of line and wrong! Lauren is amazing and "The Hills" is a favourite over here in the UK. I think you need to leave lauren alone and if you hate Lauren that much then dont watch her tv shows! Love Perez he rocks!

[Ryan]

Let's remember that this is just TV folks. It might be "real" tapings of "actual" events but it gets cut, edited and processed just like everything else out there. The Hills is a fun show, but none of us know them or what really happened--not to mention these events are not happening in real time, they're weeks after. There's also the fact of everything "real" MTV's not showing us like Lauren's debut at LA Fashion Week for her own clothing line, Heidi's music and fashion careers, or Audrina's recent risque photos being leaked. Bottom line, it's TV, that's it.

[f-bomb]

Actually, none of them are "evolving". They're all bratty, insecure morons who are about as ahead in life they'll ever get without marrying whatever rich idiot will take them.

[Glory]

I agree with this article 100%. Seriously! Especially about when Lo and Lauren asked Audrina to movie in with them... Lo and Lauren don't like Audrina!

[Nathalie]

Oh yes, Heidi is so mature and so over the fued that she still talks crap about Lauren every chance she gets: http://www.usmagazine.com/spencer-pratt-100-fact-lauren-conrad-sex-tape-existed.

[daniel]

i dont understand how everybody wants lauren to be friends with heidi when we all know what her and her spencer did to her! yea who ever wrote this article sucks and has nothing better to do, Denise Martin! lauren conrad is great friend and people need to stop hating on her, i love lauren conrad lauren is a grown women no one should tell her what to do. and if u dislike her or the way she is then why did u keep following her life?

[erin]

katie & whoever else posted in defense of lauren, i completely agree with you. while people may say lauren's a hypocrite, you have to remember what heidi & spencer did to lauren...SEX TAPE rumors? seriously? what kind of person could do such a thing? lauren chose to forgive & forget because last time i checked, stephanie didn't spread rumors that lauren made a sex tape. just saying

[Tina O.]

ok everything you just said about Lauren needing to grow up applies to Heidi ten times more! Ms. female empowerment? Are you serious??? Since when does taking over someone else's reality show, almost getting knocked up by a spoiled rich kid, getting a nose job, boob job, and giving up eating EMPOWER women? She's exactly what I don't want my little sister to look up to. And according to the previews for this weeks episode, Heidi is the one who wants to be friends w/Audrina(and invite herself into Laurens house) but not have Stephanie be friends w/Lauren. Umm, HYPOCRITE! Being so onesided in this open letter of yours,and calling Lauren by her nickname, THAT is high school!

[susu]

To chime in on this silly topic. Heidi and Spencer are together and have never been broken up, They are both fame whores and come up with crazy schemes to cross Lauren's path. Heidi does not really want to be Lauren's friend and Lauren knows it. Audrina knows it too, but she has no backbone. I think the fact that Heidi feels like someone should be her friend after she talked crap in numerous radio interviews and spread rumors all across L.A. makes Heidi a lame.

[leahhh]

Heidi and Spencer are attention whores. They are trying to keep themselves on top no matter what it takes. Personally, I'm with LC (or Lauren) on this one. If an old friend of yours was treating you like that, would you forgive them?

[Christina R.]

BTW, this show is 6 months late when they show it on TV. So things have happened already that we don't even know of. Maybe these days Lauren is more mature and for sure a lot of things have changed. Like from the pictures of Heidi's fashion show her and Spencer are back together.