Abby Sunderland: Brave girl, questionable choice

If, at the age of 16, my daughter wanted to sail around the world by herself despite warnings from sailing experts that she’d be crossing the Indian Ocean during the most dangerous weather conditions of the year, I would tell her, order her and, if necessary, beg her to wait a couple of years.

If she insisted on doing it anyway, I’d compliment her bravery and then lock her in her room, chain her to a tree or slip sleeping pills into her oatmeal.

Abby Sunderland of Thousand Oaks said before leaving Marina del Rey in January that her parents were “trying to scare me out of” taking the trip, but her mom and dad, Marianne and Laurence, apparently gave in. Oh, darn, honey. Sure thing, if it’s what you really want to do.

Maybe the parents of seven couldn’t figure out how to say no to their daughter after allowing their son to do the same thing when he was 17, and it makes you long for the days of truancy officers. So what happened?

Abby ran into a storm between Australia and South Africa, with 25-foot waves and 70-mph gales, and her boat's mast apparently snapped like a twig. The good news is she survived, which we know because she was spotted from the air.

Qantas Airways sent a jetliner to look for her along with dozens of harbor patrol spotters, and fishing vessels were changing direction to rush to her aide. To echo the sentiment of some readers who’ve been weighing in at latimes.com, and wondering how this doesn’t come under the category of “reckless endangerment” by the parents, I hope Qantas and anyone else involved in the search sends the bills to mom and dad in Thousand Oaks.

And what’s with Qantas?

I often can’t get an airline to give me a seat assignment six months out from a flight, and these guys drop everything and send up a posse to look for a kid with irresponsible parents?

Look, I’m all for letting kids take smart risks, but this was a stupid one.

I’m no expert, but I’ve done enough sailing to know that when you’re on the water, six dozen things you’ve never even thought of can go wrong at any time.

Just a couple weeks ago, the body of an experienced, 57-year-old sailor washed up in Long Beach after he tried to sail alone from Santa Catalina Island to Marina del Rey in a storm.

She’s a brave kid, this Abby Sunderland.

As for the parents, I don’t know how old the rest of their kids are, but where will mom and dad draw the line on around-the-world trips? Let’s hope they don’t have a 10-year-old who gets the bug next.

-- Steve Lopez

Tell Steve what you think about this issue by commenting below.

Photo: Abby Sunderland

Credit: Al Seib / Los Angeles Times

Comments

[Malby]

My granddaughter wants to be a princess, but we're not building a castle for her. It's not a "dream"--it's a quest for an artificial "record." Big deal--how many 16 year olds could do the same thing if they had wealthy parents? Such parents should at least have to post a bond so that the taxpayers of different countries don't have to finance their kids' rescues.

[sam]

Abby did the right thing. The world is full of criticizers, like the author - a better word for them is assshols that will never live life.

[SoCal RN]

There was an interesting discussion on npr today, with one of the suggestions being that people who insist on these high-risk undertakings be required to take out insurance to cover the cost of a rescue should it become necessary. Not a bad idea.
Personally, I don't see extreme record seekers, such as sailors, balloonists and mountain climbers as heroes. For their selfish thrills, they put rescuers at risk and, in the case of Everest, leave a lot of debris behind. Just because "it's there," doesn't mean you have to climb it -- or sail it.

[kuruc]

what's the big deal? i was in the army in viet nam at age 18, and in a shooting zone for 13 months.

[David L]

The father clearly said they prayed about it, and God gave the thumbs up. They'll manage to twist this bit of questionable judgment (anything that happens) into being part of God's plan, because, as the father said further, God is in control. Actually God wanted the Australian teenager Jessica Watson to be the youngest to sail non-stop around the world. Which she did. They missed the message when Abby had to restart in Baja, and then failed when she had to stop in South Africa. Plus, their timing was way off.

I've been following Abby's blog, and I'm happy--for everyone's sake--she's fine, for the time being. May her rescue go well.

As for God giving the thumbs up? Better pay closer attention to which finger he's showing.

[Johnny99]

Ugh, reading all the angry helicopter parent rants here makes me fear for my future. We are truly rearing, frankly, a "generation of pussies".

Kudos to you Abby. Just by getting out the front door and seeing the world, you have already done more than most of these bitter people will have done in a lifetime.

[L. Dickinson]

I resent this trend with thrill-seeking (extreme sport aficiandos) who do reckless stuff and then expect to be saved when they get into trouble. They risk rescuer's lives. When some brainless thrill-seeker gets stuck on a steep cliff, they risk the lives of the cliff-rescue personnel who have to get them. Why should the public pay the cost of a rescue when someone puts themselves there needlessly? I think Abby's parents should pay for rescuing her.

[bill3801]

So many judgemental comments. Seems like few people have any understanding of what teenagers have accomplished in the early days of our country. Sorry, Steve, but you are clueless.

[Mestengo]

Abby has more guts and self confidence than you, in your wildest fantasy, will ever have. You are the whore cashing in on her efforts. In 18 months she will be old enough to get herself in real deep by serving in the Army. And she would be more prepared than half the kids that have volunteered.

Leave the kid alone. She deserves what she gets, not what you approve of.

[LL]

Bravo Mr. Lopez, I couldn't agree more. As far as I'm concerned I'd be impressed with anyone (over 18) saying they had done a solo sail around the world whether or not they broke an age record. I think the fact that they were allowing their daughter to put her life at risk is downright criminal and I am tired of Sunderland supporters saying "they were letting her live out her dream". Her dream could have waited until she was a little older with more sailing experience and in much better sailing conditions. Admit it, they were going for the glory of breaking a record and that's it. Was that glory really worth risking their daughter's life? Thankfully they didn't have to find out.

[LL]

Bravo Mr. Lopez, I couldn't agree more. As far as I'm concerned I'd be impressed with anyone (over 18) saying they had done a solo sail around the world whether or not they broke an age record. I think the fact that they were allowing their daughter to put her life at risk is downright criminal and I am tired of Sunderland supporters saying "they were letting her live out her dream". Her dream could have waited until she was a little older with more sailing experience and in much better sailing conditions. Admit it, they were going for the glory of breaking a record and that's it. Was that glory really worth risking their daughter's life? Thankfully they didn't have to find out.

[yikes]

Steve,

I find your phrasing and word choice here totally patronizing and downright creepy: "If she insisted on doing it anyway, I’d compliment her bravery and then lock her in her room, chain her to a tree or slip sleeping pills into her oatmeal."

What is this, Black Snake Moan?! Ew.

[zrusilla]

Where was the outcry when her brother Zac did the same thing? Could all the fuss now be because she's a girl? In this culture it's considered appropriate that a young woman that age make herself a vapid object of desire and wildly inappropriate to become a full human being and the subject of her own life.

[philip tonkovich]

Since when do you get the authority, and from whence, to run a family other than your own ? Personally, I don't give a damn what you think because it doesn't matter. Their experiences are theirs, not yours; they are beyond any need for your opinion. That girl and her family would, I venture, have made the same decisions if not one journalist inhabited any planet in any universe.

[EmCee]

What would be the difference if she had been killed by violent weather now or at age 25 doing the same thing? There's brave, there's foolhardy and there's insane. Taking on mother nature at her worst on the open sea, no matter what your age and experience, is all of the above.

[James]

Hello: idiot adults on this thread - the whole point of a 16 year old being under the guidance of parental figures..is because she's 16 F'N YEARS OLD. She doesn't have the experience of years to know what she's getting into..just as if she wanted to drive down to Mexico BY HERSELF at 16. "Let her sail.." You Hemingway fantasy lovers are basing your rational on decisions an ADULT, who has LIFE EXPERIENCE, should be making. "As dangerous as driving" Are you kidding me? I don't remember the last time the wind SNAPPED my car in two while I was speeding down the PCH. Yes, teens do need to spread their wings..within reason. Anyone over the age of 30 knows that in your TWENTIES you didn't know anything, and looking back, you knew even LESS IN YOUR TEENS - you are, esp in this day and age, a CHILD. Because you don't know the world. To send your daughter out around the world ALONE, with the modern dangers that are out there - let alone all the problems that can go wrong at sea - is completely irresponsible..and yes, if they didn't post a bond, they should be liable for every cost of this indulgence. Other kids are just trying to make it into college. Instead of spending thousands on a preventable international rescue-at-sea, maybe these parents should be forced to setup a scholarship: in logic & reasoning. Either that, or make a donation to Planned Parenthood.

[macbaldy]

Steve, most fathers have sexist reaction about daughters. That's how you're coming across. Don't know about your kids but many girls at 16 are ahead of boys at 16 for comparative maturity. This young person didn't spend her 16 years in your tutelage. She's in and from a sailing family. Already, she's from a different world than yours. After that disparity, you're really winging it, which is your choice; what she does, is not.

[Joseph M. Rougeau]

Totally agree with SL. Responsible child, irresponsible and media seeking parents.

The young lady should be in school.

[Enlightenment]

This girl isn't your daughter, so it DON'T matter what you think! Just because your children are lazy sheltered kids doesn't mean all kids should be the same. Helicopter parenting and handing out awards / tropthies just for showing up has spoiled and messed up children, so quit it! All you losers can now go back to beating your kids.

[cell626]

i'm calling child services as we speak. locked down in a group home will do her some good for the next two years.

[Cindy]

Abby is not an "enterprising young woman." She is a spoiled brat; there is no way she could have bought this boat with her own babysitting money, she's doing this with her parents' property and on her parents' dime. The cost estimate to repair the mast on the boat is $90,000. If the mast alone costs $90,000 on her boat, I'd have to think the entire boat is worth a lot more than $100,000. Why are the parents handing over responsibility of an expensive watercraft to a young person who can't possibly have that much sailing experience, particularly on the open ocean? What would people say if they handed her the keys to a Porsche and allowed her to take a cross-country driving trip in a car? During the height of winter? The timing of her trip couldn't be worse. Also, young women are subject to predators in a way young men aren't. Should she run into other craft on her voyage, most of them would be staffed with men, some of whom haven't seen a woman in some time. I don't see anything acceptable in the unacceptable risks the parents "allowed" (more likely encouraged) this teen-aged girl to take.

[John Gargano]

What's all this baloney about the parents trying to scare her from the trip? As if a 16 year old kid has the resources to take on a voyage like this by herself. There was clearly some serious cash and effort put into this deal by her irresponsible parents.

The job of a parent is to give their kids what they need to go out into the world by themselves when the right time comes. Sixteen years old isn old enough to go out into the world alone and its is nowhere near old enough to take on a solo sailing trip around the world - as we can all see.

If some adventurer wants to risk their life - fine. We do not consider anyone who is 16 years old to be a fully grown and mature adult capable of taking on the world by themselves in any respect, let alone to take on a seriously life threatening voyage like this.

Now lets consider the people, time and resources that are now required to bail her out of this horrendous mess. I can't even put a number on it. Wouldn't those funds have been better spent helping a far greater number of people doing many things far less egotistical - such as getting clean water to their home, feeding their children or obtaining health care for a sick child?

This self-absorbed, reckless and irresponsible family has no concept of their place in the world. They have soaked up more time and money than they are worth. I hope people take this up with the equally irresponsible sponsors of this foolish voyage.

This girl will have plenty of time to go out and risk her life when she is older, more capable and willing to absorb the cost of any rescue efforts needed to save her if she gets in trouble again.

[J.H Brown]

Everyone runs their home the way they want to not the way people want them to do.

[Uncle Kevin]

By badmouthing Quantas, you don't understand Aussies, mate. So, fair go--your car is stuck in the mud, and someone in a suit on his way to work will stop and help you out. Would a seppo do the same?

[Ross]

As an Australian tax payer, why do I have to pay for this girl's rescue?? The Australian Air Force has sent out several planes to assist in her rescue. Her parents are irresponsible. But I presume Mr Sunderland will reimburse us here in Australia for the monies spent once he sells his story to the highest bidder.. Somehow I doubt it