A life of art, addiction, arrest and injury

Long before her arrest by federal agents investigating a Los Angeles smuggling ring, Roxanna Brown was a promising young ceramics scholar starting an antiques business in Hong Kong.  She became addicted to opium, and friends turned her in to Hong Kong authorities, who detained her briefly before expelling her from the country.

Here's a letter Brown wrote home to her mother in Illinois while going through withdrawal in detention: 

Hi Mom -- I’ve started at least half a dozen letters to you, but just never got them finished. ... I’ve just been so weak I can barely think, much less do anything. ... I don’t know yet what I should do, but I’ll write again after court on Friday. I do need to get away though, as much as it scares me to leave. ... I need help desperately, and I can’t really find it here. I guess I feel a little like I’ve been raped –- like my personal private life has suddenly been thrown open to the world and I hate even seeing friends. ... I sleep a lot -– sometimes staying in bed the whole day and night. Partly because of the weakness from "detoxification", but mostly because I can't face getting up and facing the world. I need to be near people who have faith in me and can give me courage...

I can't explain to myself hardly why I've made such a mess of it. I guess I've never really had faith in myself –- I've always felt like I've bluffed people into thinking I was clever or interesting or strong -– and always been afraid to be found out. ... I just hope if I do triumph over this, then I will have a good cause to have faith in myself. ...

I love you.

R

Brown ended up going to a monastery in Northern Thailand, where a young monk helped her recover from her addiction. The two (That's Roxanna, on the far right) were married in 1980. The first part in The Times' three-part series is accompanied by a photo gallery and archived stories.

-- Jason Felch

Photo: provided by Fred Leo Brown

Comments

[Bill Smith of Argo]

i need Leo to contact me. bill6977smith@yahoo.com. Must talk. Problems! Not serious.