Steve Lopez gives up on Manny, and his World Series tickets

Times columnist Steve Lopez is fed up with Manny Ramirez. He's so disgusted with the Dodgers slugger that he's decided to give up his own World Series tickets. The Dodgers, of course, first must defeat two playoff opponents to reach what would be their first World Series since 1988, but if it happens, Lopez won't be joining them there:

So here I am with World Series tickets in my hand and a wave of hysteria sweeping the city. I'm sorry for being the cockroach in the punch bowl, but I can't bring myself to join the party. The only thing that could get me to the ballpark in the post-season would be if Manager Joe Torre were to staple Manny's dreadlocks to the dugout wall and play Juan Pierre in his place. I'd rather lose with a scrappy singles hitter like Pierre than win with a loafing slugger like Ramirez.

Maybe I'll be in a more forgiving mood next year and return to the ballpark -- I just don't know. But I'm giving my World Series tickets this year to the person who writes my favorite 50-word sermon to Ramirez.

Read the full column here. For Steve to consider your sermon of no more than 50 words, post it as a comment below by noon Pacific Daylight Time on Friday, Oct. 9, 2009.

Comments

[John Oldach]

50 words on Manny Ramirez? I don’t want to. It’s going to wear me out. My hair is still wet and man, it gets heavy holding my head up. Finding anything in my head is an even harder job. So why bother? What’s in it for me? Nada mucho.

[Chris Halverson]

And I will strike down upon Manny with great vengeance and furious anger thou who would attempt to poison and destroy my Dodgers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon Manny!

[Rory Aguilera]

Mr. Lopez,

This sorry excuse of a ball player needs to stop wasting our time, he's a disgrace to that beautiful perly white and blue uniform that so many greats have worn before him. Reese, Hodges, Drysdale, Garvey just to name a few. Real men who played with a sense of urgency and pride. I think of Gil Hodges who like myself is a combat veteran knows what "urgency" means, having survived battle in okinawa. Manny, on the the other hand with his sloppy, nasty dreadlocks alone make me sick!

[Maribeth Borowski]

I think Manny is awesome because he has hit 546 home runs! He’s also #2 of all time hitting grand slams. He has been in all stars for 12 years. He was the 2004 World Series MVP. In 1999, Manny was put into the New York Athletic Hall of Fame.

you said sermon...

[Chris Halverson]

...and I will strike down upon Manny with great vengeance and furious anger thou who would attempt to poison and destroy my Dodgers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon Manny!

[Danielle Wilson]

ETERNALLY GRATEFUL
Love your fan as yourself

"A life is not important except in the impact it has on other lives."
Robinson 19:19

Would-be baseball hall-of-famer Manny Ramirez - we can learn from; a selfish man - cheating to greatness via illegal drugs. Dishonestly apologizing to supporters, Manny cowered from public sliding into an apathetic slump. Take from example, assumption of responsibility for choices - never betray those that support us despite failures.

(Mr. Lopez - I'm only counting the paragraph in the "50 or less words" sermon, I hope you do too.)

[John Oldach]

50 words on Manny Ramirez? I don’t want to. It’s going to wear me out. My hair is still wet and man, it gets heavy holding my head up. Finding anything in my head is an even harder job. So why bother? What’s in it for me? Nada mucho.

[Kevin B]

Manny you didn’t fight your suspension and now it appears you have no fight left at all. Some people take hCG for erectile dysfunctions, well one thing is certain - since you have returned from your ban you have had some serious limp wood. Manny Wood? Manny Wouldn’t.

[Ricardo Ramirez]

Manny, without reason you needed that fix during the offseason. As such, you brought shame to the game and my last name. Stop acting like you're Baretta, and become a team player like Mark Loretta. I will always root for Dodger Blue and will always boo and criticize you.

-Ricardo Ramirez

[BBB]

Manny, amigo, compadre,

You’ve lost a step, eh?

Just can’t keep up with the elite players anymore can you? Nope.

That’s why Boston got rid of you. And why L.A. will too.

You are washed up. It’s over. Baseball doesn’t need you anymore.

Adios, old friend,

- Your Former Fans

[Mr. G]

Sorry, I misread the directions the the purpose of our comments.

I though you might want to read what I wrote anyway.

Mr. G

The maestro from L.A.

Teaching ninos gone astray,

Spends his last dollar,

Making students hollar,

Couldn’t feel better,

A real go-getter.

It’s Mr. G’s life.

Like October leaves

From urban trees

Whisper with every breeze,

This Echo Park buck,

Who’s down on luck,

Whispers a truthful tale

Why schools fail.

The present is rough and not a blast,

Mr. G needs the past

Of old childhood laughs.

Would like to hear your response.

Mr. G

[Don Geller]

Sung to “Sherry Baby”

Manny, Manny Baby (2x)
Manny, won’t you come out to play?

You seemed to be for us
until you hired Scott Boras.

Then you kept us in-the-dark
as you hit ‘em out-of-the-park.

Now your contract should be void
since you perform only on ‘roids.

Oh, Manny, can’t you just go-oh, away?

[The Rew]

What were Manny's sins? Well he didn't rape or kill nobody which is a plus, but what he did to Dodger fans was unforgivable. He turned us into hypocrites, rooting and cheering for something we should have despised. He made us feel like Giants fans.

[Christopher Dean]

After Boston gave you the boot, the Dodgers gave you Manywood. After Sox fans cursed your slow pout to first, Dodger fans showered you with cheers.

To reward this loyalty, you gave this gift to all Dodger fans: the realization that your heroism was as steroidal as your biceps and batting average.

[Brandon Vondera]

For tickets to Mannywood, $99 I paid.
For your dreadlocks, $30 I paid.
For your jersey, $175 I paid.
For parking even, an extra $5, up with I came.

My whole life I've been True Blue!

For all your money and fame, it took cheating the game.

How lame!

[MasonMal99]

When you first came to the Dodgers, I would yell at opposing pitchers to throw the ball at you. They never heard me through the tv.

I still root for pitchers to hit you, but nowadays it's less out of hatred, and more so you can get on base.

[Brandon Vondera]

Manny stinks!

Go Dodgers! Win the World Series.

Sing praises to Jackie, cheers to Vin!

To this game, I'm in.

Thanks, Steve!

[Brandon Vondera]

Manny stinks!

Go Dodgers! Win the World Series.

Sing praises to Jackie, cheers to Vin!

To this game, I'm in.

Thanks, Steve!

[Brandon Vondera]

Manny stinks!

Go Dodgers! Win the World Series.

Sing praises to Jackie, cheers to Vin!

To this game, I'm in.

Thanks, Steve!

[Christopher Dean]

With many apologies to Ernest Thayer:

Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright;
The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light,
And somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout;
But there is no joy in Mannywood - mighty Manny has struck out.

See the real thing at: http://www.baseball-almanac.com/poetry/po_case.shtml