'American Idol' Tracker: Seeking closure with Carly Smithson

Letting go is hard to do. Thursday night, I talked with Carly Smithson by phone from the "Tonight Show" dressing room, hoping that she could put things in perspective. And indeed she did. The transcript of our conversation follows.

Q:  How are you today?

C: I’m good. Thank you.

Q: So what has today been like for you?

C: Very strange. Just exhausting. It's very strange coming off of the Idol bubble down to the ground and I guess going out to the real world and experiencing that.

Q: Tell me about the dinner. (Note: Each week after the elimination show, the contestants traditionally share a farewell meal in honor of the eliminee.)

C: We didn’t really have it.  We had it at CBS and it was very quick. They were going to cancel it but the producer knows how much I love it and as soon as they heard it was me that was leaving, they reorganized it. It was actually just in our holding room upstairs and there was some friends and family.  It was very quick. But fun.

Q What was the mood?

C: Everyone was very happy. I didn’t want anyone to be upset for me. I’m not that kind of person. I just want to go out with my head held high and let everyone know that I enjoyed every minute.  It was a very great experience and I have no sadness in me. Top six is a huge achievement in my book.

Q: You’ve made a lot of fans.  Our site is exploding with people leaving nice comments about you.

C: It’s so nice to hear that.  We’re in our wee bubble and don’t know what people are saying.

Q: That’s what I wondered.  How much do you know of what people are saying?

C: Not much. I tried to ask friends and family to just keep it to themselves because obviously everybody reads everything and I didn’t have a computer, I chose not to, because I didn’t want to be tempted to look at anything. I heard little bits and bobs, but I tried to keep it to an opinion in knowing what was out there. I wanted to have my own opinion of myself and not somebody else’s opinion of myself. But unfortunately, Simon has one of the largest opinions.

Q: Did everyone choose not to look?

C: I have no idea, everyone had laptops, Everyone was usually on YouTube researching their songs and all that but I have no idea who was looking at what.

Q: I felt watching you that there was a very intense emotional journey, having had your experience with entertainment, then moving away and then coming back, it seemed like you were savoring this so much more than the others even.

C: I know. It did. It meant the world to me. I will cherish every moment that I had.  It was a bit strange in the past but I think I learned a lot in everything that I experienced and I definitely learned a lot on "Idol." It’s a very strange show, and a very great show also, but obviously it's not the norm.
You do learn a lot very fast and you have to learn a lot very fast because it's that instant fame and being judged like that every week, it’s a bit different.

Q: How did you learn to absorb that?

C: I think you just do. (Laughs). I’m not sure you have  a choice.  I think you just stand out there and you get kind of used to it.  Every week I went out there and I did the best I could. Sometimes I was so nervous than others. But I know the last two weeks I thoroughly enjoyed everything I did and I know that "Superstar" was my most comfortable. No — come to think of it — "Come Together" was pretty comfortable.  And everything before "Blackbird." As soon as he (Simon) started just being mean, it just threw me off, because it really wasn’t encouraging at all, even though he has said that he likes me, but it just didn’t seem very encouraging.  It just seemed -- I don’t know, maybe if he had worded everything a little differently because I understand what he was trying to do. He was trying to push me to do my best.

Q; What's the feeling when you work so hard on a song for a week and you really feel like you’ve done your best and you get a lukewarm response from Simon?

C: It’s actually really funny. Sometimes we watch everybody on the show. We as contestants all support each other and if somebody’s really good it will be obvious in the green room that everybody feels the same way. It’s just kinda strange when the judges don’t like it.  We’ve all been like it was so touching. We try and help each other each week.  It is a little bit weird. But I definitely took everything that they said, and I feel that they are there to help you and not just to be mean. It’s all a learning experience, they are there to help you and they mean it in the best way but sometimes in the moment we might pick what they are saying up wrong.

Q: How do you handle the song choice question, with so much to balance, so many things you have to think about, having to be original, but not to do something too obscure, to find your voice but not be self-indulgent?

C: I know, isn’t it fun? (laughs) I don’t know, you just do. Sometimes people choose not even to listen to anything they say, some people use it as a tool to aid them in the future. I just tried to take everything in that they said and understand that it wasn’t necessarily a mean thing and it was something to learn from and to grow from.

Q: You seem to have gotten a lot more confident since the beginning of the Top 24.

C: Yeah, my recap video was pretty funny. You could definitely see the change.

Q: How have you changed?

C: I’ve learned a lot about myself. I’ve learned a lot about who I am and who I don’t want to be.

Q: And who don’t you want to be?

C: I don’t know. I just learned a lot about not being insecure and having confidence and holding my head up high. I think my final night kind of said it all for me, I just had a smile on my face. I didn’t want to be the sad person who was bitter.

Q: It almost looked like you were comforting the others.

C: I know! I was like, it’s OK. Yeah, they’re a good bunch. And we all made amazing friends with each other and the tour’s going to be ridiculous. I just wanted to go out on a good night. I didn’t want to be sad and upset. I feel that moment when you get eliminated is a very important moment and you can steer it two ways and I wanted to steer it in a positive direction and make sure I used that moment to thank everybody who has been involved in keeping me there for so long.

Q: You seemed like the den mother to the group.

C: I was! I was always making sure they were all good.  But I still will be, I’m only a phone call away.  And it's only two weeks until I see them all again. We start rehearsing for the finale, then there’s a week off then a week later we start rehearsing for the tour, so I’m not really going to be home that much. It was kind of a cool time to go out, you know? I feel anything after Top 10 is awesome because you get to go on tour.  But I feel Top 6 is nothing to be upset about. I feel that I did my best and there’s not really any regrets that I have about anything.

Q: Tell me how you see your career going from here?

C: I would like to make a record, obviously, and just be creative and start writing as soon as possible.

Q:  Would you want to write the whole record?

C: As much as I possibly can, yeah. I just want to make something that’s really, I like interesting lyrics. I’m not really the sort of person who sings about lollipops and rainbows, but I like songs that have a deeper meaning and something that’s just cool and a little more mature. I don’t want to go down the pop route.

Q: Would it be more of a rocker type album?

C: Yeah, kind of like a little bit pop, but I would never call some of the people who influence me rockers. I listen to a lot of Fleetwood Mac and Pretenders and it's considered rock music but not necessarily rockers. That term is thrown around a bit and I think somebody that has tattoos is all of a sudden a rocker and I don’t think that at heart that’s who I am, but I do like to sing a little bit more of an adult song and I love the power ballads and power notes. I love challenging my voice all the time and seeing just what it can do.

Q: Do you feel, in your relationship with show business — you’ve been through a lot of hard times — that you’ve exorcised some of your demons about it?

C: I feel that leaving it actually helped me. I feel that I had to leave it to love it more. I definitely think that I’m only on the up, I don’t know. I don’t feel any negativity towards what happened to me in the past. I think it was all meant to be. I learned a lot  from it and I move forward with more experience and knowledge than I ever had before, so I’m kinda cool with everything that happened in the past. I think that it made me who I am right now.

-- Richard Rushfield

(Photo courtesy of Fox)

Comments

[Jezz]

I think from the comments so far, it's obvious she's going to be a huge phenomenon of success. What's interesting is that unlike some of her survivors, her fan's comments are always about enduring aspects. I for one, did not pay much attention to Idol until I happened to hear this brilliant singer. She's here to stay and get bigger and bigger. And the praise she is getting from abroad is indicative of the international career that lies ahead of her.

[Sonsy]

I think Carly has a really great voice and will definitely be a great success. I will surely miss seeing her on American Idol and I wish her all the very best.

[yannel]

It was really sad to see Carly leave. She was and still is my favorite on the show, even if shes not there anymore. I think america got it all wrong. Like randy said " i think that this elimination was based a lot on popularity", and i agree. She has a great voice and i know that we will all hear her on the radio with a new hit album out soon. I love you Calry!

[yannel]

Carly deserves to stay. i cried when she was eliminated and i voted twice for her my self. i cant wait to buy one of her albums! I LOVE YOU CARY!!!!!

[yannel]

I just bought "Jesus Christ Superstar" on itunes! You sound great Carly like always. I cant wait to buy your new cd!

[Dolly]

Carly,
I too am a fan,,,,,,,,, I too,,cried,,,, when you left,,,,,,,,,however,,,,,,, there will be happy tears in the future,,,,,,, as some one will grab you for FAME right away,,,,,,,,good luck to you always........
Dolly.. age 69

[gunraye]

I don't know if Carly will ever stumble upon this but I just want to let everyone know that I was never a fan of the show until I saw her auditions in San Diego and heard her sing "I'm Every Woman." From then on, I got hooked on AI. I am a hardcore fan of Carly and I will definitely be one of the firsts in line to buy her new album.

I got so shocked when she was sent packing. She didn't deserve to be in the bottom in the first place. Brooke and Jason not being on the bottom this week was a BIG JOKE! It was stupid! Carly was way way way better than any of those two!!!!!!

[gunraye]

I don't know if Carly will ever stumble upon this but I just want to let everyone know that I was never a fan of the show until I saw her auditions in San Diego and heard her sing "I'm Every Woman." From then on, I got hooked on AI. I am a hardcore fan of Carly and I will definitely be one of the firsts in line to buy her new album.

I got so shocked when she was sent packing. She didn't deserve to be in the bottom in the first place. Brooke and Jason not being on the bottom this week was a BIG JOKE! It was stupid! Carly was way way way better than any of those two!!!!!!

[Kristine]

OK, I am sorry but Carly was a self-indulgent snob. Forget about the comment in THIS interview about how they reorganized the dinner because it was HER leaving.

How about on elimination night when she made reference to choosing more fun songs from here on out (you can call it thinking positively but it was snobbery).

How about when David A was safe the week before and had to choose sides how she was waving him over to join her group because they just HAD to be the safe ones.

I could go on and on but gladly don't have to because she is GONE!! yippeeee!!!!!

[Felix P]

this post said it best for me:

"I don't know if Carly will ever stumble upon this but I just want to let everyone know that I was never a fan of the show until I saw her auditions in San Diego and heard her sing "I'm Every Woman." From then on, I got hooked on AI. I am a hardcore fan of Carly and I will definitely be one of the firsts in line to buy her new album.

I got so shocked when she was sent packing. She didn't deserve to be in the bottom in the first place. Brooke and Jason not being on the bottom this week was a BIG JOKE! It was stupid! Carly was way way way better than any of those two!!!!!!

Posted by: gunraye | April 26, 2008 at 03:36 PM"

Go Carly, prove middle America they got it wrong!!!

[mike v]

It was and is an absolute crime that Carly has been voted off the show. She was obviously the best talent the show had going this year. It just goes to show that this show has gotten away from it's orginal intentions of finding and exposing true star singing talent, and has become nothing more than a popularity contest. I am saddened and dismayed that show producers have not stepped in and made the necessary "adjustments" or executive decisions to keep the most talented voices on the show for as long as possible. I am at a loss to explain how I can watch the show when second rate singers like Brooke and Jason remain despite the reality they should have been voted off first.

[bigbob0557]

Ifell they made a big mistake carly has a great voise iwas dubm founded when i was watching the show and found she got voted off i was talking to other people and i said i think this show is fixed becaused they voted off the wrong one i hope she gets so big and comes back and rubs it in there face.

[mark]

Carly, I was said to hear that you were eliminated. I did'nt get to watch the when you were sent packing. You were one of the best. You blew them all away. They should have been shaking in there boots.

[june]

Carly..

If this were a World/European production you would be uno numero. in process.

Idol is not going to last it is boring.

Junie 74 yrs. in process

[Carol]

I was so sad to see Carly leave. I have never seen someone so appreciative of the Idol experience. I have never bought a CD of a former Idol before but I will definaltely purchase Carly's. Don't give up because you will be a big star.

[melehi]

What a great attitude she has! I really admire and respect her poise and maturity in the way she handled herself when she was eliminated. Reminds me of my very favorite idol, Melinda Doolittle, the night she was eliminated. Both were smiling and seemed happy and thankful that they had made it as far as they did. This interview shows Carly is intelligent and thoughtful and extremely articulate. I wish her the very best. She's a sweet girl. I will definitely buy her album, when she makes one, especially if the genre is more mature as she says, rather than pop.

[phyllis]

You rocked Carly!!!! and I agree with most people... America got it wrong again.... and yes I do agree with them on that the producers of American Idol need to get their act together....step it up when something like this happens....don't they see where it is going....It is about talent or has America forgot that.... and the producers.....get it right!!!!....But Carly you are well on your way to success...don't let anyone get in your way....sing it from the heart and you will be the star that shines....and remember you have control of your future...not someone else had you become the next american idol...their loss our gain....I wish you all the best......

[Jim Cardoza]

Alright, I just started watching American Idol this year. It has been fun. However, watching Carly get voted off was absolutely criminal! I've heard others say, well, American Idol has turned into a popularity contest and it really isn't a singing competition anymore. It never really was strictly a singing competition. There is a REASON they call it POPULAR music. You have to have some talent but really, it's a popularity contest. Why else would a 3rd rate comical singer like the kid with the drealocks still be in it? Who's voting for him? 12 to 15 year old girls. Could the guy win this thing? ABSOLUTELY! Is he a talented star? Absolutely not! Could he be commercially successfull? ABSOLUTELY! Because popular music isn't neccessarily good music, it's just popular (how else could one explain RAP music? Do you really think any talented writer or performer thinks RAP holds any merit musically?)The quality of music is rather subjective to most people anyway. It's what you like to hear and in the case of what sells to teenage girls, it's a look and apparently the dreadlock freak has that. So in addition to the voice you have to appeal to the audiance, and in this case it's screaming teenage girls. Narturally Carly is out. The whole thing is a popularity contest every year as is POPULAR music in general.
Jim

[me]

Carly was ripped off. Jason was just awful! I could not believe he was not voted off. I think he was surprised too. I thought Carly should have made it to the top 3. Idol needs to limit the voting so that those who really can sing have a chance. Kids are voting for hours. I know this to be true because my daughter and her friends do this. 10 votes per phone number. Carly would still be on the show if they adjusted their way of voting. Look at the past, Taylor Hicks was never in the bottom. He won the show, and bombed in record sales.
Keep going Carly. You have fans that will actually buy your album! Who cares where you finished on Idol, if you sell millions of CD's like Daughtry! YOU GO GIRL!!!

[Laurie]

Carly was one of my favs from the get-go. I almost didn't watch AI this year after seeing the non-deserving Sanjaya progress as far as he did last season. But I decided to only watch the auditions, and then I saw Carly sing and had to keep watching. Her singing ability reminds me of Kelly Clarkson's.

Unfortunately, once again, a very gifted singer was voted off and someone less talented gets to stay.

Carly, follow your dreams, and cut an album soon because you have millions of true fans waiting to buy it!

Best wishes for a happy, bright future, it's yours for the taking!