'American Idol' Banter: Neil Diamond in the rough

I never thought I would have occasion to feel sorry for Neil Diamond, but "American Idol" always seems to introduce me to new and uninvited emotions. Tuesday's show, devoted to the songbook of the estimable Tin Pan Alley rocker, did him a great injustice -- and it didn't do much for the tremulous Top Five Idols, either.

Maybe they're still processing the slaying of Carly last week, or perhaps they'd gotten into whatever made Paula render judgment on Jason Castro's second song before he sang it -- but with one exception, all five contenders seemed a little, well, glazed.

That exception was Syesha Mercado, who used her lovely sense of calm on the Lionel Richie-esque ballad "Hello Again" (Diamond's song predates Richie's "Hello" by three years, by the way) and delivered the jangly 1967 song "Thank the Lord for the Nighttime" as if her mama were Motown royal Martha Reeves.

Syesha's turning out to be as intelligent a performer as David Cook, though it hurts her that her strong spot is where standards meet jazz, since "Idol" generally promotes the idea that pop history begins in the 1980s. To me, Simon's pronouncement that she might be in trouble seemed as loopy as Paula's missteps (the wiggiest judge also called Syesha "Brooke"); but I've also come to accept that, this season especially, America doesn't always vote with its ears.

As least Syesha seemed happy be on stage. David Cook, vocally right on inhabiting Diamond's mid-career persona as the blow-dried PhD of Love, didn't deliver on the emotional front. Eyes mostly closed, body language stolid, he seemed about as excited as a lead singer whose band got the 3 p.m. slot at the KROQ Weenie Roast. I was hoping he'd kick out that crooked grin on "Cherry, Cherry" -- imagine what the ladies in the audience would have done with him singing the line, "You got the way to move me." Show us a little Adam's apple, man!

The other David let his melisma go crazy on "Sweet Caroline," and then sang "America" -- a great choice not because it's patriotic, but because it's an immigrant anthem, and Archie is, after all, the mixed- race face of the New America. But his uplift was predictable. Brooke White bounced around like a cartoon figure during "I'm a Believer," and contrary to what the judges said, was far too mellow on "I Am I Said," one of pop's apexes of inscrutable philosophizing.

As for Jason Castro, after some typical pre-taped giggling about his general ignorance of pop, he set a new bar for timidity, especially during the meditative "September Morn." (In his defense, he had just fallen victim to the Madness of Queen Abdul.)

"September Morn" provides as good a means as any to understanding why "Idol" failed with Diamond's material. The song -- co-written by a Frenchman, Gilbert Bécaud, whose nickname was "Monsieur 100,000 Volts" -- implicitly ponders the bittersweet mood of a morning after connubial bliss. It shares a title with Beaux Arts academician Paul Chabas's 1912 painting of a nude female bather, a work that became hugely popular in America after being condemned by anti-vice crusader Anthony Comstock.

This complex back story is typical of Diamond's work, which shows a sense of kinship with the past and willingness to ponder life's long haul that's unusual in "Idol"-friendly pop.  Some deride the 66-year-old showman's oeuvre as overwrought and obvious, but even his haters must admit that his pronouncements are determinedly adult.

Even Diamond's early hits, like "I'm a Believer," bear the mark of someone who's learned from some long days and hard nights. (That's why Mickey Dolenz, a slightly older and sexier vocalist than Davy Jones, sang lead on the Monkees' version of the song in 1966.) His anthems aren't pugnacious, like early Dylan; they're dignified. His love songs are always sung in the voice of someone who's good in bed.

"Idol" doesn't do adult, not in this sense. Only a few of its top contestants have ever been old enough to appear even remotely seasoned, and since this is a family show, they can't express any kind of sexuality beyond the occasional campy flash of leg.

So it wasn't just the confusing decision to truncate Diamond's songs to fit in two for each singer that made his material seem strangely incomplete. The younger Idols had to fake Diamond's aura of maturity, and the older ones, aiming to please younger voters, have already learned how to rein in such threatening personality traits. Diamond wasn't a great mentor, either, despite seeming like a mensch. Unlike Andrew Lloyd Webber, he's not artistically interested in ingénues.

This inability to fully explore the side of pop that isn't about fun, youth or artistic dress-up is a limitation "Idol" has never overcome. Two seasons ago, it came close with Daughtry, who sounded like a man and had a back story that was both adult and acceptable -- he was married with children, and the strain of the show on these relationships became a subtext of his performances.

This year, the one remaining married contestant (oh, how I miss Carly and Michael!) presents herself as a golden-haired girly girl, and the most sophisticated singers -- David Cook and Syesha -- haven't been encouraged to show how their talent reflects their life experience. Early on, with Archie's rise, it seemed that a teen Idol would be this year's gift to America.

But then Cook began to rise. I'd like to see him feed his future performances with more of a sense of whatever he's been through. I'd like him to act his age, which isn't that old -- 25 -- but old enough to have done and felt a thing or two. It wouldn't be a bad career decision, either. Chris Daughtry is living proof that the world beyond "Idol" actually still has some interest in grown-ups.

-- Ann Powers

(photo courtesy Fox)

Comments

[Jon]

Great points across the board, Ann, despite the season confusion for Daughtry. Personally, I can't think of an AI alumnus more suited for adult contemporary stations than Melinda from last season. Who else has been compared with such vocal icons as Tina Turner and Gladys Knight? I can't think of a more seasoned performer, though her style is never likely to attract the revered 'tweener through early 20-something crowd.

[ExSinger]

Jason seemed to be performing as though he wanted to go home, even before Paula's judging fiasco. And her gaffe was very interesting. My wife thought she might have jotted down notes from the dress rehearsal, but I tend to think that the producers are angling for him to go and are giving notes to the judges on how to critique them. Either way, the producers are for sure going to stay tight-lipped about it. David Cook was the best of the night, but that isn't saying much. I think he'll win once it gets down to two. Brooke chose the wrong key to sing "I'm a Believer," and it was a bad choice for her. She's not the uptempo, sunny, feel-good singer until she learns how to belt and put a little viscera in her delivery. Perhaps some R-rated movies and some adversity in her life would help that along. Still, she redeemed herself with her second number. Archie is, in my opinion, a robot. Watch his right arm and hand during his performances. The same moves every time. He's a lock for #2 however, thanks to the robots in the mosh pit and the under-14 crowd (hate them!). And Syesha, love her and I think she's gorgeous, but she's boring as a singer. A bit whiny, too predictable in her vocal flourishes, again no real maturity to her voice yet. Either her or Jason will go home tonight.

[Lisa]

I love Neil Diamond and his songs, but I hated the show last night. It was rushed and confusing. I am not a fan of any one of these performers this season. Last season I was crazy about Jordan, and the season before I was crazy about Elliot Yamin. This year I have not connected with any of the remaining contestants. I actually miss Carly-I hated her tattoos and seeing her grossly tattooed husband in the audience, but I really looked forward to hearing her and watching her perform each week. She wasn't boring. She had emotion, and she was herself. David C. is probably going to win, but I don't feel a connection with him, and he sings with a wall around him. David A. is like watching a Disneyland performance, Brooke is so out of her league and she is so uncomfortable, Jason is still there because of his pretty eyes and funky hair (which is rediculous), and Syesha tries so hard and is doing a great job, but should follow in Jennifer Hudson's shoes and star in a movie rather than make albums. I would NOT buy music from any of these contestants. Paula is a crazy lady. She is likable, but I remember her as a very untalented vocalist--she was a Laker's cheerleader who could dance and someone played around with her voice enough (with equipment) so she sounded decent. Then she became a singer, but she can't really sing. And she is a judge. She should judge Dancing with the Stars.

[Patcha]

It seems to me that they already know they want David Archuleta to win because they see dollar signs at the end of light from all the girls out there. Syesha's voice and performances were very good last night and I don't know why Simon insists on putting her down and says that she is leaving...but I guess he wants David A to win as well for the money. David A too immature to win and does not have Star quality. Brooke is really the only one with a unique voice...she just needs voice and perfomance coaching. David C is your next Daughtry, David A is broadway, Jason shouldn't even be there, and Syesha is broadway. Brooke is the only unique one...she just lacks the spark. Bottom line: this season not that great and can't believe they marketed this season as the best group yet. They need to step it up or change it up...getting boring!!!!!! Also, I would be a better judge than Paula.

[My Boyfriend is David Cook]

David Cook should and will win this, and not because I am in lust with him. Can you believe that that best America can come up with is David A? No, I can't. We're not all a bunch of broke tweens with texting capabilities. We (the adults in the room) have money and want an adult winner who we can spend our money on -- tickets, CDs, other things. Yeah, I am older than my lover boy, but that doesn't mean he isn't overtaking the female population of earth with every smouldering week. The heat of a thousand red hot suns! That is what sells music, by the by. Not children who butcher Sweet Caroline. Oh my goodness that was rough. Don't make me laugh! I actually hoped the final two would be Carly and my sweetie pie. The crown goes to David Cook. He's coming to my house to celebrate his victory and I get him for two full hours, husband's permission granted.

[Sally]

I was sad to see the Mosh group back viewing the contestants again through a sea of waving arms. Reminds me of a pit of snakes undulating back and forth.

Can't understand why they "forced" the contestants to sing in the lower octave. Brooke should have sung in a higher key. The question is " do the contestants really pick their own songs?

Can't understand the rush nature of the show other then trying to fit in more commercials. They should have left it at one song.

Judges...really is that what they are . Wish they had judges that really critique the singers or extend their vocabulary beyond say Randy: "Check it out, mann, check it out", "You're the dawg", "That's the bomb", Paula:" You are such a gifted artist" to every contestant. Even I know what the exact words will be from the judges mouths and that's scary.

Finally, boring mentors this year who don't really mentor and seem to be there to promote their next upcoming album. Would be nice if AI found mentors younger then the contestant's grandfathers.

[wg]

"Mickey Dolenz, a slightly older and sexier vocalist than Davy Jones"

Such a fabulous comment I will even forgive the mistake in spelling Micky's name. :)

[Lori]

I guess if you steal arrangements from other groups and "make them your own" that makes you a musical genius..... David Cook is a one note singer. Boring. I always know exactly what the song is going to sound like. This season has been a bit disappointing. I think it's going to come down to a David vs. David final and I'm voting for Archuleta. He can carry a tune!

[richard]

Good column and I agree with most of your comments. Out of a 60 minute show, Neil was on for what? 5 minutes at most. How long was he there to "mentor" the contestants on the day it was taped. Did he suggest different songs that may fit them better or have other suggestions than the 1 or two we saw. Why does IDOL even bother to have mentors if they edit the time down so much. As you say, a mess.
As "medicated" as she was, Paula did say one thing I agree with. David Cook should be the next IDOL. Only truly consistant performer for last few weeks and willing to take chances with songs and arrangements. Finally, the ONE thing Neil could mentor the contestants on is how to take command of the stage and perform.

[Ann]

If David Cook was a one note singer and boring, Simon would not keep calling his performances "brilliant."

Yes, David Cook has admitted to "stealing" (borrowing) other singers' arrangements, but he has also come up with his own on a few occasions - and he pulled them off "brilliantly."

I sure would like to see the other contestants come up with their own "brilliant" arrangements.

David Cook is surely in a class all his own.

[SFJames]

I know I'm too old to give a damn about AI but I can't help it-- I'm inextricably hooked.

Carly was clearly the second-best singer but singing ain't what wins. I am truly a fan of David C (hands-down the best all around peformer/voice of the group) and would cut off my thumb to be able to sing like him.

One question: does he have an abnormally large head? Just asking.

[mckenna martin]

I don't know where these girls/women think that David C is a sex symbol. Yes, he can sing but so can David A. But, neither one in my estimation should be the winner. The two best contestants were booted off - Carly and Michael. I think if Carly didn't have those tats, and they didn't show her husband in the audience, she would of fared better. And poor Michael, I think that everyone thought he was a shoo in and didn't vote for him, and gave their vote to someone they liked - like Jason. He looke like he wants to go home is right. He was yawning last week back stage. I like him though. But, it is hard to even look at that David Cook. He is the opposite of eye candy in my opinion.

[sean]

i don't understand how anyone can think this show is fixed... other than by the predominance of voting by 10-14 year olds for David A... Cook is boring... Syesha is phenomenal... I miss Carly too... and why the F^% is Jason Castro still here? the marijuana voting block? how do they remember the numbers... ?

David A will win... because 80% of the people who watch, don't vote more than once... my 11 year old niece votes thousands of times... on three phones... for the Archuetta..

[idolwatcher33]

Your analysis was right on the money, Ann. I have been a Neil Diamond fan since I was pretty young (I'm 41 now) and I hadn't listened to his music in awhile. The week before the ND show, I went back to my old CD's to listen and thought exactly what you wrote...Neil Diamond wrote songs that are flat out too mature for these idols. He wrote songs from experiencing life and love and looking back at what had been...there were many songs that these singers would have sounded ridiculous singing. (Imagine David A. singing "Desiree" ..."I became a man at the hands of a girl almost twice my age..." ) I laughed out loud in my car just thinking about it! Strangely enough the idols who should have faired well last night were Jason and Brooke, the singer- songwriters, but they pretty much crashed and burned. Overall, it was a truly disappointing night.

[Diane]

Simon is being disingenious. Playing politics if you ask me. He (and Paula - who needs some sleep) had no real basis for promoting Jason this far. Now the poor boy is betraying himself. Simon's only credible reason for putting down Syesha last night would be that he secretly hopes the public will vote (negatively) against his opinions!

Syesha and David Cook were very very good last night. Idols's big money backers want David A it would seem and Simon's positive comments for David's 'great performance' seemed forced - his face didn't mean a word he said. I didn't feel anything from David A - he's only a hype. Jason by the way, should take up modeling. Brooke would be great in soap operas - she cries so effortlessly and if Syesha doesn't win she can always double for Halle Berry.

[Chris]

I'm not saying he's a bad singer, but isn't David C a bit arrogant? On the intro to his piece he was pretty rude to Ryan, catching him off guard with that question and then not even really paying attention to his answer. He asked to be funny, not b/c he really cared. And then with Paula's slip-up, he's up there laughing at her on stage. These people are hosting him! They're giving him the opportunity to be up there exposing his talent to the world. I know he's trying to be funny, but learn some humilty. You're not an Idol yet.

[Bill]

What a great, well-written article. I agree about Syesha. She gets better each and every week. And while the judges continue to drool all over themselves about the two Davids, Syesha only gets lukewarm critiques at best. I thought she was great last night--and looked great also!

[KiQo]

Even tho Brooke's performance wasn't super, Jason Castro was the one who should have gone home tonite. He's outstayed his welcome - each week he becomes more mousey and timid and toneless. David Archuleta is becoming (no, make that HAS BECOME) boring, boring, and more boring. He's young and it's really starting to show. David Cook deserves to win it all!

[Cactus Jack]

Jason Castro in my opinion should have been gone 3 weeks ago, Carly is a hot rocker. Also have you all considered that Paula is possibly in pain.

As for Neil Diamond, Neil, ROCK ON MAN!! I've been a big fan for many a year.

Beast of luck to the remaining 4 Idols

[Freaked]

Yikes!! When is Idol going to have mentors that weren't born 50-60 years ago????