50-foot Shaq holds court in Beijing

Leave it to Bill Plaschke to not just find a huge statue of the former Laker center and MVP, but cut a video about it, and write a sweet column about the experience. An excerpt:

He's tucked away outside a remote gate of a city park, no markers on a tourist map, no signs on the street.

He's surrounded not by incense, but public toilets.

He's staring not into the future, but at a parking lot.

Those who visit offer him gifts not of gold and myrrh, but projectile spit and empty water bottles.

But former Lakers center Shaquille O'Neal doesn't seem to mind.

Here, nobody can accuse him of not hustling, because he literally is nailed to the ground.

Here, nobody can exhort him to work on his wooden hands because, well, the dude actually has wooden hands.

Many more one-liners flow freely in the piece, but pay attention to the end of the column when Plaschke reveals what number is carved into the back of the jersey. It's definitely not the number he wore when he led the Lakers to back-to-back-to-back championship teams.

-- Tony Pierce