Mojitos of shame: California fines marketers of gas-powered ‘Party Blender’

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What kind of fascist, totalitarian Obama-nation is this? A man can’t even run his two-stroke, dirty-filthy, ear-splitting, jacked-to-the-max chain-saw engine blender -- with handlebars, no less -- on the back of his pickup at football games?

Land of the free, indeed.

This month the California Air Resources Board fined Orange County-based On the Edge Marketing and Phoenix-based CSK Auto Inc. (Kragen Auto Parts) $240,000 for selling Chinese-made gas-powered blenders -- gaze in wide wonder at the picture here -- with two-stroke off-road engines. Two-strokers are all but prohibited in California.

‘Gasoline-powered blenders may be this year’s tailgate sensation, but drinkers should not be polluting our air while having a good time,’ said board chairwoman and buzz-kill-in-chief Mary D. Nichols.

Let me stop right here and say, as a former mixologist, I think the petrochemical-flavored daiquiri could be the Next Big Drink. With a twist of rat poison, of course.

-- Dan Neil