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Rihanna’s toilet must be ‘DEEP CLEAN’ and her other tour rider demands

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Over the years, tour riders have become almost as reliable a barometer of pop musical greatness as album sales. And you can tell a lot about an act -- how hard it plans to party, primp or act like a prima donna -- by what contractual demands the artist makes on its tour promoter.

In the early ‘80s, you had Van Halen legendarily mandating that all brown M&Ms be removed from backstage candy bowls lest rock ‘n roll mayhem ensue. Busta Rhymes is known to have contractually insisted upon Moët & Chandon Champagne, a bucket of fried chicken and an ample supply of condoms in his dressing room. And in 2008, the Foo Fighters pushed the rider envelope by threatening to “CALL OUT A CATERING JIHAD” if their demand for red plastic Solo cups went unmet.

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Now, into the annals of great tour riders, we must welcome the terms laid out by Rihanna for her “Last Girl on Earth” 2010 world tour, scheduled to begin in Auburn, Wash., in July.

Sure, upon first reading, the Barbados-born “Good Girl Gone Bad” may come off as a diva by insisting upon a dressing room environment that includes Archipelago Black Forest candles (at $37.50 apiece) and the abolition of all fluorescent lighting, as well certain hypochondriac tendencies, necessitating a “SPOTLESS” bathroom with toilet given a “DEEP CLEAN.”

But even with the rider’s Arbitrary Capitalizations (and the strange pride of place it gives animal prints), viewed a another way, the contract can be seen as a declaration of purpose and assertion of Rihanna’s cultural import.

The artist born Robyn Fenty is extremely particular about -- and, apparently, minutely involved in – what materials her dressing room love seats are upholstered, what kind of flowers should be strewn about the place (as well as precisely how defenestrated said plant life should be), even the dressing room’s “icy blue” color scheme.

Courtesy of the Smoking Gun, we know that Rihanna’s tour promoter has been put on notice for:

“6-8 -- Throw Pillows for Couches – Animal Print (Cheetah, Leopard)(NO sequins)”

“1 – 6ft comfortable couch – White, Cloth, Plush (No leather) (wide enough for her to stretch out on and sometimes take a nap)”

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“1 – Large throw rug – plush and animal print (Cheetah, Leopard)…must be CLEAN, as she will walk on it barefoot.”

“Pipe and Drape the room in Dark Blue or Black Drapes with Icy Blue Chiffon draped nicely on top/over”

“4 – Small, clear, square vases with White Tulips, if in season – No Foliage (2nd choice: White Casablanca Lilies no foliage, 3rd choice: White Freesia no foliage)

“1 – Clear Vase with Sterling Lavendar Roses (if available)”

BATHROOM MUST BE SPOTLESS. PLEASE DEEP CLEAN TOILET & SHOWER ONE

-- Chris Lee

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