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'The Hills': With friends like these ...

Audrina may not be the sharpest tool, but does she really need a “friend” like Lauren?

Lauren Lauren may get to narrate “The Hills,” but I think I speak for everyone when I say the series has turned on our fair narrator, who has reverted to a sniffling, green-eyed high schooler this season. (In fact, we’re going back to calling her by her high school nickname, LC, from now on.)

So without further ado, an open letter to LC …

LC, It’s time to move on. Heidi has. (And what kind of world are we living in when Heidi is the grown-up one?) We’re over LC vs. Heidi.

How is it fair for you, LC, to befriend Stephanie, sister of your sworn enemy Spencer, who once confronted you in a nightclub in defense of her brother, but Audrina can’t reunite with Heidi? I smell a hypocrite in these hills.

What’s worse, it seems as though everyone else around you is evolving. Heidi is Ms. Female Empowerment. Stephanie, our favorite “Hills” informant, sailed her olive branch over to you while letting Spencer crash in her apartment. Whitney matriculated from Teen Vogue (albeit to more grunt work). Brody got himself a new steady. Spencer’s giving Heidi her space (for the most part). Even Justin -- “It’s time to get my priorities straight” -- Bobby has given up the belching, started showering and has gotten a new ’do.

They all make you rather dull in your 24-hour Heidi hate. Not just dull, but downright bratty. I’m pretty sure I wasn’t the only viewer who threw her pillow (or, ya know, something) at her TV set when you started moaning -- “Will you kidnap me please?” “Oh my god, I need to leave this table immediately,” -- after Heidi squeezed into your table at Goa.

After Audrina caught up with Justin Bobby on a friend-date, your first question to her was “Did he burp in your face?” Not very friend-like. You followed that up with, of course, “Seems like you and Heidi are friendly again.” Yikes.

And now that Heidi has soiled your pad by hanging with Audrina in it for a few moments last week, you want to move out? Into a house? Oh sure, you say you’re bored by your West Hollywood apartment. And yes, you did get that spanking new job as model-herder for People’s Revolution. (But seriously, Mama and Papa Conrad, you're too kind.)

Why is poor Audrina in your cross hairs? Sure, you asked her to move in with you and Lo, but not before you harped all over her “dirty” boyfriends behind her back and told Lo how much fun it would be to continue doing so when you both are her roommates.

Looks like someone other than Justin Bobby needs to get their priorities straight.

--Denise Martin

(Photo courtesy AP)

 
Comments () | Archives (375)

There has been- from day one on Laguna Beach- something about Lauren/LC that irritates me to no end. She's ridiculously passive-aggressive, it's almost unbearable to watch (and yet like everybody else, I do watch- albeit while wondering why the hell I'm still watching). She puts on what's meant to be a charming happy/fun/cheerful/friendly girl face that the majority of viewers can't see past, but in every comment, facial expression, movement, or gesture, there is a wellspring of pure bitchiness simmering just below her fake smile and phony words. Absolute bitchiness (and I wish there was a better, less overused word for it) that is not funny or cute or cutting edge in a snarky Ellen Page sort of way, but the kind that comes from an upbringing of delusional entitlement and sucks the joy out of anyone made to stand too long in a room with it. While I seriously doubt the authenticity of anything else on the Hills, I truly doubt MTV scripted Lauren's absolute lack of redeeming qualities. So while it's stupid and futile to argue the "he said/she said" of the scripted and over-hyped drama between these girls, I totally appreciate someone else in the world of LC worshippers willing to say what (I hope) a lot of us are thinking. Lauren Conrad is just another boring, spoiled brat.

Everyone is a hipocrite and immature on this show its like high school all over agian. like you cant hang out with her cause i hate her! like seriously let audrina hang out with the slore Heidi if she wants and if Stephanie wants to hang out with Lauren Heidi should just stfu since shes talking to Audrina who is bff with Lauren. Heidi is so fake or insecure look how much shes changed since season one shes gone platnum blonde wears a butt load of makeup now and gotten tons of plastic surgery and dosnt look like that natural small town girl she used to be. She tries way to hard and easily gets influenced seriously girl be yourself thats way more attractive than trying to be like barbie. Also, lauren isent a saint i mean shes really jugemental i know shes looking out for her friends but talking behind thier back and being rude is not the way to go about it she said i stopped going back to jason thats cause hes taken and dosnt want you if he was single im sure you would have been all over his shit so cut audrina some slack and mind your own buissness unless she asks for your opinion.

If you guys have forgotten... MTV shows like any other "reality show" is edited to make people look a certain way, the evolve the "characters" of the show..duhh!!! Why do you think that there is ALWAYS akward pauses all through out the episode? Come on now, nan none of us now how these people are in real life so to really judge and dislike someone that you don't know is retarted. Please don't quit your day jobs.

I used to be a fan of the Hills last season but I have to say it is getting old this season! LC seems like such a brat and she really needs to get over the Hedi thing. It is old already! I would much rather watch Rock of Love than the Hills now, how bad is that!!!!! LOL

Okay I understand where everyone is coming from but that night at Goa,oh my god Heidi was such a bitch. "Oh Audrina was my friend first you know","We should all hang out sometime". When clearly Audrina just said she was uncomfortable with Justin at first and even though they did go out on a date, Heidi didn't know what was going to happen. But she acted like everything was fine and that they were all old friends. As for the Heidi and Spencer space thing, Spencer was so rood when Heidi "came to see Stephanie". Seems like someone was a little jealous. And Lauren she does need to get over the whole Lauren and Heidi fight!! She's still holding a grudge wich is so immature. Things happen, get over it!! Heidi has and I know by the end of the season either Heidi and Lauren are going to become friends or Lauren's going to loose Audrina. But to tell you the truth Lauren acts liek she controls her friends, and she DOESNT! She wants to live there lives the way she thinks they should be lived. Wich is why she looses all of her friends. If your friends are doing something that you don't think is right, give your opinion L/C but dont try and take there life over to make it better, if they wanna get there heartbroken, or do anything you don't like, let them! In the end atleast you'll still have friends!!!

fyi: not only is this open letter more horrid than i'd imagine, i doubt the writer of this even knows that she really should be writing this to the WRITERS of the hills.

how far back are you to not understand the show's fake?

I have to disagree with this article. When they were at GOA, Heidi started talking about Lauren as though she wasn't even there. I can understand why and how it would become uncomfortable for her to be there. Lauren and Heidi haven't been friends for quite a while and haven't talked in a while, so I'd understand how it'd be weird. Things aren't just going to patch up overnight between the two of them.

As for the whole Audrina and Heidi thing, I don't think it's unreasonable for Lauren to be acting the way she is. She's obviously not on good terms with Heidi, so she was letting Audrina know to just be careful with her, but she's not stopping her from hanging out with her. Nor, do I really think she cares.

You people also need to remember that MTV edits this show like crazy. There are so many things that the viewers do not see and hear.

Great article and very true! LC needs to realize that in order to have a friend, you have to BE a friend not a spoiled baby. LC's reality show career should have ended in Laguna just as Kristin's did.

BTW - Denise Martin is a freelance writer who tracks "The Hills," "Ugly Betty" and "Top Chef." - Yeah, I am not sure this writer or this column are supposed to be focused on the war, presidential elections, or the 30 people shot in Chicago last weekend. If you wanted to read about that maybe you should look somewhere other than the "show tracker" section of the LA Times.


L.C. is just so petty and judgemental. She needs to get over her stubbornness and her high school antics with her little friend from home. FHM voted Audrina #80 on there "100 sexiest" list and Heidi at #44. Thats because LC needs to get rid of her sourpuss attitude and grow up. There is obviously something wrong when a girl who looks like her can not hold down a boyfriend.

I must say, reading these comments has been the oddest thing I have ever read. There is a lot of name calling and nonsense.

Yes, we, including the author, understand that the show is scripted reality. We are not idiots. It is you who is the idiot for not understanding the satirical nature of this article. As far as the more "serious things going on in the world," you do realize that this is a 30 minute tv show that comes on once a week right? You have no idea what any of this shows fans are doing any other time, so quit with the pretentious crap. I am a grown woman who goes to work everyday and doesn't mind a little mindless entertainment. I try to be casual and carefree, and not have a stick up my butt at all times. What's wrong with discussing a "reality" show? People discuss movies, television dramas, and sitcoms all the time. That's why they are made!

As far as the article itself. I completely agree with the author. I would love to read any future articles you write on the Hills anyday.

i think LC needs to get a life and let her friends be happy with their loved ones. I think she is just jealous that she can't find the right guy for her.. she has dated loosers herself (example Jason & Steven eich didn't want LC). i htink she needs to leave Audrina alone and let her be... She needs to grow up and move on... Stop being such a two face BITCH with friends.... "SHE'S SUCH A HATER!!!! GET A LIFE LC"

Great article and very true! LC needs to realize that in order to have a friend, you have to BE a friend not a spoiled baby. LC's reality show career should have ended in Laguna just as Kristin's did.

BTW - Denise Martin is a freelance writer who tracks "The Hills," "Ugly Betty" and "Top Chef." - Yeah, I am not sure this writer or this column are supposed to be focused on the war, presidential elections, or the 30 people shot in Chicago last weekend. If you wanted to read about that maybe you should look somewhere other than the "show tracker" section of the LA Times.


I must say, reading these comments has been the oddest thing I have ever read. There is a lot of name calling and nonsense.

Yes, we, including the author, understand that the show is scripted reality. We are not idiots. It is you who is the idiot for not understanding the satirical nature of this article. As far as the more "serious things going on in the world," you do realize that this is a 30 minute tv show that comes on once a week right? You have no idea what any of this shows fans are doing any other time, so quit with the pretentious crap. I am a grown woman who goes to work everyday and doesn't mind a little mindless entertainment. I try to be casual and carefree, and not have a stick up my butt at all times. What's wrong with discussing a "reality" show? People discuss movies, television dramas, and sitcoms all the time. That's why they are made!

As far as the article itself. I completely agree with the author. I would love to read any future articles you write on the Hills anyday.

I don't even get why audrina is being nice to heidi. Doesn't anyone remember how heidi was to her because of spencer being a creep and audrina saying something about it?
Heidi was a megabitch to audrina, and was not her friend when her and lauren started having their tiffs. I think Lauren is pretty smart for not just letting Heidi come back into her life, if you forget about the sex tape stuff, Heidi and spencer went out and called her BEEF CURTAINS! like wtf? would you forgive someone for telling ryan secrest you had beef curtains? Then for Heidi to be all chatty with justin bobby (who was a total jerk to lauren last time) and be right next to lauren talking about her! I would have left too. Heidi is the brat. I'm tired of the feud too, but Lauren isn't the one actively continuing it.

Who ever has enough time to watch that show and analyze it, obviously has no life LC is a spoiled brat, Audrina is a horse looking airhead and Heidi is just as fake as the tits he boyfriend paid for! There are bigger things going on in this world like global warming and a presidential election between a black man and a women, but I guess Denise is content with watching this show and becoming an airhead just like the rest of them, maybe you should get over it Denise all these dumb broads are getting paid to be that stupid are you? Maybe you should turn off MTV and pick up a news paper once in a while and see the reality that exist outside of reality shows!

ummm please! heidi is the one talking to all the rag mags about their fight.. shes the one whos not giving it a rest!

Its amazing how bad some people's memories are! This time last year, Heidi and Spencer spread a malicious rumor about Lauren having a sex tape with her ex. This caused embarrassment to Lauren at work and at home. Those two are lucky, and I mean damn lucky, that she never pressed charges against the couple for their involvement of the selling of this story to perezhilton.com, tmz, etc. You will never hear them admit to it, but you do not have to. The couple's body language and immature actions of insulting Lauren have proved it. Not to mention, everyone in Hollywood were told personally by them. Spencer got on this show to become famous. Watch the first season, he was ruder than Justin Bobby. Spencer has been a snake since the beginning. Remember him taking Audrina to his favorite restaurant. For such a "not the sharpest" girl, she even knew this guy was a creep from the start. Do not be fooled by these two. Heidi is anything but a feminist hero. Watch the "Higher" video or perhaps listen to her single "Body Language." It pretty much begs her boyfriend to control her. (which he did btw) It was not until the major backlash against him, that she or rather her PR team decided to separate herself a bit from him. Shame on the New York Times for their comment that has insulted a generation of females. If that's who is representing girl power for my generation than feminism is dead. Shame on the Los Angeles Times for going along with Speidi's manipulative plans to get everyone on their side. They are bad people. You are making Speidi more famous then they ever should ever be. This is why the media sucks!! No research whatsoever!

I agree with Karyn....Lauren seems to always take the high road. She's not perfect...but she handles things pretty well, I think. Heidi needs to stop with the plastic surgery and homemade music vids, and get a grip. She has made big mistakes, and needs to own up.

are u people really watching this show because if you were you would remember that heidi stop being friends with audrina first over spencer and she sat at that table the other night talking about lauren like she wasn't there heidi needs toget over herself shes ugly with no talent and her and spencers fake fights to get more air time please audrina being used by heidi to get to lauren and doesn't even see it go team lauren

Wow, this artical was ridiculous beyond belief. I had to stop reading it half way through.

If you would truly watch the show, you would see that half the points that were made are ludicrous.

First of all, Lauren (Or LC if you prerfer) has moved on from her Heidi hate-fest. Just because you no longer want to be friends with someone doesn't mean that you HATE them. Whenever Stephanie and Lauren hang out, Lauren rarely says anything negative about Heidi or Spencer. However, everytime you see the couple with Stephanie, they always have something nasty to say. Looks like THEY are the ones who have not "moved on." And the situation that was pointed out (where Lauren didn't want to sit at the same table with her former BFF) doesn't prove your point. Any person would have reacted the same way in that situation. Why try to be fake with someone that you no longer want in your life? Would you sit at a table with an ex when you relationship ended badly? No. So, why should you have to sit by a ex friend? Plus, to add to the point, Heidi was sitting two people away from Lauren and she was talking about her. Ridiculous.

Lauren might not be comfortable with Audrina and Heidi being friends, but honestly... Who would be? The whole situation puts you and your roommate in a very akward situation. And as far as they have shown, Lauren has not once tried to stop Audrina from hanging out with Heidi.

As far as everyone moving on but Lauren... Let's take a look at that.
Heidi-- Back together with Spencer (obviously from all the fake photos they staged for the tabloids.)
Spencer-- Please, him living with Stephanie is insane. The Pratts are well off family and if this were not for the show's purpose, he would be living on his own too.
Whitney-- True, Whitney DID leave Teen Vouge. So did Lauren. Watch the show.
Brody-- Hmm... Brody has a new girlfriend? Sources say that Brody is NOW SINGLE. Guess that didn't last for long.
Justin Bobby-- I will agree with you that JB has made progress... At least it seems. Like he said, "Only time will tell."

It is clear to me that this article was cleary written by a Lauren hater. (And possible Heidi fan?) You say "we're over LC vs. Heidi." Yes, this true. But this article makes it seem otherwise.

 
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