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Jaycee Dugard's diary entries offer insight into her captivity

February 12, 2010 |  7:27 am

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Excerpts from a diary kept by a woman held captive for 18 years in Northern California were filed in court this week, providing insights into Jaycee Dugard's mental state as she was kept prisoner.

Prosecutors cited the diary entries when seeking a protective order that would bar her alleged captor, Phil Garrido and his wife Nancy, from contacting Dugard and the woman's children fathered by Garrido. Garrido faces kidnapping, rape and other charges.

Dugard was grabbed from outside South Lake Tahoe home in 1991.

Here are some excerpts from the diary from the Associated Press. They show Dugard's fears as well as her need to protect Garrido:

1994: "I got (a cat) for my birthday from Phil and Nancy ... they did something for me that no one else would do for me, they paid 200 dollars just so I could have my own kitten."

2004:  "I don't want to hurt (Garrido)  ... sometimes I think my very presence hurts him," she wrote. "So how can I ever tell him how I want to be free. Free to come and go as I please ... Free to say I have a family. I will never cause him pain if it's in my power to prevent it. FREE."

2004: "It feels like I'm sinking. ... this is supposed to be my life to do with what I like ... but once again he has taken it away. "How many times is he allowed to take it away from me?" she wrote. "I am afraid he doesn't see how the things he says makes me a prisoner."

--Shelby Grad

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