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Steve Lopez gives up on Manny, and his World Series tickets

Manny600

Times columnist Steve Lopez is fed up with Manny Ramirez. He's so disgusted with the Dodgers slugger that he's decided to give up his own World Series tickets. The Dodgers, of course, first must defeat two playoff opponents to reach what would be their first World Series since 1988, but if it happens, Lopez won't be joining them there:

Lopez So here I am with World Series tickets in my hand and a wave of hysteria sweeping the city. I'm sorry for being the cockroach in the punch bowl, but I can't bring myself to join the party. The only thing that could get me to the ballpark in the post-season would be if Manager Joe Torre were to staple Manny's dreadlocks to the dugout wall and play Juan Pierre in his place. I'd rather lose with a scrappy singles hitter like Pierre than win with a loafing slugger like Ramirez.

Maybe I'll be in a more forgiving mood next year and return to the ballpark -- I just don't know. But I'm giving my World Series tickets this year to the person who writes my favorite 50-word sermon to Ramirez.

Read the full column here. For Steve to consider your sermon of no more than 50 words, post it as a comment below by noon Pacific Daylight Time on Friday, Oct. 9, 2009.

 
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The Sermon of Manny

Ye shall have faith for one will come who wears his hair all tangles and long
He wields a might bat but cry's "Foul" when fans attack
His ego no longer around
The fabled trophy they shall seek
But Manny will have one out of his seat
So part with the tickets and give them to me
I have faith oh yes faith in the one with hair not quite down to his knees

Sorry First one was more than 50 here you go

The Sermon of Manny

Have faith for one will come who wears his hair all tangles and long
He wields a might bat but cry's "Foul" when fans attack
The fabled trophy they shall seek
So part with the tickets and give them to me
I have faith with Manny Manny you see

Manny, people where there the first day you came and we accepted you. Then you messed up and lied to us. You were our savior then we found out you were just cheating us. I looked up to you now I look down on you.

The hearts of Mannywood have been broken
Because you took Human Chorionic Gonadotropin
With your hitting last summer few rivals could beat us
Thanks to a drug that helps make a fetus
Once caught you couldn’t look fans in the face
Now all you do is leave men on base

Manny...you ignorant slut. Bagged-out, juiced-up meat like you know the rules. You need to be honest & play hard, which is a problem for you, Manny, who hops from excuse to excuse with the frequency of a cheap ham radio. Someday you'll just be a burned-out embarrassment…Wait! You already are.

He came from the East and gave us hope.
Disrespected us during the offseason,
came back to us, he had no choice.
Cheated us out of 50 games,
luckily we were saved by Juan not Jesus,
and the cheat came back with no remorse,
just to 1,2,3 strikes you’re out!


You came to us from eastern climes,
A slugger good, that’s true,
You said that you would make us proud,
When you donned Dodger blue.

But now we see those dreaded locks,
Ground balls...
Strikeouts...
Pop flys.

The quest for truth,
Is over now,
In Mannywood it lies.

Oh Ye of little Faith,
Manny Ramirez is Great!
He is great at being a big Turd,
calling him the savior of the Dodgers is absurd!
His dreadlocks may dangle and flow,
but he doesn't care about, the fans, his team, or Joe!

Oh Manny,

Your apology was the only thing weaker than your bat.
Your acceptance of blame more pathetic as your glove in the field.
But even more sad is those fools in the stands who elevate your fame at the expense of America's Game.

Signed,

A Fool

To Manny,
In an age of financial upheaval, massive unemployment, war, deep political divide, and an uncertain future, I can not bring myself to attend baseball games in which you participate. Your crimes against baseball, our Nation, and humanity leave me no choice.

I am secure in my judgment, having lived a perfect life, never knowingly stretched or altered facts to make a point in my column, or "phoned one in" when I really didn't feel up to it.

Steve Lopez

Ramirez, how dare you wear the colors of the Dodgers great past! You should be sickened everyday you step on history soaked field of Dodgers stadium. I'm glad you in LA for one reason and one reason only, and
that’s to personally welcome you to the MLB's wall of shame.

I have faith in the "BLUE" and Manny this never included you.
You never had me at "Hello" just proved me right when your testosterone was low. Your hustle on defense just lets me down more so than the Deal for Kevin brown , Pierre Please help and turn things around.

Manny. Your contract pays more than the Abramoff restitution and you're prancing about left field with all the grace of the Muppets' production of Rumplestiltskin. Grow a pair or tie those dreads to the end of a broomstick to stow in the bathroom for next wasabi night with Hiroki Kuroda.

Mr. Manny,
What happened? Where is your sense of pride for yourself and your family? Jim Brown just told Michael Crabtree, “And you don't realize that your legacy will be based upon how you perform, not how much money you made?” Maybe you should listen to Mr. Brown.
A Fan.

Polanski, Gibson, Lebron, Kobe, Romanowski, Artest, Phillips (yes Lawrence). They rape, bark anti-semitic rants, don't shake hands, rape, spit, beat up fans, and yes rape. Manny? Swings & Misses & Trots & Tweaks. The award is 45 big ones and 50 games vakay. Sign me up!

Quite frankly, I'm writing the worst possible entry that I can think of because I don't think the Dodgers are going to make it to the World Series. If the Dodgers don't make it to the series, no matter if I win this competition or not, I still won't be getting the tickets. So don't pick me, Steve Lopez. I happen to like Manny, even after all the BS he's put us through. So taking a page out of my friend Manny's book, I'm not even going to try to win, because hey, at the end of the day- I need your tickets like Manny needs another million bucks. (Although, like Manny, I won't say no, either)

Take him out of Mannywood, take him away from the crowd.

Buy him some scissors and chop his locks.

I don’t care if he never comes back.

For its 1 2 3 strikes you’re out

At the old ball game!

Sorry Manny.

They let you down. The owners, the management, the union and the press. They all knew it was going on, they just wanted the money. You're rich but they're richer and your head is more likely to pull a Lyle Alzado then theirs. Sorry they used you.

Ode to Manny

Manny, I am not a fan
You cause me little pain.
You are recalcitrant and dumb
A fault many others claim.
You lack respect for anyone,
Yourself included
What a Bum!
Like Barry Bonds,
Forever tainted
By the needles stain.

Selfish. Ungrateful. Irresponsible. Immature. A punk. Your team can't count on you. I sure don't. What is the problem Manuel. You can't perform unless you ARE juiced? Pathetic. Don't mind me though. If you and the other So Cal team get into the Series, I'll be rooting for the Angels.

Ramirez, how dare you wear the colors of the Dodgers great past!
You should be sickened everyday you step on history soaked field of Dodgers stadium. I'm glad you in LA for one reason and one reason only, and
that’s to personally welcome you to the MLB's wall of shame.

This is to Steve Lopez;

Dude chill out, loosen the sphincter and enjoy life a little and the game.

I mean, geez if you let one guy's slouching ruin it for you and it keeps you from a Dodger world series game, you should follow another sport that doesn't hurt your sensibilities. Try lawn bowling, darts or curling.

If there's anything worse then a loafing ball player it's a columnist whining about baseball.

In other words quit acting like a freaking baby. I betcha your old man would tell you the same - knock it the EF off, have a brew, enjoy the game and count your blessings because one player doesn't make the team.

That's it Lopez. I hope the Dodgers make it to the WS and it's big of you to give away your ticket but it's also a silly stunt.


Pride and honor: look these words up. Great Players have them both. Pride in team. Honor in accomplishments. Your numbers may be great, but you’re not a Great Player. It’s time to act like a Great Dodger Player or at least do the right thing - opt out of your contract.

You to Mr. Ramirez a "Druggy" How could you do this to the fans, team, city, especially coach Torre. But from every bad thing comes a good thing, a chance for Juan, Cassey, Andre and the rest of the team to show that they don't need Manny to succeed.

I don't want your damn tickets...I gave up spending my money on MLB when they went out on strike in 1981...I wouldn't spend any more of my money on those greedy ingrates...you think I'd spend money on greedy ingrates that are juiced CHEATS?

 
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