Winning and losing: Ranking the Charlie Sheen musical tributes
As someone who can quote "Major League" like Shakespearean scholars quote "Macbeth," don't ask for my take on the Charlie Sheen saga. That is, unless someone wants to publish a 3,000-word think piece on the manic behavior of Ricky "Wild Thing" Vaughn. But since this is a music site and no one wants to read another armchair sociological tract, here's a roundup of the Sheen musical tributes that have popped up since he became America's favorite meme. Tiger Blood, Warlocks and goddesses included.
(And for the record, the first person to splice DJ Khaled's "All I Do is Win" with Sheen's monologues ... wins.)
Jonathan Mann -- "The Charlie Sheen Quotes Song" What: Singer/songwriter Jonathan Mann goes Jon Brion and creates a jangly and highly entertaining guitar pop tune solely from Charlie Sheen quotes. Bonus Points for writing a song more melodic and catchy than 95% of this genre. No points deducted -- this is actually really impressive.
Record: 9/10 wins. This song is pretty winning.
I Am On a Drug It's Called Charlie Sheen
What: Hilarious quotes over the beat for an LMFAO song. Bonus points for impeccable quote curation. Points deducted for using an LMFAO song (were Schwayze and Cisco unavailable or something?).
Ranking: 4/10 wins
Charlie Sheen Bi-Winning Dubstep Mix
What: Sheen quotes and clips layered over a pulsating dubstep remix -- edited to make Sheen seem like he's dancing. Points scored for clever editing and subtle (presumably unintentional) conflation of champion bro Sheen to bro-step tune. Points deducted for not using a Magnetic Man song and going 100% bro.
Ranking: 7/10 wins
Apollo Run - "Charlie Sheen's Got Tiger Blood, Man"
What: Ukelele-tinged piano ballad dripping with falsetto and heavy irony. Bonus points for the lead singer's beautiful voice that almost hits Antony heights. Bonus deducted for a ukelele. Men with tiger blood go nowhere near ukeleles.
Ranking: 7/10 wins.