Steve Harvey: You scream

In the Galapagos Islands, Ron and Michele Pennington saw an ad that was evidently aimed at people with bad sunburns. The store's ice cream must be pretty cold too.

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Photo: Ron Pennington

Steve Harvey: Complicated exit strategy

In Azusa, Geoff Knight of Glendora found a door that you open at your own peril.

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Photo: Geoff Knight

Steve Harvey: Unclear on the concept

The slogan of a 7 Eleven store in Santa Clarita didn't really fit in with the gasoline prices below, points out Gordon Glattenberg of that fair city.

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Steve Harvey: Wonders of the 21th century

What to do about those folks who insist on having loud cell phone conversations in public places? Well, Ken Buck owner of Joe Jost's, a Long Beach saloon, offers one solution. He has designated an enclosure in his joint for such gabbers to use. He calls it a "booth. I forgot to ask him what he used to use it for.

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Steve Harvey: Thanks for the warning!

In Bishop, Bill Tivol of Pasadena noticed that a tire store was using a sales expression that might be misinterpreted.

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Photo: Bill Tivol

Steve Harvey: How's that again?

James Sievern of Big Bear City submitted this wonderful addition to your Spell Check Disasters file.

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Steve Harvey: Honest, officer, I was just getting my hair done

In North Hollywood, Claudia and Tom Storey as well as Ginger Durgin noticed a place where you can undoubtedly have a beer shampoo.

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Photo: Claudia and Tom Storey

Steve Harvey gets mail

Steve:

I found a gas station that prosecutes "drive-offs".  I thought in the days before pre-paying for gas that  "drive-offs" were people that would fill their tank and then leave without paying.

I asked the attendant what the sign meant and he said it refers to people who drive off with the hose still attached to the tank, which  has been an expensive problem at this station.

David Boone
Los Angeles

Photo: David Boone

Steve Harvey: Unclear on the concept

I guess that as far as AT&T is concerned, there's no such thing as much ado about nothing. Just look at the threatening bill that Tom Greene of L.A. received.

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Steve Harvey: Lifeguard tower real estate

Maybe the bottom hasn't fallen out of the real estate market after all. In one advertising supplement, Jack Grimshaw of Orange noticed a not-so-luxurious structure priced at more than $4 million. Of course it was in Newport Beach. But can you get cable there?

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Steve Harvey: Unclear on the Concept

In Watsonville, Col. E. Z. Smith spotted a prohibition that didn't go with the name of the street.

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Photo: E. Z. Smith

Steve Harvey: Day-old antiques

A sign on a store in Virginia moved Maggie Seitz of Tujunga to observe: "With our fast-paced and disposable society, I guess anything over 24 hours old is now an antique."

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Photo: Maggie Seitz

Steve Harvey: Bon appetit!

Judy Griswold of Rowland Heights points out that one menu writer put his (or someone's) foot in his (or someone's) mouth.

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Photo: Judy Griswold

Steve Harvey: Unclear on the concept

Mathy Wasserman of Hidden Hills sent along a shot of a billboard that she said was "seen (or not seen) in Sherman Oaks." Come to think of it, a more appropriate place for the ad would be Hidden Hills.

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Photo: Mathy Wasserman

Steve Harvey: When you've run out of vacation ideas

If you're looking for landmarks to visit on your summer vacation, Carl Zitek of San Bernardino recommends good ol' Mount Trashmore, a Virginia Beach, Va., park so named because it sits atop an abandoned landfill. The 60-foot-tall tourist attraction includes a dozen or so picnic shelters and numerous recreation areas, including beautiful Lake Trashmore. But Mount Trashmore is lacking one thing. With a name like that, shouldn't it offer sculptures of the nation's worst presidents?

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Steve Harvey: Get the idea?

In Montecito, Guy Brown noticed a graphic warning sign at a private elementary school that was apparently aimed at adults with reading comprehension problems.

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Photo: Guy Brown

Steve Harvey: Drought or no drought

Some of these water restrictions have gone too far, as Laura Doyle and Georgia Spencer of Hermosa Beach discovered outside a public restroom. Doyle and Spencer added, however, that the women's room was very clean.

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Steve Harvey: A real estate deal that is too good to be true

This real estate slump is really getting serious, judging from an ad in the Palisadian-Post. Why I can remember when houses in the Palisades sold for at least $50,000. (Actually, the ad is supposed to say that the place rents for $12,500 a month.)

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Steve Harvey: Food for thought

"Aren't final exams bad enough?" wrote Rabbi Leslie Bergson of The Claremont Colleges after spotting an offering of slop on one campus menu.

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Steve Harvey: Such a deal

Elizabeth Clark of Hacienda Heights received notice of an "award" she had won -- a roundtrip tickets for a flight that was short in miles (though surprisingly long in minutes and hours). Clark would have been more interested if the flight was between LAX and the Ontario way up north -- the one in Canada.

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Steve Harvey: Food for thought

Carl's Jr. likes to say it sells the $6 hamburger. Well, Art Sawyer wonders if he's found the $7 attorney.

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Photo: Art Sawyer

Steve Harvey: Unreal Estate Dept.

Reader Mike Montgomery happened upon an apartment whose owner seems to be mocking the lifestyle in none other than West L.A. Surely the name's a joke. On the other hand I haven't been inside any of the units.

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Photo: Mike Montgomery 

Steve Harvey: Raw fish with an edge

Mention has been made here of sushi joints with such edgy names as 2 Die for Sushi and such adventurous menu items as "911 Roll." Here's one more example of the industry's offbeat approach -- a West L.A. eatery bragging about its aesthetically unpleasing combo. Maybe some soy sauce will help.

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Steve Harvey: An island park you can drive to

You can imagine my delight when I learned that an area near my mother's house had been granted "national park" status. What an honor for West L.A.!

Upon closer inspection, though, I noticed that the "park'" consisted of pavement surrounded by three streets.

Turns out the official-looking designations are posted at a number of local traffic islands and are --surprise -- fakes. A website (islandsofla.com) claims credit, or discredit (depending on your point of view), for the signs and explains that the intention is to provoke a discussion about the "role of art and dialogue in public space." (The signs, I guess, are the "art" part.)

Anyway, I've canceled vacation plans for the West L.A. traffic island, which is just as well. I'd save on gasoline but I have a fear of sleeping near wild creatures -- mainly Westside drivers.

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Photo: Steve Harvey / Los Angeles Times

Steve Harvey: Ship ahoy in the fast lane

Driving on the freeway can be a tedious and frustrating experience. Luckily, you can sometimes chance upon entertaining reading in the form of the destination signs. They might say that you're going in the direction of "Bakermento" or "Sacrafield" -- both errors have shown up on the signs -- or, if you happen to be piloting a ship on the 405, they might contain an important reminder for your turn-off.

Read the rest of today's Only in L.A. column by Steve Harvey.

Steve Harvey: A guide to adventurous dining

Readers have written to me about sushi menu items with such edgy names as "911 Roll" and "Heart Attack." Now, Pat Lee of Glendale has found a restaurant name that would seem to dare would-be patrons to enter.

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Photo: Pat Lee

Stairway to (exercise) heaven

You could climb Mt. Whitney -- or, like writer Dan Koeppel, get exercise (and more vertical ascent) on a 16.2-mile 'walking tour' of Los Angeles' outdoor stairs. Janet Cromwell reports:

One . . . more . . . step. Almost there. Top of the hill. Don't step on the smashed guavas. Step over the giant philodendron. Ignore the snapping dog.

More than 75 years ago, Laurel and Hardy struggled to maneuver a piano up these 131 Silver Lake steps in the classic comedy "The Music Box," cementing the staircase in cinematic history.
Hauling an oversized load up the oxygen-depleting ascent hasn't gotten any easier, but it's worth the trip.

Huff. Puff.

Wheeze a little while sucking a deep breath of eucalyptus into bursting lungs -- and then, there it is: a dazzling string of vintage, eclectic homes at the top of the longest outdoor staircase you've ever scaled.

Where? How? Answers in Janet's full story here.

Photo: Annie Wells / Los Angeles Times

Steve Harvey: Is this one of those sin taxes?

You know how much oil companies love money. Is that the reason for the L.U.S.T. tax that John Tong of Twentynine Palms noticed? Actually, L.U.S.T. stands for Leaking Underground Storage Tank.

Read the rest of today's Only in L.A. column by Steve Harvey.

Photo: John Tong