'America's Next Top Model': Pushing daisies

Shrieeek! Shriiiiek! Shrieeek!  It was makeover week on "Top Model"!!  In past years, the diabolical makeover minds have taken otherwise cute girls and given them horrendous weaves (I still weep over the Bozo the Clown monstrosity Brittany received last year), ghastly dye jobs and geometric cuts that were impossible to upkeep unless you are Vidal Sassoon with an armada of flat brushes.

This year, however, the damage was fairly minimal.  Bianca did have to shave her head to get rid of the magenta layer, and Tyra seems to have a fondness for making over the women in her blunt-cut bangs, "If I Could Turn Back Time"-era Cher-length look.  But most of the gals attained an edge that was flattering.

Immediately after the makeovers, the women were sussed up as flowers for a botanical-themed photo shoot.  Heather, the stunning beauty of the bunch, got fully screwed by having to portray a weed, but in green-face paint she pulled it off as well as Idina Menzel -- who she resembles -- in "Wicked."  Yalie Victoria's ambivalence about the entire venture showed in her cactus photo.  And she gave validity to her claim that she'd never seen the show when she didn't shut her yap in front of the judging panel.  Do not defend yourself to Twiggy, Victoria.  She's wee, but she'll cut you.  And, no surprise, Victoria (pictured) was summarily dismissed.

The genius of "Top Model" is taking these lovelies, putting them in uncomfortable situations, entirely out-of-left field situations, and taking photographs of them.  Sure, you can be a pretty face, but can you be a pretty face covered in the entire fake-flower inventory of Michael's?  On a climbing wall? Or -- my favorite from last year -- as a walking candy display?  It brings us to the question of the week -- and no cheating if you saw the ANTM scenes from next week at the end of the show!

Photo: CW.com

-- Ann Donahue

Comments

[rob]

idina menzel is prettier.