Robert Hilburn remembers his time with Michael Jackson

I'll always regret that the last conversation I had with Michael Jackson ended with him angrily hanging up the phone -- at least I've long thought of Michael's mood that day more than a decade ago as angry. I now realize the more accurate description would be "wounded."

Michael was at times among the sweetest and most talented people I met during my 35 years of covering pop music for the Los Angeles Times.

I was fortunate to be present at many of his proudest moments. I was in the audience the night in 1983 that heunveiled the electrifying moonwalk on the Motown TV special and in the studio in 1985 for the all-star "We Are the World" recording session. (Watch the video here). I also was with him at the family house in Encino soon after he purchased the Beatles song catalog in 1985.

But even all this wasn't enough to prevent Michael from striking me as one of the most fragile and lonely people I've ever met. His heart may have finally stopped beating Thursday afternoon, but it had been fatally broken long ago.

During weekends I spent with him on the road during theJacksons' "Victory" tour in 1984, I learned that he was so traumatized by events during his late teens -- notably the public rejection by fans who missed the "little" Michael of the Jackson 5 days -- that as an adult he relied desperately on his fame to protect him from further pain. In the end, that overruling need for celebrity was at the root of his tragedy.

Read more Robert Hilburn remembers his time with Michael Jackson

Comments

[Layne Richins]

"The pure products of America go crazy"
William Carlos Williams

[Martine Ehrenclou]

Robert,
I read your summation of Michael Jackson’s career with great hope that you , unlike some other reviewers, would highlight the peaks of Jackson’s career along with some realism. However, I found your article sad, found your perception of Michael Jackson’s music off-base and not grounded in reality. His personal life may have gone south, his record sales may not have broken records since “Thriller” but my goodness, with Bad, Dangerous and "Invincible," I cannot believe that you would discount his later works at “soulless.” Do you listen to contemporary music? I love his later works as much if not more than “Off The Wall” and “Thriller. “And I’m 49. My husband and I saw Michael Jackson in concert during the “Thriller” phase and it was beyond what I could have imagined. But his later works, even though they didn’t sell like his earlier ones, were brilliant musically.
Could it be that you, along with some of his fans, longed for the old Michael, the young Michael who seemed so happy and superfluous that you could not adapt to his newer, more edgy, more commercial sound?
Martine

[Rumina]

Robert,

There is something you imply that rings true to me. I think Michael (and I say this with affection and respect for him) was addicted to love - addiction to love is not widely known. This addiction seems to be pretty much at the base for many other addictions and the origin is mostly from abuse. His wonderful creative soul did not find peace because of that. His work was always interesting, come on, "Stranger in Moscow" was done later on in his life, so I don't agree that his work was ever soulless. But I think the key of his problem was the abuse and this addiction. And I hope that people feel compassion as well as admiration and respect and love for the mystery of Michael. And something else... Deepa Chokra tells that two weeks before his passing he was reading Rabindranath Tagore... Rumina