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‘Ugly Betty’: Scoreboard: Henry 2, Gio 0

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Don’t get us wrong. It’s not that we don’t love Gio in all his 5’6’ sandwich-peddling glory. We loved how he played along, posing as Betty’s new boyfriend during a night out at ‘Wicked’ while she tried to fool Daniel into thinking she was over Henry. And while we despise all things Reggaeton -- that ‘Gasolina’ song makes us want to light ourselves on fire -- his dance moves in last night’s episode were considerable. And Hilda was right: He and Betty did look good during their impromptu two-step.

But in the end, he was no match for Henry and those . . . moves.

It’s difficult to find the right words to describe his Mr. Roboto-meets-Riverdance-meets-Reggaeton jig. Difficult because our eyes were full of tears, we were laughing too hard. (Christopher Gorham, we knew you’d find a series that played to your strengths. ‘Popular’ wasn’t funny enough. ‘Jake 2.0’ was, well, on UPN. And we liked ‘Out of Practice,’ but we think the CBS demo wasn’t able to appreciate your talents.)

Just when Gio starts to win us over, Henry reminds us why Betty is so resolute to overlook the fact that he’s leaving in 17 weeks to play father to a son he’s having with his ex-girlfriend. Still, this battle is just heating up . . . .

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And because I can never choose a favorite -- every moment in ‘Ugly Betty’ is like a child, precious and unique in its own way -- my attempt at the top five runner-up moments that made me laugh out loud during last night’s episode.

5. Gio’s take on a romantic night out. Some wine on the beach at Montauk. Chilling on the fire escape on a cool night. Dancing ‘because you never feel closer to a woman than when you’re holding her.’ Watch your back Henry, Gio’s not going to wait 17 weeks before he makes his move.

4. Paintball wars!

It was like that awesome slow-motion moment in ‘Kill Bill’ when O-Ren Ishii is about to do battle with the Bride. Only the battle is between Daniel and Alexis. With paintball guns. In the Mode offices.

3. TIE between Betty attempting to eat -- that’s eat, not lick -- ice cream off Henry’s belly. She then tries to warm him up with scalding hot chocolate sauce. Who needs their sexy back when there’s so much nerd love to enjoy?

and

Willy’s rendition of ‘Rise and Shine’: ‘Rise and shine and give God your glory, glory!’ Vanessa Williams, we see Emmy in your future.

2. Wilhelmina stealing a cab from an old woman who she later discovers is Betty White.

Betty White: You’re very rude.
Wilhelmina: And you’re wearing plastic.
Betty White: I’m gonna be late.
Wilhelmina: And I’m gonna get wet. I’m Wilhelmina Slater! I don’t get wet!
Slams door on Betty White’s hand. She falls over.
Wilhelmina: (throws cash out the door) There, that should take care of it.

1. Betty White using her broken hand and Wilhelmina to her advantage.
‘Did I mention that ‘Regis & Kelly’ called? And ‘The View,’ they want me. They all want me! I’m sorry, honey, this feud is huge, and I’m gonna milk it ‘til it’s dry.’

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If ever there was a reason to wish a quick resolution to the writers strike, it’s this show. There are only three episodes left before they’re all gone.

--Denise Martin

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