Online dating: At least he didn't pay for dinner

He's the (Single) GeekHiker, he's an expert on the trails, but is apparently a little lost when it comes to searching for romance on the Internet. After posting his profile on a dating site, he got a rush when a woman e-mailed him a question. He replied. She responded. He replied again. She responded again. After his third e-mail, however, Geek Hiker waited. And continues to wait.

This would have been considered rude behavior in person, The Hiker say, but might be typical online. But then again, he wonders what the rule might be.

"Maybe there’s an unwritten rule out there that says 'thou shalt offer to meet for coffee upon dispatching thine third e-mail to the party interested in thee', or something like that.... It seems for all the unwritten "rules" out there that might apply, there are none regarding common courtesy ... ah, well, live & learn."

So, should Geek Hiker have sent a fourth e-mail or just taken a hike instead?

-- Jesus Sanchez

Comments

[Thomas]

There is no rule about when to offer up an in person meeting. I've had emails go back and forth for a month before either party suggested an in person meeting. I've had girls suggest we get together for happy hour in their first email. It's different for each situation, and in general it helps to move from a couple emails to an chatting online and/or texting and calling prior to shooting for the date. A lot of people will interpret a premature date proposition as desperate. Others will admire one's confidence and straightforwardness, it all depends.

[a life uncommon]

Either GeekHiker, or the respondee, should have suggested meeting in person by the second reply. Those on dating sites certainly aren't looking for pen pals.

[Cara]

He should have taken a hike. However if she's super hot, he should let things simmer for a couple of days, then contact her again. Hot women sometimes lose track of email pingpong because they have too many men emailing them.

:-)

Cara