‘Breaking Bad’: Change ... sort of

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Allow me to take the talking pillow. Thank you.

Now that it’s my turn to speak, I’d like to say a little something about Bryan Cranston. On this, Hollywood’s biggest night, our main man continued to make his case for next year’s awards season. And you know that little clip they always play of an actor’s performance as they go around the room, announcing the name of each nominee before opening the envelope? Well, Cranston officially has his clip for next year’s Globes and Emmys. His monologue in tonight’s intervention scene, about choosing to die his way, was about as good as it gets.

Of course, he changed his mind, but more on that later. ...

All season, Cranston has been fantastic as Walter White, keeping this ship steadily afloat by never overplaying his character despite the absurdity that often surrounds him. I can’t think of too many actors who could take this premise –- chemistry teacher gets two years to live, starts cooking meth –- and not fumble it away somehow, making our main character either too light, too heavy or too boring for the material.

Cranston has walked this tightrope well, and tonight’s intervention scene felt like a powerful crescendo. It should be noted here that Cranston, to embody Walter, put on 15 pounds, grew the dead-caterpillar mustache and stayed out of the sun to reach a perfect shade of pale. He wanted, as he’s often said in interviews, to almost disappear, to be a man barely noticed -– which of course gives him room to steadily come into focus as his character transforms into something else entirely.

In the intervention scene tonight, Walt at first did what just what we expect of him; he slumped into his chair and practically faded away as his family did all the bickering over whether it was worth it for him to undergo chemotherapy. Finally, he piped up, whistling loudly and yanking away the talking pillow.

I’ll recreate the monologue here as best as I can, but words on a page simply don’t do Cranston any justice. He took what was in the script and delivered it with such strength and feeling that he brought his fellow cast members –- and maybe even a few of you out there -– to tears.

“What I want, what I need ... is a choice. Sometimes, I feel like I never actually make any of my own choices, I mean. My entire life, it just seems I never, you know, had a real say about any of it. Well this last one, cancer, all I have left is how I choose to approach this.”

Skyler: “Then make the right choice, Walt. You’re not the only one it affects. What about your son? Don’t you want to see your daughter grow up?”

“Of course I do. Skyler, you’ve read the statistics, you’ve -- ... These doctors, talking about ‘surviving.’ ‘One year,’ ‘two years,’ like it’s the only thing that matters. But what good is it to just survive if I’m too sick to work? To enjoy a meal? To make love?

“For what time I have left, I want to live in my own house, I want to sleep in my own bed, I don’t want to choke down thirty or forty pills every single day and lose my hair, and lie around, too tired to get up, and [be] so nauseated that I can’t even move my head. And you? Cleaning up after me? And me –- some, uh, some dead man, some artificially alive ... just marking time? No. No. And that’s how you would remember me. That’s the worst part. So ... that, is my thought process, Skyler. I’m sorry. It’s just ... I choose not to do it.”

And the Emmy goes to...

Well, we don’t know. It’s too early to prognosticate, but I certainly hope he at least gets a nomination when that distant time finally arrives. When I think about this series’ golden moments to date, they’re all Cranston -– when the doctor told him he was going to die, and his eyes narrowed on the mustard stain; when a sonogram revealed Skyler was carrying a girl, and Walt’s face conveyed both the elation of the news and then the pain of remembering that he won’t get to see her grow up; when he killed Krazy 8, the tears and the “I’m sorrys” that bookended the shocking-to-watch murder.

And never was Cranston’s overall stiffness more evident than when we had that flashback in Episode 3 to him as a younger man, flirting with his assistant. The flowing mane of hair, the beard, and most importantly the confidence and charm that pervaded his stride and his speech -– it showed us just how much time has withered away this man, and also showed just how good Cranston is at playing both ends of that spectrum.

That brings me to tonight’s fist-pump moment, when Walt arrived at the birthday party of his old chemist pal, and that assistant from the flashback scene -– Gretchen, it turns out, is her name –- appeared as his wife. Jessica Hecht is the actress’ name, and you probably remember her as The One That Got Away from Paul Giamatti in “Sideways,” or as Carol’s life partner -– and, subsequently, Ross’ nemesis –- in “Friends.” Her reappearance brought hopes of more flashback scenes to the more vibrant (and less cough-heavy) Walter White, and who knows, maybe some saucy old-new temptation for our hero in his final years (no offense, Skyler, but the chemistry does seem to still exist between Walt and Gretchen).

Tonight’s only down moment, for me, was actually directly related to the perfectly played intervention monologue. Walt’s words had been so uncharacteristically strong and convincing –- and in a way, very sensible –- that it was a bit of a letdown when, the very next morning, he changed his mind. Sure, you can’t really fault a guy for doing something against his will just because his wife wants him to, but I’d have at least further separated the intervention monologue from the “Ok, fine, I’ll do it” moment.

As it happened, all it took for the change of heart was one night’s sleep, waking up in an empty bed and then taking in his wife’s presence, or lack thereof -– first he grabbed her pillow, then he took a whiff of her bedside face cream. When he then found her in the kitchen, telling her “Ok, I’ll do the treatment,” we were basically told two things about Walt: one, he really will do just about anything for his wife, and two, maybe he still has a long way to go before he can truly stand up for himself. (And three, that must have been some face cream.)

It was a sweet moment, sure, but it also too quickly dulled the power of Cranston’s monologue in the prior scene. It was kind of like if Barack Obama were to come out on the campaign trail right about now and say, “You know all this stuff about ‘change’ and ‘bringing people together’? Yeah, I dunno.”

But maybe that’s just me. Talking pillow, anyone?

-- Josh Gajewski