Bullying and the death of Jeremiah Lasater: Readers' anger and anguish

The assertion by school officials that they didn't know of the bullying at Vasquez High School in Acton has struck a hollow note with many Times readers in the wake of the suicide of 14-year-old student Jeremiah Lasater earlier this week.

“It disgusts me to hear this principle of the school in an off handed way say she cannot fix what she is unaware of, not the point,” writes Kristen Lanter. “This is tragic, a tragic life that deserves compassion, not some lame excuse. It’s not about blame but have some flipping compassion!

Nat Trigoboff, of Coral Springs, Fla., says it is the job of teachers and administrators to know when and where bullying takes place and to punish those who do it.

“The attitude expressed of it wasn't reported so didn't know about it so don't blame me is a reaction of someone who does not want to take responsibility,” he writes.

“I was a dean of students at Andrew Jackson High School in the Cambria Heights section of the borough of Queens in New York City. At this school there were seven deans, eleven security guards, two teachers who supervised the security guards, and two police officers assigned to the school. My policy for bullying was simple, I did not tolerate it and made judgments as to who was bullying and who was the victim.”

The responsibility of parents doesn't end with standing up for the victims, according to Mary Taylor, who writes for BingNote.Com as "The Schoolmarm.

“We can not allow our children to participate in bullying, or to stand idly by,” she writes. “Can't we instill in our kids that there is value to every human being? We can't leave it all up to the school. It starts at home. I repeat, it starts at home!”

Taylor offers suggestions to concerned parents: “Attend PTA meetings and other school organizations. Ask the administrators what the policy of the school is regarding teasing and bullying. If they say they have zero tolerance for bullying, ask them what that means and if it is working. Ask what intervention is provided for at-risk kids.

“For Jeremiah Lasater, it is too late," she writes. "But I guarantee you, there are many other "uncool" kids, boys and girls, who cried themselves to sleep last night, dreading to go to school today.”

More information on the causes of bullying and what school communities can do about it right here.

--Alexandra Zavis

More reactions after the jump.

 

Sally Primm took a different approach at her kids’ school.

“Teachers, administrators, coaches, neighbors, religious instructors, parents who interact with children and young adults have a huge opportunity to model and express positive behavior and choices. Just by being kind and taking the time,” she writes.

“Years ago I initiated a Random Acts of Kindness program in our elementary school here in Thousand Oaks,” she writes. “Besides parents volunteering to read from a Random Acts book in each classroom and the student council performing a skit on positive behavior versus negative behavior the kids were each asked to write a story about something positive they had done with a neighbor, sibling, pet, whatever and then to illustrate it. Most of the writings were sweet and funny but some stories turned in were so touching, and this was from 2nd, 3rd and 4th graders. The collection of stories was bound by classroom and then placed in the library where kids could then read these stories and reconnect to positive living.”

Lasater’s desperate act moved several readers to share to their own experiences of being bullied.

“It was very sad to me that these bullies had pushed him so far,” wrote Kim, who did not give a last name.

“I attended the Junior High there many years ago and I was taunted as well. It got so bad for me that I insisted on having my parents put me in a different highschool. It seems like in a small town its even worse to be picked on because everyone knows everyone. I truly hate that town! It was the worse years of my life. My prayers go out to the family.”

Daniel Koehler writes: “I am forty years old, but this stirs up so many bitter memories of a period in my youth when I was targeted by the mean kids while the teachers (one in particular -- and do I ever want to get in touch with HER today) witnessed it all and ignored it. It can make you go from being one of the brightest kids to the most deflated and indifferent almost instantly. Or, most tragically, end like this.

“I could never understand how that wicked witch could be so cold. And now to hear this rotten excuse for a principal speak in the same tones: 'I'm on the yard at snack and lunch, and I don't see any of it. I can't fix what I'm not aware of.'  What empathy and accountability!”

State schools chief Jack O’Connell reminds us in a statement that California passed a law last month giving school officials the authority to suspend or expel a student for bullying, including acts of electronic bullying.

“While the details of his death have not been fully clarified, it has been reported by fellow students that Jeremiah may have been the victim of bullying,” he says. “I sincerely hope this is not the case, but call upon all Californians to make it clear that intentional intimidation and harassment is abhorrent and will not be tolerated at any school, on any playground.”

Comments

[Jeff Cohen]

I think the principal is a liar. She says that her and the staff did not know of the bullying. But the LA Times and other news sources said that there were teachers who knew of the Bullying incidents. I agree with one reader who said "if the principal didn't know she should have known".

I don't see why the Schools don't follow the laws that every body else in society has to follow. For example if me or you hit someone, throw things at them or spit on them it is considered assault.

So just because we are children in School we are allowed to assault people and taunt them because we fell like it. This appears to be a situation to bring in the police if the do nothing principal and school staff won't do anything.

Also the parents need to be proactive and sensitive to thier children also.

Jeff

[Adam]

I think this is tragic and that they boys who have been bullying him should all be punished. I know as a high school kid I was bullied. It took me having to take things into my own hands and beating the kid that was bullying me very badly. This after I had reported this many times to my schools administrators. Because I was the one to act out violently, after being bullied the entire year, I was the one suspended from school and the one who faced assault and battery charges. It should not have to come to this. Our school officials should do something about the problem, not just let it drag on. I know that this family has to feel an unreal amount of pain for the loss of their son. They lost him for no reason. I pray that the names of the bullies are never released for the fear of vigilante justice. And for the parents of the bullies, shame on you for not instilling better values in your children.

[Dan]

The night of, or the night after the death of Jeremiah, a teacher from his campus was interviewed on one of our local tv news stations. He stated that he had regularly seen Jeremiah bullied. This is in direct conflict with the school Superintendants statement in the LA Times that no school staff knew anything of him being bullied. This seems like something that either the paper or one of the TV news stations should pick up on and bring to the publics attention. If this tape exists, it should be brought forth.

[sami v]

jeramiah was one of my best friends when i was in 6th and 7th but he went to vazques i still made contact with him but we didnt hang out much. i miss him a lot. he didnt deserve to go. he was an amazing guy, and shouldn't have been bullied...even though he picked on a couple kids/friends of mine....but anywaaayyy ily jeramiah,hope you're in a better place<3 =\