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Paris Hilton commits audio treason with 'Drunk Text'

Paris Hilton

What do you get when you combine a bored celebutaunt with a cheesy perfume ad, cellular indiscretions and sub-par gym techno? That question will be answered within seconds of clicking on Paris Hilton's video for "Drunk Text," her cringe-worthy attempt at Shatner-esque spoken word. The track, a collaboration between Hilton and the Colorado-based production duo Manufactured Superstars, takes a poetic journey through her flirtatious exploits with a guy during a night at a club.

As the video graces us with shots of her ruby red lips and cracker-dry monotone, Hilton waxes poetic on the finer points of naughty cellphone communication. It goes something like this:

"You take the word 'sex' and mix it with 'texting,' it's called 'sexting'/When you add drunk sexting, the words just don't make sense/It's just a hot mess of misspelled obscenities, body parts and run-on questions I'm not sure what it means to ask."

Speaking to E! Online about the video, Manufactured Superstars (a.k.a. Brad Roulier and Shawn Sabo) said Thursday that the video had been leaked, that it was not ready to be released and that they were trying to remove illegal copies from the Web. We have an embedded version of the video below as well as a link to it here, but you might want to check it out soon, since we don't know how long either will last.

While we try to clear the acute stench of publicity stunt from the room, here's some other classy lines from the song, er, whatever this is:

"I went out to the club the other night to, ya know, dance with my bitches."

"My mouth kept pouring desperate clauses of random intent."

"He asks if he can text me after the club. He hands me another shot of vodka and I say, 'Sure.' "

"No one is safe in the Twittersphere anymore."

 "I'm too lazy to type so I send a photo I took up a dancer’s skirt."

 “He wants me to bring more girls up like some kind of pimp.”

Riveting stuff.

Check out the video below:

Untitled from Craig Raby on Vimeo.

To be fair, those who remember Hilton's last song, "Stars Are Blind," should consider themselves spared from listening to her actually try and sing.

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-- Nate Jackson

Photo: A screen grab from Paris Hilton's video "Drunk Text."

 
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