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Rob Pattinson can't be the new Spider-Man

January 14, 2010 | 11:41 am

Pat

A story today from the Reelz Channel website, picked up like a found dollar bill by sites all around the Web, offers the tantalizing and stupendously specious news that Rob Pattinson is being cast as the new Spider-Man.

There are several reasons this can't happen. For one thing, as the studio points out, the director would need to come first, and if Marc Webb or anyone else is on it, they'd certainly want to canvas the town before making a hire. The second problem is age -- Pattinson is now 23, and this clearly is going to be a high-school movie. And finally, it would be a terrible idea. There's already a question mark on the movie -- why bring in an actor with questionable skills? Next they'll have Taylor Lautner as Captain America. Or as, um, Max Steele.

Of course, the Pattinson story isn't true at all. The site that originated the item (origin story?) belongs to the Reelz Channel -- you know, the place Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein went to work after the Washington Post. And even the Reelz people didn't believe it: The dateline on the story is April 1. (It looks like it was republished today after first being published on the actual date, though it's tough to tell.)

Of course that didn’t stop half of these sites from reporting the “news,” straight-faced, and sourcing it to “reports.” Somewhere in India, Sidd Finch is laughing.

-- Steven Zeitchik

Photo: Robert Pattinson. Credit: Spencer Weiner/Los Angeles Times

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Comments () | Archives (24)

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Wait...R.Pat won't be doing it because of his age (23), but two stories down you suggest Joseph Gordon Levitt (who is soon to be 29) would be perfect?

If you are going to editorialize and criticize at least get your facts and reasoning straightened out.

You know, like Woodward and Bernstein would.

Somewhere Sidd Finch is asking: "Who is more fool? The fool or who follows the fool?"

You see - Patronizing sure is fun - anyone can do it.

april fool!

A story "today"? Then why does the link say April 1. This was clearly a prophetic April Fools Day joke.

Questionable talen?? Sorry, don't agree with you. If you critics will just back off a bit and give him some room I think he will be a terrific talent. Your just part of the group that love to hate anything popular...grow up.

There is nothing questionable about Rob Pattinson's skills. He is an outstanding actor that lights up the screen when he appears. Unless Spider Man 4 is going to be a whole lot better than the last one, why would he want to do it? I would love to see him associated with any quality movie. He would only make it better. The producers and whichever director would be lucky to get him.

How hot would that be if they chose rob? OMG!

Rob Pattinson would make a great Spider man, um hello skills...he's got em and more than that natural SEX APPEAL! When articles like this come out it is obvious that someone is all jello over Rob. He is a talented actor and I think that bothers his critics more than anything. All the negative about him as far as I am concerned is fabricated. To all you untalented, No sex appeal, stinky little liars... guess what folks, no one believes you!

And this would be the first time a 20 something was cast as a high school student? Ummmmmm NO!

. . . you must be joking or out of your mind....Robert Pattinson has questionable skills???? You have questionable rationality dude!!

Why do you all find it necessary to bash this kid? He is doing great with the material he was/is given with the twilight series (I'm not sure if any of your Pulitzer prize winning research actually had you read the books or the horrible script). He has an amazing amour of sex appeal and actually comes across as a nice guy instead of a d-bad for someone with his level of fame-something he clearly didn't ask for but in MHO is doing his best with. Give him a few movies before you write him off--because if this were the 80's you probably would have written Leo and Johnny depp off as well.

Sorry for the the typos in my last post!

You know, I know Pattinson is "what's hot" right now. However, there are quite a few people who WOULD NOT see the movie if he was cast. I think he's okay in Twilight, but he is not right for Spiderman. What happened to Tobey Maguire, btw?

That's one thing you didn't touch on in this story. I personally think Jake Gyllenhall would be great as Peter Parker...although he might be busy doing Prince of Persia.

But, yeah...as a Twilight fan, my vote is NO! Pattinson should not touch Spiderman...AND TELL HIM TO STAY AWAY FROM MAGNETO TOO!

Pattinson has far better roles to play than this pile of cack. The lead in Watering Elephants.

Robert Pattinson's future roles are superb. The uber cad George Duroy in Bel Ami which George Sanders played back in 1947, then a white Indian Warrior in Unbound Captives with Jackman and Weitz and also the lead role of Jacob Jankowski alongside Reese Witherspoon and Sean Penn. He'd hardly need a bland boring role like Spiderman.

I think Rob Pattinson would be fabulous as spider man. I have never seen a Spider Man movie since I have no interst in Toby McQuire. Boring as heck. Rob I would see.

Please stop crucifying this young actor - he did not ask for this level of intense fame. Give the kid a chance would you?

What were you doing at 23?????

I love the idea. He would be awesome!

Good for him that he's not doing the stupid Spider Man series. The last thing he needs is to be part of another lame franchise.

thank god. rob pattinson is a joke

I enjoy the Twilight franchise, but I am a huge Spidey fan, and Rob Pattinson is just not Peter Parker. It's not a commentary on his skills, but Spiderman he ain't. For a start, he's just too pretty.
And what are we arguing about it for anyways, when it's already been established that it's bollocks?

A story also given more credibility because you printed it. The LA Times has credibility, they should be careful how they use it, I did not know about the Reelz Channel before this article.

Rob Pattinson a joke?? I don't think so. Look at Sandra Bullock. At 42 years old, she finally performs like a real actor. Look at all the inane, stupid, idiotic movies she has been in. Think of all the money wasted putting her on the screen. Has she ever made a movie where she does not do her imfamous "snort"? Ugh, she is repulsive but Hollywoood continues to pave the way for her because she she appeals to uneducated, middle America. Robert Pattinson has done nothing but take risks and has been more engaging on screen that she ever will be.

I'm sorry but Spiderman sucks. The last one turned into a comedy and I couldn't stop laughing the whole movie. Psh, they might as well just get Rob to do it since it's all turned into a big joke anyways.

rpattz rocks and u guys all kno it!

the director doesn''t want to hire rob cuz the director thinks that rob will make his movie a success!!

I LUV YA ROB!

Has Anyone noticed his forehead is like 18 inches long? The guy might be a good actor but he'll never be casted as Spiderman they already made one mistake three times by casting Tobey (FSDLJKFOUJIOWEURIing)Mcguire I'm sure if they make a new one it will be a different look.

However I could be wrong look at Punisher War Zone, Although a better movie def not a better actor. Still Patterson has no skill inregards to an action movie. Spiderman is not a flipping Drama or Romance Novel. Just cause they Butchered Twighlight movies doesnt mean he can do the same to the Spiderman Triliogy. Supporters of Robert P should be drawn, tar'd and feathered or atleast Baker Act'd.


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