The Emperor's New Bag

In Milan there was the pink Prada turban. In Paris, the object of my affection and obsession is Chanel's "Naked" shopper. It's a riff on the classic rectangular chain purse, except in clear plastic. And it's 700 Euros, or $950. That's right, $950.

Now I'm not the sharpest stilleto on the rack, but I know that's a lot to pay for something that's "plaaaaastic," as my friend Robin said when I let slip that I had my eye on this invisible "It" bag. But I've intellectualized it. That Karl, so clever -- knocking himself off before someone else can, ever cogniscent that fashion is disposable, but it's what's on the inside that is really worth showing -- even if that is a Louis Vuitton pink Vernis wallet, Miu Miu sunglasses and a Chanel Glossimer. Any serious collector would buy into the irony, right? It's just too delicious.

So I went to the temple, I mean the Chanel boutique on Rue Cambon, to check it out in all it's naked glory. There it was on the shelf, with a few Chanel Soleil products tucked inside. A beach bag! How totally chic.

I asked one of the black-clad saleswoman if I could see it, but there really wasn't much to see. There wasn't even any quilting. Just clear plastic, a pair of interlocking silver C's and a cheap-looking chain.

I grew angry. The only thing that was clear was that I was the joke and Karl was laughing all the way to the Deutsche bank. I can just hear him saying, "You silly voomuhn."