EBay cars under $10,000 that beat the pants off a Nissan Versa

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Nissan’s announcement last week that it would offer a stripped-down version of its Versa model for under $10,000 -– a Sub-Versa, if you will -– occasioned a lot of media attention and interest, as if there was something to celebrate. To me it sounds like 1.6 liters of boredom, a mouthful of sand to thirsty car-buyers. Please. Ten grand? I can put you in automotive paradise for $10,000. Walk this way.

Go to www.motors.ebay.com and follow the link to “Cars & Trucks.” Don’t specify a make or model but simply order the 50,000 or so listings by price, and use the advanced search function to specify items with a “Buy It Now” price. What you’ll discover is an Elysian field of depreciation as the awesome rides of yesteryear -– in some cases cars that dominated automotive buff book covers just a couple of years ago –- are dispensed with for a fraction of their original sticker. With the recent spike in gas prices and the downturn in the economy, people are eating their cars -– “literally!” as Joe Biden would say.

Yes, these cars are a little older, but if you were to compare, wheel-to-wheel, the new Versa with, say, a 1991 BMW 850i –- a 12-cylinder supercoupe on 18-inch Hamann wheels and with only 47,120 miles on the clock –- well, your head would explode. The Bimmer has more technology in its ashtray.

So before you submit to lowered automotive expectations, consider these choices, all on EBay for $10,000 or less (after the jump):

2003 Jaguar XJ Vanden Plas (EBay listing number 180304087377)
A stunning and regal British limousine with a lusty 4.0-liter V8 and five-speed automatic, inlaid wood and creamy leather, all liveried in British Racing Green. Luxurious? It has picnic tables in the back, for heaven’s sake. And by 2003, Jaguar quality was exceptional, way better than a lot of German cars. Loaded with every option then known to man, this XJ VP is a gorgeous slab of a car -– fast, refined, audacious.

2003 Mercury Marauder (EBay listing number 150307313854)
If Ingmar Bergman’s chess-playing figure of death drove a car, this would be his. Behold the fearsomely black, unmarked glory of the Marauder, a low-volume, high-performance version of the Ford’s rear-drive Crown Vic/Mercury Marquis cop car with a Cobra-like 4.6-liter, 335-horsepower V8 under the hood. You can’t buy more menace per dollar than the Marauder. Sneak up behind somebody in the left lane and watch him swallow his cellphone.

2001 Mercedes-Benz E320 Wagon (EBay listing number 320315342496)
Now this, this is a proper Mercedes –- built like the rudder of the USS Missouri, big, heavy and indestructible. With 112,900 miles on this green-and-cream beauty, it’s just getting broken in. An all-wheel-drive station wagon, the E320 4Matic wagon is what SUV-driving soccer moms would have bought in 2001 if they had an inkling of automotive worth. Note also the rear-facing third-row seating and the cargo cage for the kiddies. A little slice of the Hamptons wherever you are.

1965 Chevrolet El Camino hot rod (EBay listing number 360103981845)
Words cannot express the total, unmitigated cherry-ness of this gorgeous ’65 El Camino gasser. The El Camino is a legend in its own right, a pickup/sports coupe widely favored by country boys, cholos and a certain Democratic president who put Astroturf in the back. This example has been re-skinned inside but retains original rally gauges. De rigueur rodding includes a 350 small-block V8, Crane fireball cam, 750 cfm Double Pumper Holly carburetor on an Edelbrock manifold, and white Heddman headers. What’s that smell? My soul is on fire.

2003 Mini Cooper S (EBay listing number 250317559056)
This well-used example of the history-making Mini reminds us that, in the used car market, 10 grand is still a bunch of money. Let’s say this thing lasts five years. That’s $2,000 per year plus whatever fix-its you throw in –- a timing belt, maybe rings and head gasket, certainly brakes and other wear items. So what? Meanwhile, you’re driving a car that makes you feel like the bubbles in champagne. A Versa? More like the trapped gas in non-alcoholic beer.

2003 Dodge Neon SRT-4 (EBay listing number 230305397190)
A sport-compact grenade that’s lost its pin, this rat racer was designed to go upside the head of the Mitsubishi Evo and Subaru WRX STi. Let’s unpack “SRT-4.” It stands for Dodge’s “Street and Racing Technology” division and the “4” refers to the turbocharged four-cylinder engine, good for about 223 horsepower and 250 pound-feet of torque. This car delivers very adequate fuel economy and, as a four-door with a trunk, reasonable day-to-day utility. So it’s like a Versa, only, um, fast, with Stage 1 mods like a cold-air induction, up-rated suspension and big brakes. Your chihuahua on meth.

1963 Volkswagen Bus/Vanagon (EBay listing number 180303123548)
Feel like owning a cult object? Consider this turquoise-and-white, split-window Vanagon, an E-Z “Camper of America” edition (apparently, E-Z was once a customizer in Littlerock, Calif.) The listing says it has 80,622 miles on it –- right, shaa, bro! –- but no matter. This is the real surfing safari van. A tiny bit rusty and maybe not totally watertight, and slow as Christmas, this is still a lot of nostalgia for the money. With a little time and TLC this could be a show-winner and a great family escape pod. Try sleeping in your Versa.

1964 Chevy Impala (EBay listing number 110306293315)
The key tenet of vintage-car shopping is opportunism. Never buy a car that needs restoration -– ignore the VW/Vanagon recommendation above -– but look for cars that have already been restored, at great cost to the owner, who is likely miserable about it. Everyone eventually gets upside-down on a restoration project. So check out da bomb, a low-rider’s dream car, in primo condition. Embroidered floor mats, fresh Jacquard upholstery, eat-off-it V8? Come on! This is grand theft auto.

1995 Mercedes-Benz E320 Cabriolet (EBay listing number 130265825245)
I remember driving this car when it had just come out. With the top down and the sun beating down on me, I felt like I was starring in my own Renaissance annunciation painting. Basically, this car takes all the inherent awesomeness of a mid-1990s Mercedes sedan –- materially overbuilt and over-engineered at a time when Mercedes had no peer –- and then puts it alfresco. There are several examples of this car on EBay, and if you don’t like the wedding-cake white paint, you can find others in the low five digits. Still, a bargain.

2001 Audi TT convertible (EBay listing 250319741948)
It may be hard to appreciate how big a deal the first-generation Audi TT was. Revolutionary is not too strong a word. More good words: Bauhaus, haute minimal, downtown digital. And today, it’s still one of the most interesting and compelling cars on the road –- perhaps even more interesting, having shed value like a molting parrot sheds feathers. Consider this redder-than-Alabama example, with the 225-hp turbocharged engine, six-speed manual, power top, leather and all-wheel drive. That, ladies and gentlemen, is a lot of car for $10,000.

-- Dan Neil

Photo Credits: Nissan Versa /Nissan; Jaguar XJ/ crashautos via EBay; 2003 Mercury Marauder/ gocomstar via EBay; 1965 Chevrolet El Camino/ gtof100 via EBay; 2003 Mini Cooper S/ 954swright1966 via EBay; 2003 Dodge Neon SRT-4/ floridasfinestcars via EBay; 1964 Chevrolet Impala/holstein8780 via EBay; 2001 Audi TT/ hqconcepts via EBay