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Steve Lopez gives up on Manny, and his World Series tickets

Manny600

Times columnist Steve Lopez is fed up with Manny Ramirez. He's so disgusted with the Dodgers slugger that he's decided to give up his own World Series tickets. The Dodgers, of course, first must defeat two playoff opponents to reach what would be their first World Series since 1988, but if it happens, Lopez won't be joining them there:

Lopez So here I am with World Series tickets in my hand and a wave of hysteria sweeping the city. I'm sorry for being the cockroach in the punch bowl, but I can't bring myself to join the party. The only thing that could get me to the ballpark in the post-season would be if Manager Joe Torre were to staple Manny's dreadlocks to the dugout wall and play Juan Pierre in his place. I'd rather lose with a scrappy singles hitter like Pierre than win with a loafing slugger like Ramirez.

Maybe I'll be in a more forgiving mood next year and return to the ballpark -- I just don't know. But I'm giving my World Series tickets this year to the person who writes my favorite 50-word sermon to Ramirez.

Read the full column here. For Steve to consider your sermon of no more than 50 words, post it as a comment below by noon Pacific Daylight Time on Friday, Oct. 9, 2009.

 
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Manny,

Last year, we saw you as a savior, living up to the meaning of your name. You have huge sandals to fill, being named after the babe in swaddling clothes (ref: Matthew 1:23). Unfortunately, you’ve gone from being “GOD with us” to “DOG with us.”

You’ve went from second choice for rookie of the year with the Indians to testing positive for performance enhancing drugs in 2009. Is this what people want in a Dodger along side of Garvey and Robinson? To be great you must be responsible and aware of your actions on society.

Manny…the honeymoon is over. We didn't grow apart over time. You were just more “predator” than “savior.” If you were going to cheat all of us you could've at least done a Viagra commercial to placate our judgment. Instead we all had to learn the hard way that you “are” who Boston said you “were.”

Manny…the honeymoon is over. We didn't grow apart over time. You were just more “predator” than “savior.” If you were going to cheat all of us you could've at least done a Viagra commercial to placate our judgment. Instead we all had to learn the hard way that you “are” who Boston said you “were.”

Manny,

Many words have passed since Mr. Lopez appealed for a sermon that might appeal to your sense of decency. It need only be said that T. J. Simmers loves you and if that doesn't scare the Hell out of you and cause you to reflect than you are truly irredeemable and a lost soul.

Resubmission
Oh Manny, you came and we were all hoping.
But you fritted your time away, oh Manny.

There was drugs and sloppy play;
yet you collected a lot of cash,
Now the season is ending and
maybe the Dodgers will get rid of you at last.
Oh Manny.

Manny, you’re a steroid riddled behemoth wearing a uniform like a 2 year-old carting around a load in his pajama bottoms. How about a little less flapping your trap and a little more heartfelt appreciation for the masses, which somehow still snap your picture whenever you come to the plate.

Dear Manny,

My 7th grade students have something to tell you in 50 words or less.

- On my birthday, I was excited that Manny Ramirez was coming back from his suspension. I thought Manny was going to play amazing for my birthday, but I realized steroids can ruin a person. He played terrible. I felt like ripping his baseball card into pieces. Manny let me down.

- Baseball is America’s favorite sport. I personally admire sport players and I want to be like them. What Manny is doing is a huge disappointment.

- Even though I’m 13, I understand the value of sportsmanship. Clearly, Manny Ramirez does not. I can’t believe Manny would let down his team, fans, and city and now I don’t even go to Dodger games anymore. I loved baseball.

- I think Manny Ramirez could be a better influence on the baseball world. So far, however, he has been suspended for 50 games, taken steroids and has been lacking in his game. Manny Ramirez should start caring about how he plays rather than about how guilty he feels about the juice.

- I find it selfish to disappoint your team and fans. Aren’t your team members your friends too? Don’t you realize that what you are doing is letting down your friends? There are children that are your fans and looked up to you as a role model.

- Manny was the best thing that had happened to the Dodgers last year. The next year that was gone. My 4-year-old sister loved him but she cried when I told her what was happening to him. Go back to Boston and take your drugs.

- I am Miss Southern California and love my city. Manny Ramirez represents our city and is bringing us all down! People look up to this man, but he is being selfish and rude. It is my duty to let him know what he is doing. You are acting like a disgrace to our city.

- Manny, do you really think steroids are making more fans like you? You are making Dodger fans not enjoy games. Imagine having a friend who was using steroids and not playing to your full potential. You would say it’s wrong, right? Please stop being selfish.

- Manny Ramirez disappointed the whole world of baseball. After he took steroids he didn’t care about his effort of playing. Someone shouldn’t pay so much to see Manny not try his best. This guy should start caring.

- Manny Ramirez is a disgrace to baseball. He should be grateful that he has any fans. For someone to pay so much for so little is terrible. He doesn’t care. I am very disappointed in him.

- I think it is intolerable that sportsmanship is not important to Manny Ramirez. I am a seventh grader that cares about baseball. Manny Ramirez has to change now.

- I wouldn’t use steroids or drugs. I would especially never lie or cheat my way out of life. I’m disappointed in you for not playing to your full potential. On behalf of all dodger fans, I’m appalled at your behavior.

- Manny Ramirez is a disgrace to the world of baseball. I’m ashamed of Manny Ramirez’s choices. He was a great player and made some bad decisions and he had to pay the price. I can only hope he learned his lesson.

- Homeruns don’t matter unless they’re legitimate. Manny should play fair. This is a disappointment to his fans and a disgrace to baseball. Play fair or don’t play at all.

Dear Manny,

My 7th grade students have something to tell you in 50 words or less.

- On my birthday, I was excited that Manny Ramirez was coming back from his suspension. I thought Manny was going to play amazing for my birthday, but I realized steroids can ruin a person. He played terrible. I felt like ripping his baseball card into pieces. Manny let me down.

- Baseball is America’s favorite sport. I personally admire sport players and I want to be like them. What Manny is doing is a huge disappointment.

- Even though I’m 13, I understand the value of sportsmanship. Clearly, Manny Ramirez does not. I can’t believe Manny would let down his team, fans, and city and now I don’t even go to Dodger games anymore. I loved baseball.

- I think Manny Ramirez could be a better influence on the baseball world. So far, however, he has been suspended for 50 games, taken steroids and has been lacking in his game. Manny Ramirez should start caring about how he plays rather than about how guilty he feels about the juice.

- I find it selfish to disappoint your team and fans. Aren’t your team members your friends too? Don’t you realize that what you are doing is letting down your friends? There are children that are your fans and looked up to you as a role model.

- Manny was the best thing that had happened to the Dodgers last year. The next year that was gone. My 4-year-old sister loved him but she cried when I told her what was happening to him. Go back to Boston and take your drugs.

- I am Miss Southern California and love my city. Manny Ramirez represents our city and is bringing us all down! People look up to this man, but he is being selfish and rude. It is my duty to let him know what he is doing. You are acting like a disgrace to our city.

- Manny, do you really think steroids are making more fans like you? You are making Dodger fans not enjoy games. Imagine having a friend who was using steroids and not playing to your full potential. You would say it’s wrong, right? Please stop being selfish.

- Manny Ramirez disappointed the whole world of baseball. After he took steroids he didn’t care about his effort of playing. Someone shouldn’t pay so much to see Manny not try his best. This guy should start caring.

- Manny Ramirez is a disgrace to baseball. He should be grateful that he has any fans. For someone to pay so much for so little is terrible. He doesn’t care. I am very disappointed in him.

- I think it is intolerable that sportsmanship is not important to Manny Ramirez. I am a seventh grader that cares about baseball. Manny Ramirez has to change now.

- I wouldn’t use steroids or drugs. I would especially never lie or cheat my way out of life. I’m disappointed in you for not playing to your full potential. On behalf of all dodger fans, I’m appalled at your behavior.

- Manny Ramirez is a disgrace to the world of baseball. I’m ashamed of Manny Ramirez’s choices. He was a great player and made some bad decisions and he had to pay the price. I can only hope he learned his lesson.

- Homeruns don’t matter unless they’re legitimate. Manny should play fair. This is a disappointment to his fans and a disgrace to baseball. Play fair or don’t play at all.

Dear Manny,

I don’t know your mom.

I’ve never met your dad.

This I know.

They’re hurting, more than you know, more than they admit.

Mom and Dad want two things: honesty and your best work.

They’ve done their part.

It’s your turn.

Make them proud.

Sincerely,
A Dad

Manny of the locks
Make your presence known to us
Through deed. Not repute.

Manny,

In September I was fortunate enough to see you drop an easily-catchable fly ball at a Dodgers-Giants game. Your performance was so inspiring I adopted your performance ethic. This has resulted in a dramatic drop in my work load coupled with increased salary. Thanks for the tip.

Manny,

In September I was fortunate enough to see you drop an easily-catchable fly ball at a Dodgers-Giants game. Your performance was so inspiring I adopted your performance ethic. This has resulted in a dramatic drop in my work load coupled with increased salary. Thanks for the tip.

I get the effort you put into being the coolest looking player. If your dreadlocks need reshaping, if your goatee needs trimming or if your distressed helmet is looking too shiny, you take care of it. Put that effort into batting practice, and you'll play as good as you look!

"I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him." Okay, not him, but to bury fraud, deceit, lying, obvious lack of self-respect (without self-respect one cannot respect others), and $45 million that honest, hard working people never see in a lifetime. Whatever happened to pride in a job well done?

Pictures of California's War Dead are on the same online page as this article. Manny, think about what those 558 soldiers would give for one more day on earth. Please show some humility and appreciation for what they no longer have: a body and life to do what they love.

ODE TO MANNY
There once was a Dodger named Manny,
Catching fly balls on his fanny.
Oh my, he could hit,
But fans, in a fit,
Wished he'd play with some pride.....But can he?

Look inward, not at Manny! Parents take their kids; cheer for the Dodgers. Yea Parents! -- "Kids, support a cheater and provide revenue to an organization whose star player is a slacker." A columnist pays $500 – then proposes a contest that publicizes Mannywood. And there is the contestant, desperate for tickets ...

Ode on a Charlie No-Hustle

A slugger, but not much more
Marketable dreadlocks booted by Red Sox
Come here, we’ll sell tickets galore

Female fertility drugs bring only shrugs
Human growth hormone and 50 games alone
Yet swindled Mannywood members offer hugs

How dare you rob Pierre?

Came from Boston with a chip on his shoulder
Needle in his glute and a glove like a boulder
Juicing, loafing, fraudster… an overpaid waste
Give a true teammate a post-season taste
Dreadlocked and half-cocked on a third-strike stare
Hey Joe, he don’t care… let’s play Pierre!

A Haiku for Our Times

Now Simmers seethes
Flummoxed by Steve's challenge
Manny: odd man out

Manny: Steve Lopez's Supermanny you aint, but you can muster an over-all
"B" average for the fans. Okey doughkey? Only on "A" batting days may left field be Mister Dodger's Neighborhood; on "C" batting days, you gotta earn
an "A" in fielding to maintain your "B" average.

Mighty Manny was his name
To his uniform he brought only shame
Scorning fans in Mannywood and Dodger Town
Letting team mates down
Cheating in the noble game
Dishonoring those heroes who came before
Dope Boy must face the truth
He has no right to wear that Dodger Blue

Manny, on a hot summer day you came to L.A.
Our hopes were raised, along with our parking, how shocking?

Then news broke, you were just a big joke!
Us fans came back loudly cheering, all the while most were sneering.

Manny please go away, because,
'We love L.A.!'

Manny: Steve Lopez's poetic Supermanny you ain't, but you can muster an all-over "B" average for the fans. Okey doughkey? Only on "A" batting days may left field be Mister Dodger's Neighborhood; on "C" batting days, you gotta earn an "A" in fielding to maintain your "B" average.

 
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